I always feel like I'm forcing conversation on people when I go up to them at parties, especially because I don't know them anyway I just don't know how to be natural and at the same time go around talking to people idk without it getting awkward after the first few subjects... and I've only been to about 10 to 20 parties in my whole life and only 5 or 6 of them I new a little bit about pickup, so do I have to fail a bunch in order to finally be good at mingling and having interesting things to talk about without it getting awkward? and I know it's hard to put numbers on it but through your opinion how many times do you have to be caught in awkward and embarrising moments before you become the life of the party or good at conversing with people?

Like most things, this is something that comes with practice. There's no real number to put on it, since each person is different and will learn confidence at different rates. As much as I know you hate to hear it, you'll just have to keep trying. A few things that might make it easier: take a group of friends, and instead of you awkwardly joining the group, try bringing people into yours. That way you get used to talking to strangers in an environment that you control. Another thing that might help is to really get your energy up and get excited before you go in. Sounds corny, but listening to loud, fast music while bouncing around in the car with my wing really helps get my energy up and get me in the mood to go out.

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-Breeze

nate,

This is one of my strengths. I honestly believe that anyone can be the life of the party. Now I dont mean the clown...that's something you want to avoid. The end goal is to be know as the "Fun" guy, not the "funny guy". I hope that makes sense.

As far as actually doing it, try to imagine a guy who is really good with women...how would he act at a social gathering? You may have some different answers, but for me i think its a few things:

1. When you enter a room, make sure you smile
2. When you are actually physically walking through a room, walk semi slow.
3. When you initiate conversation with someone, you dont have to say something profound, funny, or forced. What I do when I go to a bar/club is I'll simply walk up NEXT to a girl(note how emphasize next) nudge her elbow lightly with mine and say,"whats up" with a killer smile on. If you are at a party, and someone gives you the googily eye just for being social...they are probably pretty lame and you dont want to hang with them...
4. and lastly, and this is crucial, when you start meeting more people, try introducing them to the other people you met. It makes you look like a real "connector" and brings up your social value.

If you can start out with those things, I think you'll see a vast improvement in your life.

**If you find this difficult, I think the easiest thing I have my students do are drive by compliments. If you find yourself nervous or whatever, just walk up next to a girl and say, nice shoes or etc. Same thing with guys "Where did you get that shirt man...its awesome!" Who would give you shit for saying that***

Let me know if this helps.

-Special

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A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams...

Just be happy and natural.

Don't worry about your walking speed, how often you smile or any other things you're trying to force, because people can easily tell straight away if you're truly happy or just pretending to smile as you enter a room.

I didn't say 'act happy and natural' for that reason, you can't act this, you have to BE it.

You need to put some serious focus into building yourself into a likeable sociable character, but at the base line it all depends on one thing:- the vibe you're projecting

If you can walk through life with a permanently good vibe, everyone you meet will find you likeable and you'll find yourself going places. You'll easily be able to meet people and build the social status you desire.