It does seem like I have included my GOALS and the MEANS TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS in the same list. I was probably focusing more on the process than the goal itself. Thank you kasabi and Hobbit for pointing it out. Actually a week back I had a goal of doing 30 number closes in one year but it seemed easy so I increased it to 40 when I was writing my list and now 40 doesn't look like a distant goal either!

@ kasabi : Yes, I will probably find a girlfriend way before I hit the target of 400 approaches if I follow through, that thought did occur to me too .

Being a very honest and sincere guy I will never cheat on my girlfriend. But like I mentioned on the day I started the journal, having as many options as possible is still my Ultimate Goal. When I come across someone who has all the qualities in my checklist and more, then I should be able to do all the right things and hook her. I want to have options so that I don't get too needy or turn into a wuss. I want to have the courage to walk out of the relationship if I see something happening that I am not ready to tolerate. I have to continue to sharpen my skills, keep improving and practicing so that I can create options at will, whenever and wherever. If nothing else then I would at least expand my circle of hot and sexy female friends

So as of now I will stick to number 1, 2, 12 and 14 and from my list that are

I) Do 400 approaches. Get as many number closes as possible. Push for an instant date whenever there is scope.
II) Be able to approach any girl confidently anywhere – streets, malls, parks.
III) Learn to connect on a deeper level by establishing authority in their world (understanding where they are coming from and making them feel understood).
IV) Get really good at creating attraction and trust with girls during approach.
V) Follow through with the phone numbers.



Day Before Yesterday

I was out for a little shopping and opened one set of 3 girls on my way back. The girl whom I opened was really cute and receptive, and above all she was totally into me. But one of the girls acted bitchy. Actually she got rude after I tried to tease her a bit(Well, it was more of a neg actually). I don’t know if there is any lesson to be learned from this. I will definitely continue with my teasing until I have a large sample of data to analyze, and make any adjustment to my methods. I should have tried to isolate the target and number closed her. I have been doing fairly good with lone wolves but I am struggling with sets that have multiple girls. I have been thinking that if I show interest in one girl then the others would either get jealous and cockblock me or get protective of their friend and try to ‘save’ her by trying to take her away from me. I might be wrong and this might just be an assumption so what I will do from next time is talk mainly to the target and ask the set if I can borrow their friend for a minute just to talk to her. This might be easy if there are 3 or more girls in the set, but would be a little difficult and awkward if there are 2 girls.



Yesterday

Two more number closes yesterday. I number closed the second girl at a bakery and for once I felt like a PUA!! No approach anxiety, no hesitation, it was smooth as silk!! Haha… The approach anxiety is probably not gone entirely but I have managed to reduce it to a minimum level.

Moving on to the story, I went to a bakery and there was this really sweet girl buying some bread. I ordered a pastry and when the guy at the counter was gone to fetch the order. I softly asked her, somewhat like a whisper “Do these guys sell good stuff here?” (It was in local language so I am not sure I have translated it correctly). And the whisper-like question made sure that we were instantly in a world of our own! We had a very good conversation and I number closed her. In fact she was so happy that I asked for her number. And would have probably gone home and cried buckets if I hadn’t …lol… just joking, or may be not!! Again there were guys starting at us constantly wondering WTF is happening. This still makes me a little uncomfortable but I am learning to live with it.

I realised yesterday that I am starting to read the subtle approach invitation cues quite well


Regards
Grand Master.

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You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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Update on the girl I went on a date with - She messaged me just now and we are meeting tomorrow for one last time. Lets see how far I can push.

Started to call and text the numbers. And it is becoming really difficult to keep a track of whats going on with which girl . Considering the fact that it is going to be even more difficult in the future I have started maintaining a tracker

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You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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@Grandmaster:

II) You are already 'able' to approach so if you want to set these things as goals, then consider creating quantifiable goals. Example: 2 street approaches a week, go to the mall once a week, go to the park once a week, etc . . .

III) During an initial meeting, all you can really do is establish that the 'possibilities' are there; you have an interesting and varied knowledge base, you have a sense of humor, and you're interested in learning about her and have the ability to understand her. That's about it. Lay these things out on the table and it will be she, who wants to 'connect' with you. . . follow through . . .

IV) It seems you've been doing well with this lately.

@Hobbit, Spreadsheet to manage chicks? You are such a pu nerd! However, if I were to do this, I would also keep track of who contacted you, when, and with brief notes of conversations and how you met them. Then I'd probably merge this data into a calendar so you know when you're going where with whom.

Yes. Things, as far as behavioural and emotional are concerned, are changing so fast that it seems like I have to set and chase measurable/quantifiable goals. I need to stand back and spend some time contemplating.
You are damn right at that .




Today I had an unbelievable day. I don’t even have words to describe it. Disappointment and exhilaration within a period of 40 minutes. I was out with the girl from facebook, I had plans for about one to one and half hours but she was acting aloof and kept texting, then she got a few calls and kept talking on the phone. Tried kino but she kept moving away and repelled all my advances, not even any innocent touching. So I got really turned off. I didn’t really want to waste my time on her and decided to cut it short. In about 20 minutes I called it off with “I have to meet a friend, we should go” …I probably wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have 6 phone numbers already!! Just before she was leaving she said “I am sorry to have ruined your evening” ... I replied “Ya you should be” I said that in a playful and cocky way and not like a hurt AFC(Ya I know the difference now...haha). I called a cab for her and she asked me if I want to be dropped at my place as my house is on the way to her place. But I was not really in a mood to go home so early!! And for some reason I told her out of nowhere “I will stay back, she is coming here to meet me”. I had no idea what I was talking about and why I said that!! No one was coming to meet me. May be I was just trying to make her feel jealous, may be I just wanted to sarge a little or may be both. She asked “Blind Date?” …I told her smiling “You go away”. Thereafter she was gone.

And then it happened...

I went to a bookstore in the same building and saw a cutie really engrossed in a book. She was soberly dressed and looked very simple yet elegant, just my type. I opened her “Hey what are you reading?” and within 10 minutes I was on my first instant date ever, having coffee at the most amazing place in the city with a cutie I just picked up. The irony? I took her to the same place where I took the facebook girl and had some amazing conversation and fun time just like I wanted to do with the previous one!! Then she had to leave after about half an hour because she didn’t want to miss the last bus to her place which is quite far and she was already late, even though she didn’t feel like leaving because she loved the place and her companion . I wanted to walk with her to the bus stop. But she was so late that we had to almost run to the bus stop!! It was crazy as fuck!! A little bit about the place – It’s an open air rooftop restaurant on the terrace of a very tall building and you can see almost the entire city from there. There are always many couples sitting all around holding hands, caressing. And that makes the venue highly suited to my amorous intentions...haha. Besides, I love heights! I teased her a little bit and made her laugh but there was hardly any kino, just handshakes because I didn’t want to scare her on our first date!! Needless to say, I took her number!! Her phone was out of battery so she couldn’t take my number but asked me to send a message so that she would get my number when she switches on her phone at home. But I haven’t sent her a message yet and so she doesn’t have my number. So I am thinking that I will call her or message her tomorrow and let her keep wondering about ‘the mystery man’ in the mean time!!

I guess this girl was the ‘SHE’ I talked about to the facebook girl, even though I was completely unaware of her existence till then.
Divine intervention, if you will .


@kasabi : Remember you told me in my 'how to ask for a phone number' thread "Try this enough times and you won't know what to do with all those numbers"? Well, that's somewhat a reality now .

_________________
You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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What I need to learn/do to take my game to the next level.

Urgent
I have started to line up dates with the number closes. So my immediate objective is to get good at escalating and to make the girl see me as a potential romantic and sexual partner, not just as an interesting guy. Also connecting with her on an emotional level and understanding her world at the same time. I read a number of posts about that and got some very good ideas. But for now I will focus more on push-pull, giving mixed signals and holding seductive eye contact. I have to at least keep pushing my comfort zone by a little every time. How do I know that I am getting good at escalating? I will know when I get my first kiss close .

Important
Keep approaching sets and continue number closing at every opportunity. Get the instant dates.

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You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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Wow, good job!
^This is the most important thing . . . A guy can get carried away and get giddy with # closes and just continue to open, open, open. I wasn't kidding about putting a dent on your # close goals in a week. I think I've done 40 or 50 # closes in a long weekend a few times. But this is ridiculous. . . at best, you can be pen pals with 90% of them.
As soon as you meet her for a date, put your hands out palms faced up and she will always grab them. Once she does, pull her towards you and give her a peck on the cheek(even if she pulls away a bit) and compliment how nice she looks as if this was the most natural thing in the World to you. Then just drop them and go about having fun. Now, no matter what you do, she's thinking, thinking, thinking. . . this is a good thing. And whenever you find the chance to hold hands, do it. Crossing the road, reading her palm, checking out her nails, etc . . . (These are the outer rings . . . ) When she complies, you're all set. Have fun . . .

Okay, so you asked me if I would take a sneek peak at your journal and your progress, so here I am.

I've found there to be a lot of points that actually refer to nothingness but skill. What is your objective throughout this journey? If you are:

A) Trying to get as many women as possible
- Then you're on the correct track by closing a lot of numbers & actually trying or setting up day 2's. A good tip by managing the girls in your phonebook is not by giving them their names as display name but nickname them. Put their real name in another record field of the same number card. This way you can easily jog up memories. Remember a name is just a name - if you can associate it with a cute smile, or a specific thing they wear or how they giggle.. you got points for creativity.

To actually keep continueing on this point, being able to nickname a girl can have a few advantes:
- You can create a specific treat about this girl in which case if she asks how you got to her nickname - you can clarify it with something like:
"Well, when I first saw you, you were ..." something like that - that way she'll know you have a good memory, you are creative and also - it shows that you remember how she was the first day you met.
- It also keeps you from messing girls up way too often. I for example had 7 "Evelien" in my phone book. Couldn't keep track.. so I started with the nicknames.

However the downside is that when you nickname a girl, they CAN consider this as objectifying them.. so watch out with that!

B) If you are however trying to find a girlfriend with this
- You can be on a good track but when you got to a point that it becomes serious with that girl, watch out what you are doing with the other girls. I don't know how large the city is - but where I live.. news gets around fast!

and C) You want to grow as a person
- Then your goals that you setted are NOT completely relative to the cause. Some of the goals that you stated in your revised post can get you results in this goal - however most of them aren't related to growth or completement that is for yourself.

Think about it my friend.

Good luck & HAVE FUN!

≠ LD

_________________
Founder & coach at Dance 2 Seduce -- contact me for more information.

FREE coaching advice on Fridays from 22PM to 23PM at the MPUA chatroom.

Thanks. I will try this out.

_________________
You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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That's one of the things I do when I am in the chat room, get good people to check out my threads . So thanks for checking out my journal!


Good points.

B) I need not worry about that because the population of the city where I stay runs into millions

C) This is an interesting point you have raised. However, what I feel is that the idea of GROWTH in certain aspects of life is different to different people, based on what they want. I would rather have a fulfilling relationship than get a certain number of notches on my belt

_________________
You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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So then my next question would be:

What do YOU understand under the concept of growth for YOURSELF?

What you do need to realise really good, you cannot have a relationship if you have no growth patterns - more into detail:
If you haven't figured out who you are, what you wish to achieve, where you stand and being stable.. then the relationship you seek will not be furfulling.. it would only be a means of temporary happiness.. not of longterm.

Think about it GM.

Have fun!

≠ LD

_________________
Founder & coach at Dance 2 Seduce -- contact me for more information.

FREE coaching advice on Fridays from 22PM to 23PM at the MPUA chatroom.

Even though I have a picture of what an ideal fulfilling relationship would look like but I haven't really put much thought into it. I do have to think about it more deeply in terms of growth

_________________
You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
*******************************************************

So most of the numbers turned out flaky. Some are ‘busy’, some are ‘going out of town for a few days’. The instant date girl and the girl at the bakery looked solid number closes but even they are delaying the Day2. The hottest girl I ever approached on the street didn’t even return my sms or calls. I had messaged her two days after we met asking normal question like “How was your weekend in the new city? PS: I am the cute guy from Saturday evening whom you didn’t help! ”. Then I called her again 3 days later. No answer again. I will follow up with her in a week or so. I am yet to call 2 of the numbers for a date, even though I have exchanged messages with them. Sent text to one girl asking about something related to our conversation. She asked " hey how are you? blalblabla.. " . I replied "I am still as cute as you as saw me last time!".. Then she sends "Good Night ." .lol.
My mode of operation is to send a text in a couple of days after the number close just to put them at ease and remind them about me. And then I call them for a meet up in another one or two days.

In the mean time...

Yesterday

Saw a set of two(1 UG + 1 HB) . Opened the cute girl by asking directions, but in no time two guys jumped in and I later realized that the guys were with the girls. May be the guys thought I was troubling them or something. Anyway, I ejected.



Today

I was out on the street for a little bit of shopping and a HB who was walking really fast overtook me from behind and was about 20 meters ahead of me in a flash. She had a delicious and voluptuous body so I really wanted to open her but she was almost running!! But as luck would have it, she stopped at the signal and I opened her from over the shoulder by asking for directions. She said she was going in the same direction and offered me to show the place! A little bit of chitchat on the way and then in 2 minutes we are at the place that I was ‘searching’. She was in a hurry so I didn’t have the time to seed a future meeting. I just gave her my number and took hers. Will text her in a day or two.

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It may be too early to reach any conclusion but I am just starting to feel that a number close doesn’t mean much unless it is backed up by some solid game(like sparking attraction through push-pull, creating a connection, qualifying etc... basically spiking her emotions) so that she is eager to meet another time.

My strike rate with 1 HB sets, as far as number closing is concerned, has been good lately. If the circumstances allow then I am going to push for instant date with every lonewolf I open and not just stop at number close. That way I will get enough time to use some Pick Up material and she would be more willing to see me again. If an instant date doesn't happen then I would have to fix the DATE AND TIME along with the place for a future meet to reduce flaking rate.

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You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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"I am the cute guy . . ." is a digging and prying for a personal relationship; try to avoid this. Get your numbers with specific events in mind and focus your text/phone conversations on those events.

It doesn't seem as if you're in an environment where strangers often approach girls to gain friendships/relationships. In an environment like that, there are usually some stereotypes that are applied to people who do this. You're feeding those stereotypes by using all the silly one liners. It's simple math, "creep value" < "fun value" = Compliance.
Another whammy . . . Have some patience, relax. You do not need a verbal confirmation for your outer appearance or her level of attraction for you. COMING OUT TO SEE YOU is confirmation for all these things. Focus on the event in a simple matter of fact way; it's just a simple outing for a fun event and that's it. Once you meet one on one, have fun and you can start escalating.
Do it sooner and if you really want to put her at ease, lose the prying and focus on fun.

*There is a group of guys who will swear by 'going direct'. If you read their messages enough, you will see how/why this works. It has a lot to do with who they are, who their targets are, and their environment. Continue what you've been doing. You'll figure it out.

**Not all flakes are the same. The girls you mention are just nervous about seeing a guy they just met on the street. They're merely reflecting your own nervousness. Writing is the one form of communication that allows for many revisions. Take advantage of that and put some thoughts into projecting some confidence and peace.

By the way, let's try to stay on topic with "pick up". At least a handful of guys here have some marginal understanding for basic pick up concepts. Reading self prescribed exercises for cliche' identity searches are comical. Ha ha ha. On the other hand, reading attempts to suggest misunderstandings to others is disturbingly comical.

I was out to have my morning tea. Opened a 2 set(1 HB +1 UG) with my Girls-Hostel Opener and this time I seamlessly transitioned into a normal conversation. I felt a little anxiety before opening but once we started talking I was totally normal. We had a good 5 minutes conversation. The target HB appeared to be very shy and spoke hardly more than 2 or 3 words and just smiled once when I made a joke. My repeated attempts to involve her in the conversation failed. It felt awkward to get the HB’s number because we hardly interacted. I could have easily number closed the UG but I didn’t want to send the wrong message. I was not really interested in her. They stay in my neighborhood so I might just see them again and if that happens then my focus would be on the HB right from the start.

I had gone to my local supermarket and saw a very cute girl who was lost in her own world. She had a notebook and a pen in one hand and she was drawing some lines on the surface of a large rice bucket with the index her finger of her right hand. lol. So I opened her with a smile “ Are you trying to draw your face there?” She laughed! So it turns out that she was doing some survey and is in the city for a couple of months. I asked for her number, and she gave me 2.lol. One number for this city and the other number for the city where she actually stays. We had a nice conversation. I was talking smoothly, but when I lifted my phone to take her number I noticed that my hand was a little shaky, me be out of a nervousness. I forgot to fix the date and time for the future meet up. Damn. Next time. I have been coming to this local supermarket of mine for the last four years. Every time I would go there, some cute girls would always be present there, walking around, shopping. And I have always wanted to talk to them and number close them and finally I did it

I got my first number close during my 12th approach and now I have 10 numbers from 30 approaches including two number closes in my office. I built massive compliance with one of the girls in my office but it turns out that she is in a relationship. She is not that beautiful anyway, so I would rather use her as my pivot to get her friends

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Very true. Even I have been thinking along similar lines for the last few days. Most theories of PU that are taught by the BIG companies in the west don’t really apply to girls in this part of the world.

Their assumption: A hot girl who is in her early 20s has already been approached by 100s of guys who use the same kind of pick up line and has a similar attitude and approach. So a PUA has to be different.

Reality: A girl who is in her early 20s here has probably not been approached more than 4 to 5 times in her life by a complete stranger, and still I might be overestimating. And probably no one asked for their phone numbers!! This is not based on assumption. I have actually asked some of my female friends who are in their early to mid 20s if they have ever been approached by a complete stranger on the street or mall or supermarket or anywhere and if they have been approached then how many times has it happened? Most of them answered “None”. Not a single guy has even approached them, forget about asking for phone numbers. So my realization here is that if I open the girl(s) and get her phone number then I am already different. I don’t need to send any stupid text message to show them that I am different!! Lesson learned the hard way

I just have to make them feel comfortable and ease them into the day2.


*Even I strongly believe that for a newbie, going direct is like gambling. And most of the time its going to be a miss rather than a hit. He wouldn’t be congruent with what he is saying and by the time he faces his 25th rejection in a row(some of them rude), his confidence would hit rock bottom and he would be ready to give up on Pick Up. I believe when starting out with any venture, some kind of success no matter how small, is very important to keep the motivation level high. There is no valour in using a direct opener. Ultimately what matters is the result and not the process.

Now I am not saying that I would never go direct. But there is a time and place for everything. I would do it when I have enough PU success and experience behind me and it wouldn’t matter if I lose one set. I could just take it or leave it. I would do it when the circumstances are conducive to a direct opening and the girl is giving strong signals that she wants to be approached. Then there may not be any point in beating about the bush.

Most experienced PUAs may say “Don’t give a fuck” if you get rejected. But it is easier said than done for someone who is just starting out, and who doesn’t have much success to fall back on to make himself believe that he is good and this one set that didn’t go well is just an aberration.

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You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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