Feel free to tell me what to do different but this is me honestly being myself online..

Me: I'm guessing you get hundreds of messages from guys telling you about themselves and how good you look but I'm not that kind of guy, I just want to chat and see what your all about, so shoot me a message if not good luck with your search

Her: Haha they send me the stupidest things, but thank you for being different.

Me: Yea I've read some of the things they can say haha it's hilarious how almost all of them come up with the same headline and message. I saw you were from new mexico, Is it fun out their?.. To be honest I thought everyone spoke spanish over their lol

Her: Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. It's alright here.. haha no no no, not everyone does. I actually speak french:)

Me: That's awesome I'm actually half french, I can't speak it but my grandma grew up their. Comment vous êtes-vous retrouvés à Nouveau-Mexique si vous parlez le français ? (means If your french how did you end up in new mexico)

Her: I live in New Mexico because most of my family lives here, my mom was French my dad was from here.. he met her when he was vacationing there one summer after graduation, they had me.. she died when I was about 8 years old.

Me: Jeez I'm sorry, that must have been tough on you.. Let's change the subject because now I feel bad lol what was the most fun/craziest thing you've done in your life so far?

That's all I got so far but please feel free to critisize me just make sure that I can do it without being fake

1) Escalate! This convo seems to be going nowhere, fast. She's going to get bored if you continue with the generic comments.
2) Watch the grammar. Know the differences between "there" and "their".
3) Too many lol's and haha's. It shows that you're way too interested.
4) Shitty luck with the whole dead-mother thing, but you shouldn't have said that you feel bad or anything.

How should he have escalated? Did he have an opportunity?

That's the thing, people tell me you need to build omfort before you escalate because it's on the internet and you can't really show much personality, so how do you escalate properly, thanks.

given your opener I think it would have been inconsistent to start 'escalating' quickly. If she responds to that question, you have a good transition into a more interesting converstation.

Then again, I'm not very good at escalating online, so consider that...

I wouldn't exactly say you need to escalate yet, you just need to keep the conversation interesting.