From AFC to PUA: a Learning Journal (AFC Daniel)



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PostPosted: Sat May 14, 2011 10:11 pm 
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Daniel, i have to say, im inspired. I've read your journal from the 1st post of a total afc, now i think you are definately a PUA. As always u r an inspiration.

also, since this is only afc to pua, u gotta just have a pua journal with field reports, advice etc. please dont stop posting, you are the best

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 Post subject: Get over AA
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2011 2:34 am 
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The best tip I have, one that has given me actual tangible results to get over AA is this. Go jogging in a popular place in the morning regularly. When you see a woman coming the other way, tip your hat give them a 'good morning' and keep running. Your not even looking for their reaction at this stage, you are simply after the satisfaction of opening woman straight off the bat without thinking about it. By lunch time you have both opened a handful of random women and improved your health/fitness. Do this for a week and I guarantee your outlook will be improved and AA reduced.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 3:20 pm 
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@HappySlip & @kasabi.

Yeah not such a good idea in second thoughts!

@tweeby.

Thanks tweeby for following me for such a long time. Indeed, it's simpler that it looks like... it's about sticking to the plan. Easy to say though... It demands a lot of determination! Yet, I don't feel like I've done some crazy Game to have her... but I was fully enjoying myself and really loving the moment. I could not have achieved this without PUA. On another note, what would I be able to do with a better game in such a night? That sounds good.

@Sttartter.

I'm glad I inspire you Sttartter but believe me, managing a ONS definitely does not make me a PUA. I've progressed a lot since the beginning but the road is still very long. I'll only stop posting when I won't need a journal anymore to achieve my goal. Not the case for now.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 9:50 am 
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Quote:
Yet, I don't feel like I've done some crazy Game to have her... but I was fully enjoying myself and really loving the moment. I could not have achieved this without PUA. On another note, what would I be able to do with a better game in such a night? That sounds good.
I'm sure you displayed a lot of the characteristics of a PUA with tight game, though.

Having focused on it for a while now you will have subconsciously begun to alter your behaviour so what seems normal now was PUA back at the beginning of your journey.

I've often found for myself that the nights which I felt I used no game and managed to pick up are often the nights when you look back and realise that your behaviour shouted some of the best game you've run.

Keep up the awesome work man, everytime I read this I get more inspired. I finally broke my two month drought on friday and then today again (different lays) after reading your recent posts and just deciding fuck it and going for it :D.
Props.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 3:29 am 
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Quick Update.

Argentina.
As you noticed, I'm back from Buenos Aires. I enjoyed my trip but I did not game at all. People there were really closed (like in Europe actually) and I had some troubles to open even though I speak Spanish. I did not see a lot of beautiful girls actually. I went to a club too but it was pretty empty strangely. There were a lot of 30yo people... The only girls that were beautiful were from Brazil. I've danced a bit with them and actually met them but did not try anything.

Thinking about her.
I actually even surprised myself thinking about British Girl, almost missing her even though I spent less than 12 hours with her in total. Even more funny, I actually even pictured her with another guy and got jealous about that. LOL. I'm not even surprised about that... I have a quite obvious tendency for one-itis.

Me, myself and I.
Since I'm back from Argentina... (or maybe since I had my ONS) I feel like spending time by myself. I did not go to parties or anything, I spend my time home. I even skipped classes on Tuesday... I'm not proud of it but I was just too lazy to get up.

I also went to the cinema by myself today. It was pretty funny since it was a special "moms". I ended up in a room full of mothers with babies to watch a lame girly movie. Even the local TV channel was here to interview some mothers about the initiative. So yeah, all along the movie, babies were crying, getting changed, ... but I did not mind at all in the end. Once again, I felt like I was in a movie.

Death.
There is something else. I learned that yesterday night, a student from my faculty got shot in the parking lot while leaving classes. He has been followed by several men that wanted to rob him. He tried to get into his car (armored) but they shot him in the head. All the campus is pretty shocked and I'm actually more affected by that than I admit it. He got assaulted in the very place where I study. He was a student of my university, going in the same classes. I did not know him but the fact that someone so close to me was shot without any reason is really disturbing for me; even more since it was on the campus. Seeing the picture of this 24yo student on the ground with my university in the background is really compelling. I am not "afraid" of being killed tomorrow but truth is I'm not being careful at all since I'm here... I just go out, walk in the street alone at night, speak to a lot of strangers...

New opportunities.
Remember German Girl? The girl I tried to kiss close several time... The one with the sexy tattoo... The one that gave me the finger... Well she broke up with her boyfriend. I'm getting a lot of IOIs and I think she's wanting me to do the first move but, again, I don't wanna date her. Similarly, I'm doing great with U2 Fan. I'm having great interaction in facebook with her... I'm teasing a lot... But in the mean time she's dealing with some complicated ex issues.

What do I want?
That's the question I've been asking to myself. Since I got laid, I don't have this stupid pressure of "result" and I'm actually more thinking about myself than about the Game. I want more than ever be a man, a successful one that would, indirectly attract any women.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 2:33 am 
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DAY 63: second kiss close.
"Are you in love with me?".

Context.
Since I'm back from Argentina, I felt like staying by myself. Truth is I don't even feel like gaming since then but more like improving who I am. I was invited to a party yesterday night. A lot of my friends were coming so I decided to go there and enjoy the company of my friends. The party was to start at 10pm. A lot of French people were expected. I agreed to meet some of my friend at the metro station so we could go there together.

Addressed issues.
- I've not been really social lately, I've spent a lot of time by myself.
- I got better in social situation, but there is still a big room for improvement.

Goals.
- Have fun!
- Be dominant.

Strategy.
When I go out at night I usually have 60yoc's concepts in mind: getting momentum and focusing in the first 30 minutes of the party. In case of chode attitude, being social is the key.
____________________________________________________________________

Approaching in the bus.
I was supposed to meet some friends at the metro station in order to go with them at the party. I was not taking the subway though, but taking a bus. I went at the bus stop next to my house and waited for the bus. It took 45 minutes for the bus to come. I've been waiting 40 minutes and was about to give up, but I did not. I gave myself 10 minutes, and I did right. The bus finally came.

I sat next to a blond girl who was carrying some heavy books. I noticed she was studying at the same university, it was written in the books. She must have taken them from the university library. She was not that hot but these books gave me a great opener. The approach excitement was bigger and bigger... I finally opened her for a silly information: "this bus is going to the metro station isn't it?". She answered... I thanked her and told her "You have a lot of books here, are you gonna read all of them? You have some ambition...". We started a conversation from here but it I did not push it further. The point is: I took the opportunity so I can socially warm up for the party.

Getting the party started.
I joined my friends at the subway and we went at the party. I was doing great, having fun with the German girls, trying to speak German with them. I was social and even planned a soccer game for the day after. More and more people were coming. I knew most of them but stayed with my Canadians friends to talk about random stuff.

AFC phase.
At some point, a Dutch exchange student came to me to say hello. She told me I ignored her a few minutes before. Told her I was sorry, I did not see her. She replied that I was really strange lately. "Hope everything is okay with you". I was like... what the heck? We barely know each other and now she says I've been strange lately? Hmm that was strange and made me think. I was not in the moment anymore. I was not smiling anymore. Have I been strange lately? Some minutes later Princess stumbled upon me. I kissed her hello and she said the same thing: "are you okay? you've been a little moody lately..." What? Truth is I don't even see what they were talking about... I've barely seen her lately but here she was pointing at how AFC I've been? lol. I did not know what they were really talking about but it allowed me to notice how AFC I was to react like that to this kind of silly stuff. So I thought about 60yoc and looked for some friends to be social and get out of this chode behavior.

Getting back on my feet.
I went back to some German guys to have fun with them. I asked them what I should say to seduce I German girl... we laughed about it. A Colombian girl joined us and we started the same conversation but in Spanish. We had some fun. I finally met my Portuguese friend. We started to speak about girls and I told him about the British girl I've met a few days earlier. I'm not used to speak about my relations... I've actually never done it... Friends, parents... I've never spoken about my relations to anybody. But I spoke with him about my ONS. I was not showing off at all, just telling him the 45 minutes outside trying to find a hotel... lol. We laughed about it.

Kiss closing German Girl.
Later, I went to go for a drink and I stumbled upon German Girl. Remember her? She's the girl with the sexy tattoo at the bottom of her belly, the one that gave me the finger 36-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=525. I took her to get a drink with me in the kitchen. There were a lot of people in there but the light was off. I went to the table with the drinks to the something. She was a bit drunk, I was not at all. We started to speak a little. I was cocky and funny as usual with her. I escalated little by little, took her in my arms... I went for a kiss... she avoided it. I tried again and I managed to kiss her lips. A few seconds after, she was the one coming at me to make out.

The light came back. She isolated me. We went to a quieter place and kept on making out. Key elements:
- I was feeling her ass (under her jeans)
- I got to see her tattoo again
- At some point, I grabbed her legs and put her against the wall and kiss her.
- I ended up doing a game routine with her... I got her favorite sex position out of it.
- I managed the expectation really well I think. I clearly told her that I did not want to have a serious relationship. I told her we could be friends with benefits. She agreed.
- She asked me if I was in love with her at some point. I was surprised but I told the truth... No I'm not.

Let's get the party ended.
I was getting tired. We left the party and went to the metro station. I've waited with her for the first subway. She was in her thoughts during the whole conversation. I tried not to do what a boy friend would do... I really wanted to manage her expectations, especially since I don't even know if I want to sleep with her...

Results: I had some fun and kiss closed German Girl.
____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
My goal was not to kiss close that night but since the opportunity showed up, I had to thing about a strategy quickly. Yet, I just went for it without thinking. It was congruent. I've been gaming her for a long time. I already tried to kiss her twice. I don't feel like I've been showing some amazing game that night. I just finally got what I worked a long time for.

Random thoughts.
At some point we spoke about her break up with her boyfriend. She told me he was a nice guy and we all know the story here. I actually know the story really well. Here she was, making out with me, a few weeks after breaking up with her boyfriend... That's exactly what must have happened to me. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me and was probably already making out with someone else a few weeks after... So yes... for a second I had a strange feeling... a negative one... an AFC one?

On the Game.
- Determination is king again... I waited for the bus, I went social to kill my AFC phase...
- Managing expectations is simpler than I thought... I just need to be honest.
- Finding a "friend with benefit" is not that hard.

Coming next.
I have no idea what I want with her. Actually, the only thing I'm sure is that I don't want to date her. I guess I could get a "friends with benefit" out of her... but I'm not even sure that I want to have sex with her. She's clearly hot but not my type... But when I think about it, I don't even feel like having sex with someone for now.

Image
I need to think about all that... What do I want from her?

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:46 pm 
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Hey Daniel

I'm new here but I just finished reading through all 41 pages of this thread in 2 days.(woo) I found it funny because sometimes I really felt like i was reading about myself and my own troubles and fears. I'm not the extremely horny guy either and tend to beat around the bush when it comes to moving past the number close to a more intimate situation. Maybe it was because i was too insecure to do so or maybe just because i didn't know what to do or how to progress from there. well, after reading through this journal of yours I now have a much better idea and I am inspired to move forward in my journey through life and further out of my comfort zone. And who knows? Maybe Ill even start my own journal...

Greetings from Cali


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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2011 7:30 pm 
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@spok22

Thank you for following me and I'm pretty impressed you've read the whole journal in 2 days... It's hard even for me! lol. Anyways, I'm glad my journey helped you.

It would be nice to follow your journal if you decide to write one.

AFC Daniel..

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(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2011 11:20 pm 
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@AFCdego.

Sorry man I forgot to answer to your post.

I'm sure I was not showing some "tight game". Yet, you're right about something... The Game changed me a lot, especially when it comes to my behavior in night game. I'm much more at ease!

I'm glad you're going for it. Hope I'll read some of your reports soon.

Daniel..

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(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 12:58 am 
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Quick Update.

Here's a quick update on the situation with German Girl and some thoughts about my laziness this week.

German Girl.
I kiss closed her Friday night and she came to me a couple of days later. We had a conversation through Facebook chat and she told me some unusual stuff.
Quote:
you're always just doing what you want, never talk about yourself but I think that's important to get close to other people, and you're kind of afraid of that.... or I don't know well maybe I'm talking a lot.... but at least I have friends who are sending me messages every week and who are angry if I don't talk to them for two weeks.... I think you're a lonely person... and that is cause you're doing exactly about what you are so proud
I asked her why she was telling me that... she replied that it bothers her. I asked her what she was expecting from me and she answered:
Quote:
I don't expect anything.... but sometimes you are making it hard for me to not just think what the hell about him..... I'm not used to that closed people ...
I don't even know how to comment on that... I guess she's spot on here. I just wanted to post that so you (and I actually) can picture myself better. On another note, I think she really likes/cares about me. I can definitely get a friend with benefits out of it. She's just waiting for me to do the first move... She's been teasing me a lot about her touching me, me touching her...

Lazy AFC week.
This week has been really strange. I can't explain it for now, but I've been really lazy. I should even say AFC. I've spent most of the time by myself avoiding stuff, at home. I skipped classes for no reason and watched more than 10 movies in my bed like a wussy. I didn't even shave myself. What actually scares me the most is that I did not see it coming... It was a slow and steady progress towards my old bad habits. I even surprised myself hating on my ex again. Hopefully, I was able to take a step back. Actually, this is one of the posts that make me realize how much journaling helps me to get a step back and actually laugh things off. I must go back in business NOW. I need to keep in mind that only DISCIPLINE and STRUCTURE will get me somewhere.

I've clearly noticed phases in my journey. After every small successes (# close, kiss close, full close) I usually have an AFC period. The greater the success, the longer the phase and the harder it is for me to recover. The problem is I can't think clearly in these phases, so I end up avoiding everything and thinking that "this is not what I want". I think it's part of my journey though, I need to accept it. On another note, I was able to kiss close even though I was in a really AFC week... That's clearly positive!

Image
I've spent the week watching movies in front of my computer...

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 3:42 am 
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If you read other journals, you'd see that no matter how much they're advised to set tangible & obtainable goals, everybody starts off with something like, "BE ABLE TO GAME AND GET GIRLS."

The thing is . . . most are infatuated with the ability more than what that ability can actually can obtain. And the reality is that most do not even need to learn that ability. Who can't recite a few lines and follow some loose scripts? Most that succeed usually discover that they've always had the ability; it was all nothing but a decision to exercise that ability. . . and that's it.

Yes, you wrote a bunch of things(goals) to kick of your journey. Yes, I believe you meant all those things with all your heart . . . but all of those things combined = "be able to game". So you've made your discovery. Now what? Might be a good time to revise your end goals.


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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:33 pm 
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It's funny you say that Daniel because a lot of your emotions and actions I can see in myself. Truth is when you get the kiss close or f-close you take your foot off the pedal and retreat back into AFC mode.

I mean you've hit the top (f-closed). What more is there left to achieve??

Like, others have mentioned this almost self-sabotaging behaviour is somewhat learned. This is one reason why some top athletes who have all the POTENTIAL to be the best don't actually be the best because of self-sabotage.

If you look back in your thread you can see THIS scattered throughout. Trust me, you COULD have had a lot more full closes.

This is something you need to focus on. I mean, this British girl you f-closed could have easily been a potential long term relationship. Why did you take your foot of the gas after you f-closed her??

Maybe there's something your afraid of? Why are you so closed? Only these questions you can answer yourself. Maybe it is something that is only present at an unconscious level?

Hobbit's post is a good read, especially as you have achieved your goals... Now you need to align them with your needs and when YOU want to be. So like Kasabi said perhaps, now is the time to REVISE your goals.

It's funny, this whole idea of setting a target and following through no matter what, obviously yields results. I mean, it's so damn simple how could it now work??

It's funny how I found this through a PUA forum. I laugh now at the life changing affect pick-up has because I never thought it would. But pick-up have changed my life. I'm more focused and driven then I have ever been.

Of course I had to go to the bottom to realise this. And I'm still waiting to taste the top echelons of success. But I know sticking to a plan and following through will get me there.

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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 11:13 pm 
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@kasabi & @Hobbit.

On my journey and goals.
Indeed. I've discovered that I can attract, kiss and even full close girls. Now I know I can, I can't deny that it changes my journey. Yet, I need to stay modest. I've just kissed 2 girls and managed to have sex with one... If part of my goal was indeed to learn to "be able to game and get girls", I've still lots of things to learn and even more to practice.

Nevertheless, being on such a journey actually made me realize that what I want might be beyond one night stands and pick-up artistry in general. My goal is still to be a man. A confident, successful and dominant one... in my personal and professional lives (the latter will begin when I'll be back in Paris). If I want to achieve this, the key element is to become more consistent in my everyday life. I can't get rid of doubt, insecurities, negative thoughts... they're all a part of me. Yet, I want to be able to take a step back every time they knock on my door and follow through to achieve my goal. How much time have I been wasting because of these? This last week have been a perfect example.

All this is obviously strongly related to what we call inner game here. Yet, a lot of people forget that approaching girls is necessary to improve it (especially since it was something I was formerly afraid of doing). I'm going to keep up on this because I like that and it gives me confidence.

Yet, don't get me wrong: I'm not becoming an "inner game" junkie, I'm not in the "get the inner game to get the girls" pattern. I truly want to improve myself and my life. Girls will be the extra sauce.

On Virtu and Fortuna.
Why staying in a PUA forum? That's a question you can genuinely ask me. I obviously like this community, but amazingly, I found an even better answer to this question in a book from 1532 (only 500 years ago). In The Prince, Niccolò Machiavelli makes a pretty impressive description of how to be a successful leader through two concepts: Virtu & Fortuna.

According to him, Fortuna is a goddess that represents destiny/fatality. In other words, she embodies what we can't control/fight. Yet, it would be wrong to see her as a perfidious goddess. On the contrary, she's the one responsible for honor, wealth, glory and power.

In order to gain Fortuna's favors, the Prince has to seduce her. Since she is a woman, the Prince needs to show a set of masculine qualities (courage, virility, ...) that Machiavelli calls Virtu. Thanks to these personality traits, the Prince is able to seduce Fortuna and have an influence on his destiny (this was HUGE at that time).

Isn't it interesting that in order to succeed, the Prince needs a set of qualities that pretty much defines him as a man? Having the personality traits of a man allows him to be successful, proud, respected... (and even get the girl!). Yet, it's not about changing what the Prince can't change, it's about how he reacts to it: with Virtu. In that sense, the Prince is able to bend the flow of his destiny.

Now let's be clear: I don't believe there's a hot goddess following me anywhere (I prefer mermaids anyway). Nor do I believe there's something up there controlling my destiny. I don't even believe in destiny. Yet, all this makes a lot of sense to me. I do believe that having these qualities will improve my life for the better. Being confident, dominant, self-assured, brave, persistent... will get me somewhere. How many opportunities have I wasted because of doubt? shyness? insecurity? laziness? Should I try to change things I can't change anymore? Cry and complain about it over and over again? Or should I move on with the head up like a man would do?...

Being a man is what will make me successful in my life. There's obviously a lot of work to do. I'll think about a way to organize my journey towards this goal using the insights Hobbit gave me in his last post.

Image
Let's seduce Fortuna...

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 3:23 am 
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I like this thread because of the constant update and progression of Daniel. Keep it up.

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 4:12 am 
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Whenever I hit a sticking point I try to find an answer in your journal. So much of wisdom by so many people in this journal. Your success has been a big factor in motivating me to start my own journal. Keep up the good work my friend :)

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