Hey guys, its been a month and 1/2 since my ex-girlfriend dumped me officially.

At first though she was hesitating, we saw each other a couple times, had sex once, but I fucked up after pressuring her too much and doing other wrong things, which ended in me going to her house about a month ago and laying everything flat, saying that I wouldn't be trouble anymore, she wouldn't hear of me blablabla.
At first she said that it was absolutely not what she wanted (not having me in her life) but that she just didn't want us to be together at the moment, and that I was stupid if I decided to "act dead". I told her it was to respect her decision.

So, it's been a month since we've had a real conversation, I saw her once or twice at parties, but didn't really speak much.

I'm 20 and though I have had woman in my life, this was the first girl to whom I really opened up and with whom I had a two-sided relationship (meaning we both love each other, in the contrary to my usual relationships where the woman loves me and I don't really).
So this is the first girl towards who I have felt true feelings, and I can finally understand people when they say they LOVE someone.

However, what I'm unfortunately feeling as something new is a broken heart.

Man, it is really though to get through a break up when you still love that other person. I mean, I haven't lost my "pua skills" if thats whatever I should call my seduction techniques, but i'm getting weak.
Two nights ago I had a shot at sleeping with this decent (6.5 - only a 6.5 because i'm a "face" person, and her face wasn't that good but her body was smokin' 9/10), she invited me up to her room after we started making out, and I just left her house.
I don't know what the fuck got in to me, it was like I was scared.

Nevertheless, I think about my ex 100,000 times a day, and not only is it hurting me, but its like a disease slowly killing me inside. I'm usually not much of a downer at all but my family and friends have told me that i've been acting like I wasn't alive lately.

Seriously, shit is though. Can anyone give me some advice as to how to move on? I've already put everything that reminded me of her in my closet, but everything seems to remind me of her, from a simple car in the street that looks like hers to a girl with the same sweater.

Advice would be greatly appreciated, especially if people have some material I could read about moving on or whatever. In my short life, and I've lost some people and seen some shit, I have never felt this way before, I feel empty.

i was the same way for quite a while.... the subconsoius thoughts of her that come into your mind simply take time to go away... they wont go away though if you check her fb, check your email 100x times a day, send her messages, basically ANY contact with her or looking at things related to her... in my case, for 4 weeks it was 'over' but i was talking to her, god it sucked and i felt like you did. than it was agreed that we wont talk at all, it was really hard for one week, than it got a little easier... little easier... and now it's hard to even think about her, its like... " meh" , trust me on this, if you can make it like a month without purposely thinking of her, youll be fine!

well I don't really know how you feel because I never got dumped but I think you should go out and meet other girls!
No, I don't just think that, I demand you to go out and meet other girls!!

If you feel like shit and do not want to go out, slap yourself or something.
Just go out and do it! You don't have to game the girls you meet just make genuine conversation

Just came out a long term relationship bro, about 2 months ago now. First serious relationship for me, completely hear where your coming from man.

I broke up with her and believe me I was fine for a week and after that I was a complete mess.

You've got to deal with it force yourself through it. If it hurts carry on. Trust me I've seen my ex getting with other guys in front of me but I'm so busy having a good time to give a fuck. I know deep down it still hurts but you've got to fight on.

Think of all the bad things about her, things you didnt like. Delete her off facebook, delete her number, hide all pictures and shit she brought you. Busy yourself with the gym, arrange nights out with your boys. If your feeling lonely invite a girl over to watch a film.

You will always find someone else out there because remember your a great guy and any woman would be lucky to be in your life.

Chin up bro, you'll recover.

Luca

good post Luca

Thanks for the replies guys, it's been really really tough. Tougher than I thought it would be.

I guess time heals everything but goddamn would I love time to fly right now! I've been studying for my exams in June, and when your studying you think about shit a lot, and its been really really hard to concentrate.
I can't even go out and have fun with my friends because everyone is studying. Tough times.

I split up with my Ex in January i was fine for two weeks then all of a sudden the thoughts came in and i was thinking about her constantly.

The best advice i can give you is Delete her Facebook, Her phone number anything that gives you an opportunity to contact her. I know it sounds harsh but you have to delete her out of your life. Remember the bad things about her don't remember the days that were great remember the arguments etc.

TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS!!! this was the best thing for me as i opened up to some of my best mates and when i was down they where there for me. We went out, we played golf we did anything to get my mind of it..It brings you closer to your mates as you realise how better they can make you feel and how much they can help you and how much you can rely on them. It makes your friendships closer.

Best thing is go out and meet other women!! and you soon realise its called your First love for a reason...There is going to be many more in your life..If you was happy before you met someone you WILL be happy without them.

It was strange with me we split up because she decided she was to young to be in a serious relationship she wanted other lads other experience etc. I ran into her the other week in a club and she broke down in tears on me, saying she's missed me so much she made the wrong decision she still loves me, she cries every week because she lost me etc...and after 3 months of being single i realised i can do so much better, She's my ex for a reason a relationship that doesn't work the first time wont work the 2nd 3rd or 4th.

It was strange because i thought all i wanted was her back..then when i had the opportunity it dawned on me we weren't compatible and theres another girl out there for me.

Hope this helps...I split up with my GF in January and now i have no love, no hate for her i just feel nothing like she is just another girl..its a weird feeling but it makes me happy.

G

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xx

Quoted for truth!

Christmas.

I feel for you. Totally empty, just vacant. Like utterly helpless. Just this weird feeling in your chest and lack of willingness to do anything but sit.

Been here before man. A couple of times. About 2 years before now, my life literally depended on coping with a breakup. There was a point, where I seriously considered doing something stupid. Therefore the advice I am giving you is not an uneducated guess.

Naturally, when you feel empty and so distracted with your thoughts of an ex, you just want to sit and do nothing. Usually, guys KNOW that it's best to keep themselves busy and take their mind off of things, but have a problem acting on it. I hope you don't fall under this category.

I'm going to take my time to explain your addiction, and then I'm going to tell you how to kill it. Read intently.

The thing is, love is literally a drug. It's a stimulus which seriously messes with your nervous system. All of the times you loved about you and your ex. Those moments where you felt utterly consoled by her touch. Those moments released a heap of neurochemicals, which influences your nervous system and thus your feelings. Now this isn't the problem. The PROBLEM, is there is a region in your brain, called the amygdala. This region is unable to differentiate between thoughts and reality. What I mean by this, is that when you imagine something, your amygdala doesn't understand that it isn't really happening. If you even as much as think of a moment about your ex which you loved, your brain releases those lovely chemicals again, eventually forming an addiction. A literal, drug addiction. It's not nice.

So when ever you as much as think of the girl, you continue your addiction. Overcoming this is harder than a class A drug - just because with drugs you have the option to say no. However, if you try to tell your mind not to think of the time when you fucked her with an inch of her life, your mind instantly brings up those thoughts.

I don't know if you are familiar with this notion, but try not to think of the colour purple. It's impossible - because you have to process what not to think about, to not think about it. Think about that.

What I am saying is, you have no control over your thoughts. No conscious control anyway.

However. I have a solution for you. Like heroin, overcoming love is dependent on two main factors.

1. The immediate factor is how long you let those neurochemicals fire in your mind for. After a while, your mind will be satisfied without thoughts
of her. Put down the needle, stop thinking about her. However, as we have established, it isn't easy to stop thinking about someone just like that. STAY BUSY. Distract your conscious mind. Go out with friends, go out by yourself, give yourself a task or increase your work hours if thats what you enjoy.

IMPORTANT - Do NOT talk to her. Cut her completely loose. If you truly want this girl out of your head, you will let go of photos, gifts and relevant objects for example. You want NOTHING around which will trigger your thoughts of her. This may be hard, I understand, as you still want her. But do you really want to keep this up? Not a nice feeling. Deep down you know there are 1000's of women which are better. You're just addicted to this one.

MOST IMPORTANTLY - If you are, STOP WANKING ABOUT HER. No, I am NOT joking. When I split up with my ex, I felt more turned on by wanking about her than i did about going on redtube and banging one out. Why? Because I needed a hit of the neurochemicals. Once you have finished the wank and conk out with your eyes half closed, the oxytocin running through your brain will build more need next time. Your amygdala does not understand the difference between normal sex with her, and wild and hot sex which you fantasise about when wanking.

2. When giving up heroin, the majority of the users come clean, but then go straight back to the same social circle and end up with the needle again. You can't expect to expose yourself to influences which limit you getting over her and still feel fine. If you two share the same social circle, find new friends. Don't go out fucking loads of girls, its not the answer. Look for a new short term attachment figure. Someone you can connect to. Who knows, it may lead to something special.

I wish you the best of luck, just remember no girl is ever worth your self-worth. You are the most important thing you own, and no girl is worth losing yourself for. If you ever want to chat on pm or chat just inbox me man. Good luck.

Didn't see this. I understand it must be hard to stay focused on learning. I had the exact same thing with my psych exams 2 years ago!!! I can't help you distract yourself from her socially, but I can help your learning from being hidered by distraction of her. I have a file to send you on how to remember a tonne of information extremely effectively, without much work. It's derren brown's finest. pm me your msn address if you want the file. I sent madals it, you can ask him what he thinks of it if you wish.

As everyone else said. Delete her number, block her on facebook, start working out, try to get extra hours at work, ignore her if she texts you because it's not what it seems, and meet other people. I went through this crap with my ex. I actually bought a few E books to learn how to get ex girlfriends back. I now laugh at myself for being such a tool. You two didn't work for a reason.

I've dealt with several bouts of oneitis you can read about in my AFC > PUA Journal and they are hard as hell. I know reading this you're feeling pretty shitty as if no one in the world can understand or give you anything that will cheer you up.

Despite falling for a few number of girls (recently too in fact), I have to say the honest 'cure' is simply to remain positive and force yourself to resume life and start meeting/being fun with other girls.

Recently in fact, a girl I had only just started seeing fucked around with me and stopped communication, after previously telling me what a great summer she had planned for us, and it instantly felt like my heart was under a vice. I had even changed my plans subtly so that I could spend more time with her.

After leaving her a text with an open invitation to re-initiate if she wished, I started hitting clubs again and getting results with other girls. After the very first IOIs flowed in, my one-itis was recovering and a few grinds/kisses later, my mind was TOTALLY off the first girl.

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My PUA Journey from AFC to PUA

Quickly dude!!!! GFTOW(Go find/fuck ten other women) I know its the last thing on your mind but it is the easiest way for your body and mind to escape the grieving cycle

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Social interactions and fun, that's why I'm here.

Thumbs up to this:
Think of all the bad things about her, things you didnt like

Also, do this: Take all those things out of the closet which remind you of her and burn them all without mercy. I was in your position 2 months ago. I kept all the reminders of her in a box in my house. It was like having a ghost living in my house. When I burnt everything I felt relieved, and safe in my own home. Trust me you will feel better once you get rid of everything which reminds you of her.

Statistically speaking, it is extremely likely that you find another girl either as good a for you, or even better. Especially if you improve you pua skills further by sarging and getting to know people better in general.

Good luck and take care.

My girlfriend of 2 and a half years left me for my best friend. She then cheated on him. I could not even think of other girls, but I got over this girl very quickly(2 days). At first it was horrible, but then i got a lot better all of a sudden. You need not to forget about her, but to realize you had good times that made you who you are. You do understand there are thousands of women who live in your area right?
Once i realized there were much better girls than this girl, I was 100% okay. I even helped her with my best friend lol... you need to have some sort of mini epiphany. Seeing her everyday freshman year in college did not help either, but i got over it