I'll make this quick. My issue is on a mental level, I've got plenty of talent in a wide variety of activities, sports, subjects, etc but struggle to perform better than average. I strongly believe my limiting mind is stopping me from achieving greatness. How do I silence it and actually exceed expectations?

The only way to get better is to practice right? Well there is your answer. And giving yourself other things to think about really helps too. Try and make a goal to do something and don't stop until you do. Distraction can be used in pickup and life, so use it, if it works on chicks, it will work on you.

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Social interactions and fun, that's why I'm here.

We all have this problem.

I've tried different things and I can recommend affirmations (corry sky is great), nlp (I'm still new in this but anchoring is amazing), hypnosis (i like wendi friesen) and one weird thing called tapping (try magnus tapping on youtube).

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I have to return some videotapes...

Constantly remind yourself you literally have nothing to lose. If you tell yourself it enough, you will believe it and in turn your body language will display confidence because you seem not to care and in a positive circle you will end up getting better results.
Confidence is key

If you've got plenty of talent across a wide range, then that's something to focus on as a positive. Forget about 'struggling to be better than average.' Most people in life have to deal with that. The ones that don't struggle in one area will find they struggle in another.

Ignore the things that don't help you. Greatness is something that comes from a lifetime of effort. It doesn't suddenly manifest itself one day unless you've already spent many days overcoming intertia and building momentum. Life is a succession of moments-- focus on this one, right here, right now, and be engaged-- in the next moment you will have incrementally improved. Add up enough of these tiny increments... well, there's your greatness.

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"He will win who, having prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared." -Sun Tzu

Thanks for the feedback guys. I understand your concept of incremental gains and practicing. Let me put it another way with an example that happened to me this weekend. I was playing tennis with a buddy and I was kicking his ass while we were rallying. However, as soon as we started a game and started counting, I made all the mistakes and couldn't play the same way while we were playing for fun. I realize this is a mental issue where I'm so focused on the end result: winning. I notice I'm not having fun anymore, I'm not joking around as I was before, I was so focused on winning that I wasn't playing the same way. I need some help with this because it happens in many other areas of my life.

I have a similar issue.. I can approach and open a female, talk to her for hours, but the MINUTE i think "i'm not good enough" or "she must think i'm a dork", etc, is the same moment that i fall-flat in performance.

Think of it like this: Your mind (could be) in a negative loop, where it's constantly feeding destructive thoughts, kind of like a tree hitting a dam. Eventually, the trees start chipping away at the dam, putting stress on the concrete.. It's the same concept of what these "inner self-destructive thoughts" are doing to your life.. until eventually, the dam breaks and you can no longer maintain what you were meant to do (and that you WERE doing) before.

So what's some things that can help? Feed yourself positive thoughts.. Like when you notice how your trying to "hurry up for that cashier, cause you feel in the way".. Then slow down and start a conversation with him.. When you are walking next to an HB10 and feel like you should say hi then storm off, stop dead in your tracks and look at her astonished.. The purpose is not to "get you to do more than you are".. It's to "reverse the destructive habit you have formed"... Then once you have forced your mind to realize that you are a living breathing human too, then you will have conquered your thoughts. The next step would just be to add a new habit to seal-the-deal.. So instead of feeding yourself reversal-mindsets you would then add positive-mindsets.. Thinking things like: "Wow this guy looks like he's in a rush, maybe he feels inferior to me, ehh i guess i could start a conversation - maybe that would brighten his day"

That's the way i've overcome them. And honestly - it really blew me away when i realized just how self-destructing i was being.. At first i was in complete denial, until i actually spent the time to focus on how i feel. Then i realized it, corrected it, and now i don't have the issue anymore..

Alternative ideas:
- Look up and read/integrate "The Four Agreements" into your life
- Spend more time having a fun lifestyle.. One that YOU love

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This is what I've been studying when I first stumbled on The power of now by Eckhart Tolle. His theory tells you to acknowledge your mind and its self-destructing ideas, and to be conscious by stepping out of its realm. Only then can you say "I know what you're doing there, and I'm going to laugh at it because that's not who I am". I've been trying to apply it, but it's really easy to get sucked back into your normal way of doing things. I go through phases where I'll feel real positive for a certain amount of days, but then I hit a stumbling block and fall back down. It's tough to describe, I wish it was consistent thinking.

I guess as with many things though, the more you do it, the more it internalizes itself in your mind and becomes something normal. So I'm just going to have to soldier on and keep being positive. It's funny because I recently had a day 2 with someone I met recently, and I asked her what her first impression of me was. Do you know what she said? She said her first impression was that I was a happy and confident person. Can you believe that I've been portraying that but I never knew what I was doing? Anyway, if she had met me 2-3 months ago, it would be the complete opposite.

As for the four agreements, I do own the books in my bookshelf. I've read them a long time ago, I should probably read them again since they're quick reads.

Thanks for the feedback TheRightGuy.

For sure man.. As for it "sucking you in".. I've been there too - still from time to time things can draw me in like that. I really don't have much advice for you though cause like we agree - it's hard to "battle" your natural habits. If you wanna try what i'm doing right now, here's the list (combined with the previous answer)

• St Johns Wart (You can get it at a local supermarket)

• Forcing myself to display my true emotions 100% of the time.. (E.g. don't laugh at a joke just to release tension)..

• Eating more consistently (Don't know why? but that has had a BIG issue in the past with my emotions.. I'd eat a huge lunch, small dinner, skip breakfast the following day, and for some reason i'd feel abnormally pessimistic as compared to when i ate a continuous portion throughout the day)

• Spending more time in "my cave" (e.g. working on cars/dancing/going to the river/walking the dog/etc)

All in all - when something happens where i start to draw into those negative ideals - i just draw myself into an emotional blank... even though it may not be immediately affecting what i think, my facial express goes to neutral, then my body posture, then i start to focus on relaxing all my muscles, etc.. And when i hit that point, i focus intently on what the other person is saying - with no attention to how i feel or what i think... And in MOST cases, that works to get me away from the mindset - but not to improve the temporary self-esteem.[/list]

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