Hi everyone,

I have missed so many opportunities to meet and talk to women over the years, simply because I lack self confidence. I am afraid of looking foolish while trying to strike up a conversation with them. And I have no verbal skills/charm to keep the conversation interesting as well. To make matters worse, I'm really a nice guy at heart, and girls seam to prefer not so nice guys probably because they may seam more exciting and interesting and challenging. Sensing this, a few years ago, I decided to experiment with Robert Greene's technique "The Ideal Lover". I choose this technique because the girl I was interested in, kept talking about how she likes "bad boys" so in keeping with this technique, I played to her fantasy by pretending to be one. And it worked, we had a great sex life for about 2 and a half year. Anyway, I have not used this or any other technique since. Its time to start meeting women.

Now that I am aware of the damage my lack of confidence has caused, I am beginning to see opportunities to meet women everywhere: in the taxi, walking to work, you name it. But I need to develop some skills to take advantage of the most common situations I face every day. This is why I joined this site

Looking forward to reading your comments in the various sections. Keep up the great work guys

Rule 1) Don't give a damn, if they reject you well bad for them and it doesn't really matter because you're never gonna meet them again!

Rule 2) Never forget rule one!


P.S. Since your starting to approach women try the 3 Second rule!

You need to take a lot more risks becuz naturally you are a nice dude. Thats not bad at all but you have to open yourself up to new things. Dont worry about getting material from us btw get it from lady friends. And practice extended 5 approaches a day.

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aiden k. baker

Self doubt has been something I’ve struggled with all my life, from debating whether I could get into a top tier university to believing I could succeed as a pick-up artist. It’s a very human emotion, and it’s made worse for some people because of life experiences or temperament. Self doubt also makes you feel alone. Sometimes you think you’re the only person in the universe who suffers from a crisis of confidence, and you wish that you could be more like your successful, self-assured neighbor. Well, I guarantee that your neighbor doubts himself every now and then too.

You won’t ever be able to rid yourself of doubt entirely – believe me, I’ve tried. But I hope that these suggestions will lessen your pain when dark thoughts are all around you.

Go back in time: The first step to overcoming self doubt is to recognize that it’s there in the first place. Think about the circumstances that are leading you to feel insecure, and see if you notice any patterns. Are there particular situations (for example, dealing with AMOG's, speaking in public) that prompt you to feel this way? Make a note of times in the past when you doubted yourself but ended up coming through with flying colors. Knowledge and recognition of your past successes will bolster your courage regarding what you can achieve in the future.

Defeat the doubtful thoughts: Grab a peice of paper and a pen. In one column, write a doubtful thought, and in the opposite column, write facts that dispute that doubtful thought. For instance, suppose you are afraid to invite a new co-worker to lunch because you’re afraid you won’t have anything to talk about and she won’t like me. Statements that refute that thought might be: “We can spend at least an hour talking about the culture of our workspace here and what she did before this” and “She will like me because I’ve made a sincere overture to get to know her better.”

Keep an event journal: If you are a person who experiences a lot of self doubt, then it’s time for a test. In the course of a single day, write down all of the things – simple and complex – that you accomplished without a hitch. These can be things like “ran productive opener” or “had great talk with Ashley over coffee.” Then, write down the things that didn’t go so well. You will inevitably notice that the list of things that went well far outweighs the list of things that didn’t, and this will hopefully allow you to see your doubt in a different light.

Call on your cheerleaders: Often, our loved ones can see our lives much more objectively than we can. Being a natural introvert, I sometimes doubt my interpersonal skills, and when someone doesn’t respond to me in the way that I expect, I occasionally get paranoid. It always helps to call one of my best friends so that she can assure me that I do in fact have a lot of wonderful relationships in my life.

Celebrate your successes: When a situation in which you doubted yourself turns out better than you expected, don’t just nod and smile and move immediately on to the next thing. Take a moment and reward yourself for a positive outcome. Do something you enjoy like going to your favorite restaurant or have a drink. Taking the time to cement positive emotions in your mind will hopefully make the doubt disappear more quickly next time.

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You all take 'er easy. And if she's easy, take her twice.

this may sound really daft, but you had the ability to pretend to be that guy that you wernt, why not pretend to be confident?

like i said you might not think that possible, but its what i did, i might not have slept with hundreds of women but i can walk into a pub and chat to a group of girls!

also id try follow chiefs advice, get your self down to a crowded public place, make some eye contact. walk from one end of a place to another and say hi or hello or hey to every girl who returns your eye contact!

confidence is a state of mind, and its somethinig you have the ability to change.

Thanks for your reply. You're right, the few times in life I felt confident (like the very rare occasions I purchased new clothes that looked and fitted great, or when I was having an unusually great day) that confidence I felt made me forget about what other people thought. "Don't give a damn" will be my first rule in my daily journal. Thanks.

I will research this "3 second rule", sounds interesting.
You are right, I definately need to take more risks. I love this quote from Wikipedia's definition of opportunism: Also, this extended 5 approaches a day I need to research, sounds interesting, thanks


[quote="Tom_"Maybe""]Self doubt has been something I’ve struggled with all my life ...[/quote]

Wow, thanks Tom for taking the time to share this with me.

[quote="Tom_"Maybe""] Think about the circumstances that are leading you to feel insecure, and see if you notice any patterns... Are there particular situations ... that prompt you to feel this way? [/quote]
About 95% of the time I feel insecure because of my fear she will reject my advances I guess, I need to think about this somemore

[quote="Tom_"Maybe""]
Defeat the doubtful thoughts: Grab a peice of paper and a pen. In one column, write a doubtful thought, and in the opposite column, write facts that dispute that doubtful thought...[/quote]

[quote="Tom_"Maybe""]
Keep an event journal ... [/quote]

I really love this idea. Infact, I am going to put the doubtful thoughs/dispute thoughts in the journal. What a great idea.

[quote="Tom_"Maybe""]Celebrate your successes ...[/quote]
Should I also punish myself for not taking opportunities that could lead to successfully meeting women? For example, if I get the girl, I could celebrate by treating myself to my favorite ice cream, however if I did not sieze the opportunity, NO ice cream until I do? This may sound silly but I really like ice cream and was thinking this would pressure me to grap opportunities inorder to reap the benefits.
Pretend to be confident will be rule number 2 in my new rule book (after "Don't give a damn") and practice will make perfect
I love this idea! The reason why I never really set out to do this is because I'm introverted, but no, when I get paid I am going to get some new clothes and try this from now!

Easier said than done because when your not confident, its easy to fall back in my crappy-shy ways.

I personally decided self-confidence is for girls with slow metabolisms.
Basically, go for being shameless.
Unless you had some incident early in life that caused you to become a psychopath or rape victim, or you suffer from like pica;
You have the same desires as everyone else.

Lol, what possible events in one's early childhood could cause them to be a rape victim...?

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Life is too important to be taken seriously. (Church of FSM)

Yes, "Don't give a damn" is now my number one rule. Boldness makes you look assertive, and appear confident. Thanks

man i feel you im the same way but iv been useing the DDS stuff and its gold this stuff is bold and up front its lagit it will help you not give a damn

In going to war, It makes sense to first arm ourselves with the basic weapons. I'm glad I joined this community. Ever since I read Neil Strauss's book, everything changed from my perspective. Being laid is no longer a dream.

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To meet or not to meet that is the question..

When I read your reply, I did not even know who Neil Strauss is! So I Googled him, discovered the Game and got the book, which I am reading right now. I am really glad I joined this site. Thanks

Yes, after reading your reply, I did a search for DDS and found this post with pickup lines that just cracked me up:
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