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Hey Heffty, I've been in the same position as you. I've witnessed plenty of that shit go by also, and I also have an insecurity when it comes to that type of problem. I read an interesting article about this posted by David X, and I couldn't agree with him any more. You need to do the "My way or the Highway," act, if she doesn't accept it, move on. If she's flirting with other guys, you flirt with other girls. If she asks why, tell her if she can do it, you can too. Before the relationship, it'd been easier if you told her that shit doesn't fly. I would not want that shit going by me, affiliating with an ex boyfriend is a definite no no, if she was going away with him in a cabin for a week, she definitely is fucking him... unless she took you along with her, because he'd be just a "friend" then, right? I just kicked a girl to the curb after a year relationship because she was hanging with her ex boyfriend's sister, going to his house. I told her that shit doesn't fly and it bothered me, she didn't accept it so I broke the relationship, now she's calling me wanting me back but guess what... I've moved on, because PUA is what makes me stronger. Hate to deliver the bad news, but like David X says:
MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY
You have to be in control of every interaction. It’s my way or the highway. For example, if a woman asks you a question that makes you uncomfortable, don't answer it. You are under no obligation to do anything that you don't want to do. Be a man, and she will respect you for it, even if she seems all upset. Just say,"I don't want to answer that question." When she asks why, just turn it around and say, "you don't have any secrets from me?"
What if she says, "Oh I can't tell you"? Fine. That means it works both ways. If she doesn't want to tell me something, I'm not gonna beg her to tell me. See, we all have the right to keep secrets, and it works both ways. The way I see it, if she doesn't want to tell me something, that just makes it easier for me to hold secrets. She can have all the secrets she wants. You have to be in control but not controlling. That means being in control of yourself. If you freak out on her because she's witholding information, then you're essentially telling her that you own the rights to her thoughts.
I see all these dumb guys arguing with their women. I don't argue with them. She can do whatever she wants and so can I. You see, if you argue with them then you're a pussy. It's my way or the highway. When you argue, you are telling her that you need her to act in a certain way or see something from your point of view in order for you to be happy. If you love someone set them free. My women know what the rules are and they know that I'm perfectly willing to walk if they don't obey the rules.
You need to learn to be strong and decisive. Rule number one: Who cares what they think. Because what they think is irrelevant. Guys are constantly asking me how to handle a woman who is a bitch. Who needs her? If you want her just for the sex, fine. But I find that you will be much better off sleeping with a prostitute that is just as good-looking anyway. Because the prostitute won't give you any hassle, she won't waste your time, and she will probably be a better fuck anyway! And she will only cost you about $150, whereas the bitch will drain you emotionally and financially. Unless you're me, of course, and you learn how to get over your fears of rejection and think out loud. Why would you want a bitch? So she can twist you around in knots?
If you still want her, then you first need to remember the golden rule: Treat a lady like a whore, and treat a whore like a lady. If a woman is so good looking, with her tits hanging out, she is acting like a whore. So treat her like the whore that she is. Remember, every woman is a whore except for two of them: Your mother and your sister.
Just watch the amazing transformation that will occur in a woman when you treat her this way. She is gorgeous, wears red lipstick, tight pants so you can see her crotch, and let's her tits hang out for everyone to see. Now watch what happens when someone like me walks up and says, "You're so fuckin' good looking, what do you charge a man to sleep with you?" And she'll get upset and say, "I'm no prostitute!" To that I reply, "Well you sure fooled me! You sure act like one!" I am telling you guys, when you hit those bitches with a line like that, they are speechless. You're the only guy that came up and called her a whore. The rest of them all thought it, but were too afraid to say it.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're afraid to say these kind of things to women. There you go, you're trying to think for HER again. "But what will she think?" Who cares. Stop worrying about getting rejected. Be ruthless. Have the balls to say and do whatever the fuck you want to say and do.
Sounds helpful. May I ask how successful this technique has been applied to other girls for you? or did similar problems still occur?
I would anticipate that this technique only works on girls who are passive or too scared of you. Otherwise, you have just limited the choice of girls you've get
To be frank, I do not think the issue is with the OP, but the girl and her personality in general. The girl had that in her to begin with.