| Did anyone ever experienced anything like this?
A deserted bus stop in the middle of nowhere. No one to be seen, but one girl apparently waiting for a bus there, reading some papers.
I looked her up and down. I knew immediataly she is going to be a bitch. She was at least a 9.
I never EVER opened a girl before..
Not to say a HB9 that looked bitchy all around! I tried to think of an opener but I was unable to think of anything before I reached her so I chickened out.. I went past her to the bus timetable. When I looked at it it was partly torn, which I already knew of course, cos' I use the bus quite a lot.
All of a sudden I felt that some weird dude inside me took complete control of my body and started talking to the girl !!! The motherfucker started using my mouth and my body as if it belonged to him!
I'd swear on my life it wasn't me doing the talking!
The dude said "Hey, don't you know when the bus is coming? The time table is torn down.."
"Damn!", I thought. "Fuck you, you bastard!" What kind of idiot will use a lame opener like this on a HB9! What an IDIOT!
And just as I was about to get really pissed off at this dude the real shock came !
The girl smiled at me and said "Yeah, but the bus should be here in about 3 minutes." she smiled again and added "But it sometimes comes as it wants, not as the timetable commands", followed by YET another smile.
I replied something, completely stunned.
WTF has just happend? The bitchy girl was actually NICE TO ME?! I mean like really NICE and friendly! I would have expected anything from ignorance, to some sort of "fuck off" response, but I wouldn't expect this!
I stood there a couple of seconds, completelly bewildered. Before she could start reading her papers again, the Dude inside me took over once more.
And guess what a smart topic did the stupid motherfucker came up with!
WEATHER!
Yes right, talk about Weather! The most boring topic on the Earth and all it's neigbouring planets! I was helplessly watching myself, as if in a dream, saying to this girl:
"Look at this beautiful weather! Saturday and Sunday all ugly as shit of course, but the moment the weekend is gone, look!" and my hand pointed out over to the blue sky.
The girl smiled and said something back. My mouth kept moving! I was talking about the weather, something so stupid that I don't even dare to repeat it here. It was so stupid that no one could possibly find it funny!
The girl did.
I couldnt't believe my eyes and my ears.
She was genuinly laughing at probably the worst joke in the history of humor!
The dude continued his barrage of words!
"Preparing for school, are you?" I said looking at her papers.
"Yeah, I should have finished reading it long time ago.", she said.
"Well, apparently I'm distracting you."
"Oh no, not at all. It's not that important really..", her response immediately followed by the brightest smile I've seen in a fortnight!
I was slowly starting to regain myself.
But lo and behold! "My dude" was coming up with next topic! It was going to be brilliant. I just knew it..
This time the topic was "Those new houses standing behind us".
This dude is an complete asshole. Now I know it for sure. Can't he come up with something just a little more interesting? That little fucker is doing it on purpose!
But the girl actually did like the topic, and in fact I could feel she was trying to keep the conversation up! What?! SHE WAS TRYING ??
Indeed. In fact I noticed that she no longer held her papers in front of her like some sort of shield but rather by her side, and she also turned to almost completely face me now.
Around this point I finally regained control of my own body and was about to start my "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" opener combined with DHV story that once happened to me in a club.
Unfortunately, the damned bus just arrived. I thanked the driver with a stare that he could possibly sue me for, the girl went in and there joined her girlfriend from school. The bus was full so I sat where I could, quite a distance from them. As she was getting off the bus two stops later, she looked at me one last time, gave me a sort of sad, apologetic smile and was gone..
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