Quote:
Start by forcing yourself into conversations even wen it feels uncomfortable.
This.
Every day people walk around, so bloody petrified about what people think of them. Their ego - the part of their psyche that deals with other's perception of themselves, is so big and fragile, that they protect themselves by NOT talking, and by NOT taking action, rather than risk the possibility of being rejected or failing.
FUCK THAT.
The ONLY way to learn and to progress is to DO and FAIL and try again. No comedian sits down and writes the perfect routine based on some theoretical principles about what's funny, and then goes and performs it perfectly the first time. They write some ideas, they go out, and 90% of their material BOMBS. The bad ones take that to heart, and get upset and get angry at the audience or quit. The good ones keep working and cut the bad stuff and expand the good stuff. The REALLY good ones make jokes about how bad the shitty stuff bombed, and make laughs out of failure!
Why? Because they're SO COMFORTABLE with the awkwardness, that nothing affects them! They literally don't care what you think! And there's no insult, no funny quip, no AMOG tactic that's gonna make them suddenly go all quiet, apologise for themselves, or give up.
The only way to get that way, is to push yourself into really uncomfortable situations, and revel in your own self-amusement and LOVE awkwardness for the hilarity of it.
A social situation is just people talking. Nothing HAPPENS if your joke is inappropriate, or you slip and fall, or you forget someone's name. The police don't get called when someone plays a silly prank on a shopkeeper.
People are going around very bored with their lives. Nothing that exciting happens. BE the excitement, create that energy, and do it authentically because YOU enjoy it, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Paradoxically, having the attitude of NOT caring what others think, has the effect of making people magnetically attracted to you.
The people having their own fun in the club always attract people who want to be part of it. The people at the dinner party having the really animated conversation always have people butting in wanting to hear the story. The guy with the successful business who built it his own way with his own rules, always has investors lining up to get a piece of it and learn his secrets for how to achieve it. The person with the totally unique fashion sense or musical style creates a buzz around them and has hordes of fans and people copying what they do. Do you think those people are looking around wondering what everyone else thinks of them? Or worried if they might offend someone? Or giving the slightest shit whether someone might take what they say or do the wrong way? FUCK NO.
Go out there, and create social awkwardness and revel in it. Order a Big Mac at Burger King, ask people directions with your finger up your nose, then try and shake their hand, go up to girls and ask them to marry you! It's all harmless, and it helps 90% of our clients release themselves from their social anxiety and go out there and have fun!
CHAT
