Dear guys, I need an opinion about the process of qualification: you know that there's a phase in which we should qualify the girl, make her investing by asking her questions (like "tell me three interesting things about you" -open ended- or "can you cook?" -closed-), inviting her to do something for us or to connect on a deep emotional level.

We also know that, while we make her investing, we shouldn't invest on her. Basically, we should avoid to jump in her hoops (= we should avoid to reply to her open ended qualifying questions, her closed qualifying questions; we should avoid to give her our compliance and to tell her a lot of emotional-personal stuff etc.)

However, I find this structure too rigid, and I have also the opinion that, while Mystery invites his students to be rigid, Adam Lyons and other PUAs are more soft about this.

In order to give me a soft structure to handle the qualification process, I have written some guidelines and I'd like to know if you agree with them:

1. You shouldn't qualify yourself by making waves with affirmations like: "Hey, girl, I have a wonderful car and I earn a lot of money"

2. Do not reply (or reply with sarcasm) to questions (asked by a very bastard girl) like: "Do you have a great car or are you like all the other guys?"

3. Sometimes you can jump in her hoops (for example, you can give her an object that is near you and distant from her, who is very busy; you can reply to an occasional question like "Can you swim?"; you can -and should- tell her deep emotional things about you). The important thing is that she invests more than you and that you don't ever act like a slave or an anxious student.

What do you think? I'd like to know interesting opinions from you.

Thanks!

The question I have off the top of my head is have you ever actually had an actual personal conversation with a real woman face to face before? Have you ever actually been out with a woman or are you just reading material about it and hoping to some day?

Honest question, I'm not trying to bust your balls or give you a bad time or anything. You sound like you have been reading some material and trying to come up with an algorhythmic game plan but haven't actually been in the field yet. That's OK, nothing wrong with that, you have to start somewhere.

I am quite a bit older than most of the posters here and I have never had anyone ever once ask me what kind of car I drive or how much money I make. I have never told anyone what kind of car I drive or how much $ I have or what kind of house I have or anything of that nature.

Just be yourself and be honest around people and they will see who and what you are for themselves. If you try to pretend to be something you are not, you will always shoot yourself in the foot and look like an ass.

Here's the key on "investment" since you mentioned that. Don't invest any time, energy or $ into a woman YHAT YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO LOSE untill you see definate signs that she is investing an equal amount of emotional, romantic and sexual time and energy into you.

The challenge when you are starting out is being able to see and read those signs accurately in the beginning of an interaction.

Thank you for your reply.

When I dedicate to the theory, I like to be really accurate, to use the same grade of accuracy that makes Mystery saying: "You shouldn't jump in her hoops".

However, in reality, I know a lot of women who have become attracted to me even if I have told them a lot of stuff about myself, confessing some fragilities.

But the fact that I have attracted 6 women by revealing things about myself and by qualifying myself, doesn't mean that it is the more useful strategy.

Other opinions?

I more or less agree, the only question i keep getting that revolves somewhat around my value is what i do for a living to that i just answer:

I work in marketing as a salesman, the hourly pay isn't really anything but i love it and the provision is great

as for her part, you shouldn't ask qualifying questions in my book, you should learn to reconise when she IS qualifying herself, which she will be doing if you game her proberly and DHV'ed and then reward her for it, remember to use "We" setences

ex from my sarge this friday, we were talking about her boyfriend
Me: so if you've never met him, how did the two of you get together?
HB: i dont want to tell, it's embarrasing
Me: come on, i can take it
HB: I met him through the community in this game i play called league of legends.
Me: you play LoL, nice, i just started playing, used to play HoN and i've been a fan of dota since it was actually called defence of the ancients
HB: nice I'm a total geek, got two alienware computers at home (now she's qualifying)
Me: man I'm jealous, but getting into LoL after playing for this long was totally unfair, had like 250 takedowns, after my first 12 games, It's alot more action packed than HoN and Dota
HB: yeah thats why i love it
Me: what's your nick, WE should take a match sometime, I bet ill kick your ass

_________________
"seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already".
-Waiter Rant

D.O.S., thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate the fact that it really suits my post.

So you basically agree. I am happy about it.

In your book it's written that you shouldn't use qualifying questions, right?

But you have correctly made her investing via a qualifying question ("so if you've never met him, how did the two of you get together?").

Another thing important to notice is that you have also told her something about you (which is a little amount of investment). And it is still perfect in my opinion!

In conclusion, with this thread I would like to express that Mystery exaggerates when he says "do not jump in her hoops": it is impossible and stupid.

Every conversation, every human interaction, requires mutual investment.

I think that, if she qualifies just a little more than you, and if she doesn't ask you provoking, bastard questions, you can (and should) always reply.