Ryan / blondguy,

It has been six months now since I first discovered all of this and it has been an interesting journey. When opening in daygame or streetgame I always try INDIRECT as I admit I have not got the balls for direct daygame (yet) and I have tried a few semi-direct openers and I just know I made a tit out of myself. A favourite indirect opener of mine (besides the cliched but useful ones about directions or opinion openers) is to ask for the time (even if I am wearing a watch, this of course transitions into how I am not sure my watch is working properly and then many other spontaneous situational openers that follow).

Do you think all of this is viable and sensible? From my personal experience I have managed to hold more convos and escalate after an indirect opener because (at least in my view) they seem more natural even if the indirect opener was just an excuse to open the HB.

First, do you have a link to a webpage that concisely summarizes his theory?

Second, about going direct, what do you normally say when you think a girl is cute? Is it: "Hey, you're cute, I'm Ryan, blah blah blah".
The reason I ask is because I've seen you talk about that a lot, but I'm not sure that saying "you're cute", or something to that effect, is necessary or helpful. If you're walking up to a girl, saying hi, and making smalltalk with her, then she KNOWS your interested, it's just implied. I've never found it necessary to be like "you're cute!" - I just assume she knows I must think that.
So I'd like your thoughts that area...

First off, it's great to hear that you're pushing yourself, getting out there and doing approaches. Even guys with tons of nightgame experience often find it really hard to get over the initial anxiety of stopping a random girl in the street during the day, so well done!

If you're going for a "gradual desensitisation" approach to becoming direct, then by all means continue working your way up through directions until you're comfortable with that. Maybe it'll take you only a few weeks or months to finally be at that level where you're able to deliver an honest compliment.

On our bootcamps, rather than getting guys to slowly dip their toes in the water and gradually work their way in, we actually go for the shock and awe, diving in head first approach! Yes, it's scary at first, but once you push yourself to do the exercises like pranks and blowouts, everything else becomes so easy that telling a girl she's hot is NOTHING!

If continuing conversations is something you want to work on, then by all means practice that. I always suggest talking with people throughout your day, especially shop assistants who are PAID to be nice to you. If your goal is to get girl's numbers and go on dates with them, however, then opening indirectly to try to keep yourself in a conversation for as long as possible is the WRONG mentality.

Me personally, I WANT to get blown out as quickly as possible if the girl is not interested in me. Sounds crazy? Well, I don't believe "attraction building" material is really worth all that much. If a girl is interested and available, she'll have decided within 30 SECONDS to one MINUTE whether she'd ever consider having a sexual relationship with you. Many girls have told me that during that initial minute, they were already thinking about the fact that they'd be able to wear their favourite high heels, and what dress could go with that, on our first date!

Knowing that this is the case, I will give a girl MULTIPLE opportunities to tell me that she has a boyfriend or husband, so that I don't WASTE TIME talking to a girl with whom I have NO CHANCE.

Furthermore, if a girl would be interested, then she'll never be MORE attracted to you than when you've just displayed an enormous amount of confidence and charm by having the balls to stop her dead, AND give her a lovely compliment!

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Firstly, the opener has a bit more structure than just a compliment. We use a "pre-frame" to both get her attention and set up expectation before the compliment, for example "Hey, listen don't take this the wrong way but..." or "Hi, I know this may sound a bit random but..."

Second, I shy away from words like "cute" or "hot" because they're kinda generic. I prefer slightly more interesting or unique turns of phrase such as "absolutely gorgeous" or especially in a club when things are more intense "fucking sexy."

There are many reasons why I choose this approach.

1. It's HONEST and AUTHENTIC - I'm giving a compliment because I honestly mean it, and when I open the girls I really find attractive, this shines through. Having to think up some excuse or lie to start a conversation with a girl strikes me as fundamentally weak, and often (though not always) stems from a man's fear of displaying his intentions and being rejected.

2. It's UNIQUE and INTERESTING - most people are bored and most people are borING. Starting the conversation with a little hook that's a bit different immediately gets her curious and engaged with you. When you contact her the next time to set up that date, she will most certainly remember you!

3. It's CONFIDENT - the number one attractive quality in men's personalities according to most women is confidence. Having the balls to say something this direct whilst maintaining solid eye contact and bodylanguage, immediately conveys this important trait.

4. It sets the INTENT for the rest of the interaction - making it clear I'm hitting on her enables me to be unashamed about what's going on. We can still play silly games of push-pull, tease, and banter, but the subtext has been clearly set that we are flirting with each other.

5. It saves TIME - if the girl would never be interested, either because she does not find you attractive, or she is already in a relationship, then she will say so within one minute, so you don't spend 30 minutes building comfort and rapport with a girl only for her to tell you she's married when you try to get her phone number.

Finally, I don't buy the idea that the girl definitely knows what your intentions are simply by you talking. I've had female friends of mine tell me that a guy was just being friendly and they were just having a nice chat, when I can CLEARLY SEE that the guy's trying to hit on her! I've had girls who I approached in a very direct manner ask me later in the conversation "so what exactly do you want?" and I've even approached a girl directly, invited her out on a date, and had her friendzone me! If those things can happen even when going DIRECT, imagine how much room there is for miscommunication when you're asking her directions or the time!


[The best website for David X material, along with other direct guys such as Alan Roger Currie, Badboy and Sasha, is www.directdatingsummit.com]

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what do you think about the boot camp effect?i think it's called that way...When an instructor is making you to go and talk to chicks it's easyer,and when you go home you can't do it.Do you think it's up to an instructor to make the guy able to practice PU after the training is over.Or do you think by simple showing him it's possible you did you job?
What are your thoughts on that?I enjoy your perspective and maybe this way you could explain this to me.I don't know on what website there was a guy who paid like crazy 1 on 1 training because he couldn't do it alone...

There are tons of reasons behind why this may happen:

1. Investing all that money means guys want to get the most out of it and really push themselves

2. Having an instructor you trust there by your side means you can go into an interaction thinking "this WILL work" rather than allowing yourself to question your actions too much

3. Just having a guy there pushing you into sets before you can overthink and overanalyse the situation is useful

=> The REAL difference is what happens AFTER the bootcamp. An approach coach can push you into set after set, but a few days later your AA will return and you'll be back needing some more material or some more training (you think!)

A great coach will ingrain an entirely new mentality into you, so that you actually keep getting BETTER after the bootcamp is over. Impossible?

Here's a guy we christened "super AA guy" because he was so bad, he couldn't even talk to random GUYs on the street, let alone tell beautiful girls what he was really thinking! This was after his first approach http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9oQee9DE7k Now, 4 weeks on, he's doing SUPER DIRECT on every girl in sight, and this is what he has to say about his new direct mindset: http://www.vimeo.com/24216397

That's the kind of lasting change we like to see! You can read more about his transformation on his blog here http://david-slade.co.uk/

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Hey Ryan, what's up

I just wanna ask you something, you do mostly direct gaming, how do you deal with gorups, I mean surely you can't just go in, hit on a girl and ignore other members of her group, how do you deal with that?

Thanks K.

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Good question! As with most things, it comes down to calibrating to the situation.

In daygame, it's useful to engage the friend first and explain to her that you'd like to hit on her friend. A compliment to BOTH goes a long way, because the friend will feel initially validated. From there, as long as you share a bit of the conversation, so that the friend isn't just standing there being shut out, they're likely allow you to stay and chat up your target for a good 5 minutes, without wanting to drag them away. A useful tactic is to tease and qualify your target THROUGH the friend ("is she a bit of a party girl, and you're the serious one telling her to stop doing shots and get off the bar!" because it keeps her engaged whilst still essentially flirting with your target.

In nightgame, in a loud club, it's totally ok to essentially immediately get your target out of her group and do a mini isolation so she's close to her group, but facing towards YOU and away from them. You can be much more sexual and direct, because nobody can hear what you're saying apart from you. If the girl really wants to get laid and actually likes you, she will not need to girl-code, and will remain with you even if her friends attempt to drag her away.

If there's a club situation where the group could actually hear you and you think the situation requires that you get into the group first, then by all means apply the daygame principle, compliment the group and say you want to hit on the friend, then isolate. However, this isn't always required.

The main difference is that, during the day, a girl will be shopping with her friend maybe, and thus they will want to stick together. If you ignore the friend, you're being socially uncalibrated and rude, she will get bored and jealous, and drag her off.

In a club, at least one of those girls is there to get laid. They all know where they are, and so it's totally fine to focus on one girl and isolate her pretty quickly. If she wants to fuck you, she's gonna do so as long as the logistics don't fuck up, and she will make it clear she doesn't need help from her friends and is not going to be leaving with them, but with you.

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Hmmm... Good point

Thanks

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Hi Ryan and Blondguy!~

It's my first time here and I really want some help.

I met a girl 2 weeks ago. She is 21, tall and cute. She left school early and started to work at a young age. She never travels, doesnt read much, and doesnt know much about everything. So she often didnt get my humor or understood what i was saying. I asked her out for dinner a few times. I tried some routines, used some techniques, but she were not quite into it. She is friendly to me but doesnt seem to have much attration for me. She knows that I like her, but it seems like we are stuck in the friendzone. I don't know what to do.

Hope you can give me some advice, thanks!

how-to-get-out-of-the-friendzone-vt89597.html

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Hey Ryan

i have been out doing direct cold daygame approaches on campuses of universities. and i have ran into a sticking point that i haven't really seen much info on.

i actually have done enough approaches to the point that i do not really get nervous anymore. I worked on opening, and then after i had done down i focused on transitioning. now i start flirting more and qualifiying a girl for qualities that i am looking for.

but heres my problem now. In set, i am calm and confident and can hold a good conversation to the point that the girl gets the sense that i must do this alot. They will often ask me questions like

"You must do this alot right?"
"So is this the first time you ever done this? or have you done this before?"
"You are a good conversationalist. You can hold a conversation well. how often to you go around talking to girls on the street?"

So my question is how do i really handle the situation. Bc so far i have been honest and upfront with my interest. i feel if i answer the honest way that i actually have done this enough to point where i am comfortable doing it, that it will give the girl that im a player vibe which i am not really. but they dont know that yet.

my solution is to not answer the question and try ti reframe it. like answering "what do you think?"
Another question i have to ask is it possible to push past initial rejection or( resistance). Sometimes girls say thank you and smile after the direct opener and walk around me. I have tried reopening these girls and it doesnt get anywhere. i just think a guy needs to show persistance so thats why i try to always push past the first barrier.

i have met rejection/resistance when i go for the number. often i dont give my number out for blah blah....any reason. I have tried changing the subject and continue the conversation and then try again later but still no luck.

but i did have one set where the girl was like i dont give my number out cause i have a boyfriend do you know what i mean? and i looked her dead straight in the eye and said No. and then she was like alright heres my number. so i know i can do it but most of the time it hasnt really work

Thanks again ryan direct behavior has definitely change my life for the better. i find if she accepts the first direct compliment and stays there that anything sexual is free ball game now cause she know why i am talking to her.

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"Believe It"
"The moment I start second-guessing myself, It's all over"

Realize the POWER of BELIEF

Hey.. dont really know what to do here..
So I've known this girl (HB9) from before a little bit. Yesterday I got really drunk and we almost ended up together at the party. Was tryin to k-close but she was teasing all the time, our lips touched just once for a little while and I ended up empty handed.
She also said; Im not one of your one-night stand girls. (Cause of my reputation and she saw me dancin with couple of different girls). We also talked briefly about a drink for next week but Im not really sure, was pretty wasted.
Today texts:
Me:Hey mamacita=), how u doin.. hungover? Do u have any time on monday afternoon so we meet up for a drink:)
HB: aaand you are?
Me: The coolest guy from the party=).
HB: Wau so confident.
Me: Come on, where is your sense for humor.. (name).=)
HB: So much about the coolest guy :/ haahah. Well hello there, im fine, not hungovered at all. You?? I gotta think a little about the drink though;).
Me: I woke up in pain today, little better now. Well you think about it and when you pick up the courage let me know=)
HB:Haaha ok deal. Be good=).

So should I wait untill she writes? Dont really wanna loose one so I was thinking to send her a text on monday but I dont really know what kind of text should I send. Any advice?
I have time until tuesday because later Im going to Amsterdam, the things will cool off and she'll be gone.

UPDATE: Today is my birthday and her text was: Hey, heard you have a birthday today.. haaaappy, happy b-day!:)
Good reply here?
Thanks, really appreciate it

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Currently on my 3 month euro poker trip. February: Prague, March: Warsaw, April: Amsterdam. If you wanna hang out, party etc. drop me a PM.
"A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness." Hank Mooddy

Glad to hear you're getting out there, being direct, and things are happening for you!

When a girl says something like "do you talk to random girls on the street a lot," you can either jokingly or seriously say "only the really hot ones " and then change the subject.

It IS possible to push past initial rejection, yes. You're absolutely right to want to show charming persistence, and many women find that attractive. The trick is to do it in a completely non-needy and non-value-taking way, which can sometimes be difficult to calibrate. Some tips that may help you:

– NEVER follow. If she keeps walking, WAIT where you are, then run around and re-open again

– Always smile = take a "rejection" as just a playful "not right now " from her, nothing more

– Remember how she's feeling - she may often walk away because she's not sure how to handle the situation, or is nervous, check out Sasha's article about this here: http://www.sashapua.com/articles/why-gi ... e-you.html

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CALL her and set up a more solid day 2 that involves something interesting or different. You shouldn't ask if she has time, you should just say - come join me at X place at Y time we're gonna do Z it'll be fun. That's it.

She may not have time - don't worry! You can keep things ticking over and see her when she gets back, she's not gonna just disappear!

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