Hiya! First time here so I don't know where to put this.

I have a problem. This girl, Sara, has been flirting a lot. Since we are in the same class in school, we met and talked, but it was just small talk. Her texts were different tho, she wanted more and so did I eventually.

She started texting me about how she wanted to see me and if I was coming to a friends dinner, which I replied 'maybe, I'm quite busy but I'll try to make it', she wasn't satisfied. I texted her the following day and told her I was available, and she was happy. She told me that she finally could meet me and read my body language, sending flirty smilies and so on.

If I haven't made it clear yet -- she wanted me. She wasn't shy about it, she told me upfront, as she said I had something extra and she usually turned insecure when I ignored her in school.

At the dinner I started caressing her, she was by my side and seeking my attention. I tried to behave but couldn't, she acted the same way. We were like the center of the dinner (people told me later that it was very clear that she wanted me). I'm no shy guy in that matter, I show my interest but I'm not HANGING over the girl. A bit cold, let her approach and when she comes around I tease her a little.

On our way home she turned cold (because some started fighting about 4 girls and how attracted they were of a guy, and they flipped it around and made Sara look like the bad girl that wanted me so badly). I played it cool, showed no interest what so ever and when we got home she took one bed and I another. We talked a bit, felt it was so weird so I invited myself over to her. She showed no interest, neither did I. I felt stupid, started caressing her slowly, pinched her so she started laughing a bit and so on. I was trying to lighten up the mood, but she didnt respond. Instead she nagged about her being tired, and was almost covering her face. I tried once again, caressing and sh1t. No reaction so I told her I was sleeping in the other bed, she whined a little then she fell asleep.

I lay awake half night, didn't understand what the fark I had done wrong. When I felt I couldnt lay awake more, I MOVED NEXT TO HER (wtf was I thinking) and woke her up. She nagged and asked if I hadnt switched bed last night. As I noticed she wasnt interested, I put on my clothes and left.

My problem is, what should I do? I feel like a farking disaster SPAM. She texted me 3 days later, with smilies and sh1t. When I texted her back she responded "Oooh what you doing? " (happy feeling?). I tried playing cold and cynically, out of interest and stopped texting her after 4 texts. Thought she would text again but no. Now I feel like I have to text her, to avoid getting Next'ed (even though she has a boyfriend!). I have never been so destroyed in my life over a girl. I want her so bad and I cant get her out of my mind. She is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Really, this is pathetic, but what should I do? Should I ignore her? Text her? Tease-text her? Kill myself? Worst part is that she has a boyfriend.

I hate girls. I wish I had game. (yes beta)

Thanks.

Okay, first of all. I want you to realize what is going on with that girl. To me, sounds like she's manipulating you (just like most girls do with boys).

Don't see why? Let me show you a post I once saw in this forum, don't remember who posted it though. But look a little bit like what happened to you.

Emotional game


Here's my disclaimer - I don't advocate any of these to be used by anyone who wants a healthy and happy relationship - but these are the tactics that "jerks" use so it's always good to be familiar with these. And it's also good to take these to heart if you recognize dependence on a chick in yourself and you find HER pulling these tactics.

I'll just let you guys know right off that this is a twisted post, although as I have been able to model guys that get women obsessed with them, there are common tactics that they pull. And there may be some learning in it, as evil as some of the tactics may be.

Now, of course some of this can be taken to extreme by those who are less benevolent and irresponsible than most of us, so proceed with caution... because you can create a stalker and an obsessed chick this way. Use with discretion!

Part 1: Drug Dependence - Here Is The Criteria:
1) Tolerance
This is where someone gets used to a certain drug and it takes more and more to get the same high.

2) Withdrawal
This is where someone goes into physical and/or psychological distress from not having the drug.

3) Larger and Longer
This is where the person cant control how much they take and how long they take it. The drug controls THEM.

4) Unsuccessful cut down
This is where they want to cut down, but they find that they cant.

5) Time spent
They invest a huge portion of their energy in obtaining the drug as well as getting over the initial highs.

6) Reduced social, occupational or recreational activities
This is where they forego other parts of their lives for the drug.

7) Continued use despite knowledge of psychological or physical problems
This is where they can see that the drug controls them and gives them problems and causes them to have to sacrifice other parts of their lives, but they DO IT ANYWAY.

Part 2: The 10 Steps To Becoming Her Drug!
1) Initially, Give, Give and Give
Like a drug dealer, to start with, give her the time of her life. Give it generously to start with. I'm not saying to not make her earn it... just make it easy for her.

2) Fulfill a NEED
It could be an emotional need, it could be a physical need, it could be a need for security, it could be a need for FUN - give her the time of her life... Make her feel good. To find the need, just do a value elicitation for it. "What would you NEED to have in your life to be happy?" and "So how would you know that you had this?" and then "And what would it be like for you to be able to have this, where you can have it in this way? (then repeat her description)" Give her DRAMA! With this comes the extreme highs and lows. Don't introduce the "lows" just yet... save that for later when you start to do the withdrawal phase.

3) Make yourself a HABIT for her
Become a regular part of her daily routine. I've noticed that chicks that weren't even into me initially succumed to the HABIT when I became a part of their daily life. Paint a picture of you ALWAYS being there for her. Remember, the strongest human instinct is not survival... its HABIT! INSTILL yourself into her "Personal Narrative". This is the way that she see's her present and her future expectations.

4) Be unpredictable
So that she never knows what to expect.

5) Transition to making her earn what you give her
If she asks anything of you, ALWAYS ask for something in return, no matter how small... just as a TOKEN of value. This starts the process of her having to earn what you give her. What you ask of her (as small as it may be) puts more value on what you give her and lets her know that you ain't for free!

6) Use both positive and negative reinforcement
Take away the good stuff when she does things that you don't like (and if there aren't any, just make some up!) and reward her when she does stuff you DO like. You NEED to do both. You can also use a "propulsion mechanism" where you have her "move toward" reward, and "move away from" punishment. Also get MAD... and show it! When she deserves it especially. The make up can be well worth it! With guys that get chicks obsessed with them, there is often a "cycle" that starts with tension to explosion to make up to honeymoon to tension to explosion to make up to honeymoon... and on and on it goes. They often don't even recognize this cycle.

7) Start to crowd out other parts of her life
I know this is evil, but this is the way alot of guys do it that get women obsessed with them. They compete with her friends, guy friends, family... they ISOLATE her from the rest of the world. The use of this evil tactic is up to your own discretion and conscience! This is where you become her WORLD! Let her get the impression that you are in demand This increases your perceived value in her eyes.

9) Start to take it away
Start to make yourself more scarce. But give 110% when she does have you. Let her have withdrawal. Don't call for a few days, don't touch her when you are with her for one evening. Resist her advances if she wants to have sex for the evening.

10) Alternate Now between Hot and Cold
Giving and taking it away, Push and Pull. - Make it about her doing things for YOU now. About her trying to keep YOU. Ask her to do things for you. LET her do things for you. The more she gives, the more you ask for. - Of course you have to give some as well, but just not as much.




However, this post been criticized a lot and you shouldn't try to use that type of game as it is pure evil.

Now... Do you get it? She's your drug...

I think you should stop investing in her. It will be hard but you will find somebody else, better.

That situation already happened to me, and trust me, it is not healthy. I just hope that, from now on, you will realize when girl are manipulative toward you.

Peace

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

you just pushed too much. then she knew that she had you and you became powerless.

your current mindset will not fix that. going out with some more people probably will.

you can text her but i'd say wait a week and make it a statement rather than a question.

_________________

I'm a winner - I am going to win.

Thanks a lot for a quick answer, Matt.

I have been thinking about her manipulating me, but she is so convincing somehow. She told me it's complicate between her and her bf and I have always said to myself that she is only looking for attention from other guys, because her bf isn't giving her enough attention to feel needed. Though, she's always around me and tries to get my attention, and as I mentioned, I tend to reject her. Thus leading her saying that she would "go crazy" if she couldn't see me.

Somehow your post feels so surreal, because it feels so accurate, every step. I must get rid of this addiction, for sure. Fuck, it's easier said than done.
Just when I felt in control. Yah, I'll definitely try doing other things to get her off my mind.

One quick question tho, what did you mean with "statement rather than a question"? Any example on what could be a statement?

I mean don't have a question mark anywhere in your text. Don't openly invite a reply.

Say something cute, funny, interesting. Tell her your weekend was much better than hers, your hair looks AMAZING today, you saw some penguins having sex and thought of her. Tell her to stop thinking about you, or that you've completed your research and if it must be done, green and orange are the best combination of odd socks. It depends a little on what she's like but it doesn't really matter what you say because the silence will have already done the work. And you'll have been having fun in the meantime.

_________________

I'm a winner - I am going to win.

Whoa.. Thanks man! You just opened a whole new world for me. I have to learn to think outside the box. Man-up a bit.

Any suggestions on how to reply if she texts me first? Ignore her/send no reply, show no interest or act normal?

Sorry for being so sucky at this/asking too much. It's just that this whole "game" is new to me and I'm completely lost SPAM...

MrMatt's post was the single best one I've seen on the entire site.

That right there is how it's done.

Unethical? We are dealing with people who openly and without any compunction PUT PAINT ON THEIR FACES to make them look like something different than they actually are.

These people have hot-selling magazines almost entirely devoted to open manipulation of men. Check out Cosmo sometime if you want to see unethical.

Actually PUAs should ALWAYS be reading Cosmo. I'm not joking about that.

The vast majority of women see men as money faucets. Nice men are kept around for use as security blankets and backup providers when the alpha males aren't busy impregnating them with their genetically superior sperm so that the Nice Guy can raise kids who aren't his.

Just saying-- don't feel bad about ANYTHING you do.

In general I think it's a good idea, though, not to subject nice women to the really evil types of SPAM.

Strangely enough I think that strippers and people like that may be more susceptible to this sort of thing than nicer women. Could be wrong about that.

_________________
When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.

Yo spandrel, your name made me choke from laughing so hard

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A Tru nigga

Guess I'm just a funny guy.

BTW, spandrel is also the NATO designation for a Russian spigot-launched anti-armor missile which is extremely phallic.

_________________
When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.

I had this happen to me... sucked big time. I pulled out of it though and it has had some explosive results in the friendship. LOL

Ahh, my mistake. I actually meant to say your sig"

Sounds like someones bout' to get dat ass pounded with or without their consent...

_________________
A Tru nigga

That's easy. Any idiot can do that.

The game is getting them to consent.

_________________
When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.

In what way haha?

I just noticed something -- there are a lot of girls in this world. Feels like I just opened a treasure lol.

Oh she's just having a hard time dealing with my new backbone and way of handling her. She gets SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad at me now but you can feel the positive tension. RIght now she just attacks, attacks, attacks because she is trying to re-enforce her previous value judgement of who and what I am. I was already pretty knowledgeable of psychology before I started looking into this stuff so I have always been able to pin point her IOIs but didn't know how to flip her IODs back to where they were when we dated. Lord... LMAO. SUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEAL.

Some days ago a friend of mine told me what she told him about our little night. She told him that she was pissed at me because I woke her up and was very annoying that she told me that morning to get the fuck out (WHICH is a lie, because she never DID).

So after that I have been ignoring her for the whole week. She tried to talk to me multiple times, but I have been short and really paying no attention to her. Focusing mostly on other girls and showing that I am not going to sit around and wait for her, just acting normal and having a good time.

Yesterday same friend of mine told me that I shouldn't be so hard on her, just a little. She actually asked him if I was mad at her and told him that I hadn't payed any attention to her lately. And later that night he told me another thing. He asked her about "us" and she said something like "I hope he didn't misinterpreted anything I said to him. I have no feelings for him what so ever." so he told her that everybody at the dinner had seen what was going on between us and it wasn't discret and she countered with "I act the same way around you". As I mentioned before she went ice cold at the dinner when the people pointed out that she wanted me badly. And now she asked me why I am so upset and don't talk to her.

Is the "I have no feelings for him" a way of trying to play it off, because I haven't payed any attention to her? Possibly ASD?

I'm trying to get over this girl, but she keeps coming back. I don't know if I should tell her to fuck off or just act nice to her and lick her feet. :E