Hey there people, so first of all, to answer this question it'd be great if knew the theories behind Vin Decarlo's Pandoras Box. If you do then you'd probably have a better chance at giving me a good answer...

So I've known this HB8 for around 3 years now, but have had many long gaps between seeing her. I've identified her as a playette (this is where pandoras box comes in ) because she recently rang me, talked about organizing a date to meet, but then flaked and she also accused me of being a player, (though she probably knows I'm not). She's also expressed interest and said that she finds me attractive.

Anyway, since she flaked on me, it's been about a month, or a bit less...then she rings me up. We have a monotone conversation with a lack of energy but with more silence than talking. The silences feel like sexual tension to me, so i don't talk all that much or with much excitement. Then the phone connection goes dead, or she hangs up. I know from pandoras box how i should be acting, but what do i do now? Should i wait for her to call again or should i call her?

This is a tricky one because since I've known her, I've been quite docile and friendly, how do i make her think of me differently?

Cheers,

Actor

Regardless of how old you kids are, you sound like a pair of skittish 15 year olds. Call her up, ask her out, take her out, and have fun.

1. She likes you.

2. Pan-fucking-what? What the hell are you chattering about? She ASKED YOU out got cold feet and flaked.

3. You waited a MONTH? Is this a part of the pandorama boxing strategy? Frustrate a girl to death for 3 years to the point she asks you out, then hide back in your cave when she gets nervous?

4. You're still hiding in your cave hoping to come up with some brilliant idea to MAKE HER think of you differently. Do you practice Vodoo Doll Pick up as well?

5. Get your ass on that phone and ask her out. Read the "I like you, you like me" thread.

6. The good news is that you're a mellow guy. She's already accepted this and still shows signs of interest. You don't have to re-invent yourself or talk differently or dress differently or act differently. All it takes is a request. You do go out once in a while and 'request' for things right? Well, this is no different from ordering a burger with fries.

7. Consider dropping the PUA Kung Fu analysis. You're only using these things as a way to justify your current situation. The only thing that's holding you back is your hermit-like lame ass. Stand up and be a man. (And again, this doesn't mean you have to pump yourself up or dress funny or shout. All it takes is a phone call and a request.)

Hey kasabi cheers for the info,

And yes i do practice Voodoo pick up how did you know? ;P I've sent her a message on facebook now asking her out so we'll see how that goes.

Maybe i'm just complicating things with my jibber-jabber.

I'll keep you posted.

Actor I am by no means a PUA but come on dude - facebook? seriously? I am assuming you have her number as you mentioned that she had called you before, so why not over the phone?

Women are far far more responsive over phone. I used to do the asking out by text as I thought it would be easier for the girl to reject me and not put her in an uncomfortable position well i learnt from that mistake. Women are far more responsive to MEN who contact her via phone or even better face to face.

Kasabi, I may need to grow some balls, but you need to grow a brain mate. Even if a girl expresses interest, you have to remember she could start playing games any moment. The situation was a lot more complex than just approaching directly with "Hey let's go on a date or meet up". That was too direct. If you'd read Pandoras Box which you seem so dismissive of, you'd realize that this is the type of girl that doesn't want to have a guy chase her....she wants to chase the guy. Hence how the conversation went:

(btw JohnnyBoy, i don't happen to have her phone number at the moment, so facebook was the only option, though i agree it's not the best way to communicate)

Actor8 - Sorry i didn't get back to u after the phone cut off, real busy SPAM. If u want we can meet up on Wednesday in the daytime in ------- or go shopping in central? hope you're gd x

Her - hey bbe...i am in the studio on wednesday...this week is tie 4 me maybe next week hun xxx

POW! you're theory is toast brother. Gotta be clever with this shit nah mean? And trust me, knowing this chick, she'll blow me off next week too.

Appreciate the advice anyhow, but I've decided im not going to bother with this one...

Signing out.

Actor8

^Not what I recommended. This is what I recommended:
^This is not a no. This is "You're a dork."
And you're not very clever.
And if you don't bother with THIS ONE, you won't bother with ANY ONE. It's not so much fun to act like an idiot and then blame your failures on Pandorama or a non-existing theory. This isn't a 'theory'. This is just something that every NORMAL guy who DATES women does on a regular basis.
Below is YOU "pumping yourself up" and "acting funny and shouting" via facebook:
Unfortunate but we all live the lives we deserve.

Listen I'm not gonna bother with arguing with you. You're clearly one of those guys that is on this site for the sole purpose of trying to make others think that your like a God of PUA and that you have all the answers. Truth is, you know fuck all about the girl, about me and about the situation that I was in with her. You're assuming a hell of a lot without having me given you much information at all. So you know what, respond to this if you have to get one up on me or whatever but I'm not gonna respond - I'm gonna be out there in the field practicing my shit.

Good luck and have fun.