Ok, I am going to be really honest here. Recently I needed to have some medication adjustments. So my doctor recommended I stay inpatient at the hospital so they can evaluate any potential side effects.

The inpatient units also hold people that are detoxing from drugs and alcohol. After I was their for 2 days, a 20 year old girl comes in kicking dope. The first day, she was bed-ridden but it got interesting after the 2nd day.

She almost became immediately attached to me. Flirting with me in the most noticeable ways. The longer we were there the less subtle her comments were.

This girl basically became putty in my hands. Every little thing I did she would give me a big smile. Basically the only thing that prevented me from sleeping with her was the around the clock staff that was watching us.

The last day we were playing a card game and I asked her to get me a piece of paper and a pen. She started walking away...then I said "number". She turned around and gave me her number so fast, it was a blur.

A little bit latter, she gave me a hug and I told her give me a kiss...which she did.

Anyways, I left the hospital. She was supposed to get discharged that day at 1pm. Around 6pm I sent her a text joking about if she made it out of the hospital.

A day and a half go by. < not a good sign!

She then sends me a text which reads like:

"I dont want hurt your feelings but this is crazy. You don't try to get with someone you met at X hospital. I shouldn't even get involved with any guy. Don't bother replying because i wont read or respond to it."

Another day passes and I send:

"That's a shame. Your loss"

I don't want to fall into one-itis but I want to give this girl one more shot before I abandon all hope with her. I was thinking about waiting a week or so and calling (not texting) her and asking her to met me for a quick (read: cheap) bite to eat and talk (read: game) to her.

Any advice?

I say let it go... No need to get into the reasons why. She already told you

I'll be really honest with you. I don't understand people who ask questions about getting involved in any way with people they already know have major baggage.

She pretty much laid it right out there for you, but you don't want to listen. She is actually the logical one here. You don't get involved with people you meet in a psychiatric hospital.

Also, I don't care how hot she is. Knowing a girl is a heroin addict going in is enough to send me packing. That's a huge red flag.

what you replied was harsh actually...

you could've understand or dig deeper where she is coming from

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I don't think my post was cruel or unkind in any way. I hope this girl gets the help she needs along with every other drug addict. If my post is too frank or curt for you possibly you've never dated a drug addict. I have known people and had friends that have gone down that road and it never ended well. Dating is harsh enough business with all the posers, liars, and users that fill the dating pool. Add hard drugs especially addicts into the mix and it only gets worse. He should be thankful he found out sooner.

Why do I need to dig any deeper than knowing she detoxed from heroin in a psychiatric unit? I'm not trying to get to the bottom of her problems or play psychiatrist here. What more do I need to know to give the guy advice that's thinking of taking her out on a date?

Guys, I have already thought about the fact that she is an addict. Personally, I think her good qualities far outweigh even this large red flag. I am not looking to marry this girl, I just think she is exciting to be around.

It wont hurt to try one more time to see if I can salvage this before I call it quits. I could use some help in piquing her interest again.

Have you thought about all the implications of dating this girl? If she gets attached to you, you'll end up being responsible for her. Have you ever gone through a detox with a heroin addict? It's not pretty. Have you thought about other implications of her drug addiction (read sharing needles, HIV, HEP C etc)? I don't think there can be anything that outweighs this. She even told you herself, a smart girl.
I know you shared your own reality when you were in a hospital, but it's a utopian situation and now that you're out in the real world, it can never be even similar. If you let this one go, you'll do yourself a big favor, but more importantly, you'll do her a big favor too. It's obvious you don't wanna hear this kind of advice, but give it a week of thought before you do anything and really think about all of this, I'm sure you'll come to realize it's better for you to let this one go. Good luck!

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

No good qualities outweigh the possible legal, medical, and financial problems you could find yourself in should you get involved with this girl. Just think about it. The other poster listed some. How do you know you wouldn't change your feelings about her (i.e. marriage) if you get involved?

You tell us that you're in a psychiatric hospital getting your meds adjusted. You have ignored the addicts own good advice about getting hooked up with her. I'll try to be sensitive to this, and I'm not a psychiatrist, but I know enough. The fact that you think there's something to salvage here and you want to 'pique' the interest of an addict who's already pretty much shot you down says that you have issues as well.

I think he was refering to the "Shame on you, its your loss" text message.
That was totally selfish.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

Honestly, how much can you get to know her in such a situation?

Don't try to flatter yourself man, you get to know her in a very complicate situation and I don't think, for what you told us, that you spent enough time to start seeing her "good qualities".

Also, she is no position of having a healthy relationship right now, why would you be so selfish and ask her for what she cannot give?

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@Txacoli:

I have thought about the medical, legal issues as well. I can also see your point about this relationship being in a controlled environment (hospital).

@Jabmaster:

I kinda take offense to your comment that I am mentally unstable. You make it appear that I am some schizophrenic. I have had some bad anxiety attacks and the meds the doctors recommended have some dangerous side effects that they wanted to monitor. I don't think the year is 2020 and I am certainly not Wilt Chamberlain.

Although I can see your point about being selfish.

My text reply read "That's a shame. your loss" Meaning: "its a shame that you made that decision. I guess it is your loss".

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Lastly, I do think she is a good person that has just made bad choices (we all have!). I think it would just be a shame if we lost touch and didn't communicate. I enjoyed talking to her and I would hate for that to end. Hell...I would take just being friends with her.

All I really want to do is open the line of communication back up so that I don't lose touch with her.

I am willing to walk away from this, but I feel like I just gave up without a fight.

I never said you were mentally unstable.

Still your reply could have been delivered in a much less harsh way, I understand that you feel frustrated but she is not going through a nice situation.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

Having issues doesn't equate to being mentally unstable or being a schizophrenic when making sound decisions that could negatively impact your life.


P.S. I accidentally gave you a negative vote as I was playing around with the reputation system. I didn't know I couldn't remove it. I'll try to give you points back later.

Ok, I am not really concerned with the whole "mentally stable vs issues" issue. That really isn't the point of this thread.

I would like to be able to stay in contact with her, how should I go about doing that?

Should I just wait like a month and send a text that says "Hey"?

Ok, mental issues and issue issues aside. The girl told you that it was wrong for her to give you her number. She asked you not to contact her again. That in itself is a good enough reason not to contact her again.

Regardless of what advice you're given, you're gonna do what you want. Here's the deal though. Say you didn't meet her at an institution. Say you met her at a bar. You game her and she gives you the number. You text and she says that her giving her number to you was a mistake and not to contact her again. Do you still contact her? If you do, would you not come across as needy? Do yourself a favor and leave it be.