Hey guys at the Pua I have a few questions for everyone.

Hmm.. Where do I start..
Okay I realized that I have no real conversational skills with people I either just met or acquaintances that i talk to in and out of school. Im not just talking about to girls im talking about just in general. Its the same old. me-"hey whats up?" other-"nm you" me-"same." and from there i ask a question or something. I usually find myself trying to find stuff to talk about rather then it flowing. That really really gets to me. It gets to me so much that i dont even make an effort anymore to talk to people. Only to my close friends..

Now lets say im at the club, bar or just a party. Ill act fun dance have a great time. I can walk up to anyone and say "hi whats up" just small chat and again the same thing comes into play. I talk and just no flow comes out. I dont get it.

So my questions are:
1. Are there any books that i can read to improve my social/communication skills? I was going to take public speaking at my local trade school but that got messed up because of a different class

2. What are you opinions? Should I compliment people more to get them talking about themselves? Just give me opinions please

bumpity

I have this same issue. I can do fine approaching and delivering canned openers, but things die off after that and I don't really know what to do.

Exact same thing I have a problem with. I feel that I am a boring person. I can go up and small talk all day but I can not escalate into anything further.

well my opinion is canned material is all garbage, its stupid.. Natural game is better. I believe that because having natural game means you have great social skills. If you have great social skills you will get far in life. I say that because you learn how to juggle a conversation and in the end getting what you want with girls or whatever. I kinda like to look at natural game as learning the art of persuasion.

Anyways.. Im doing some research on how to intrigue right now.. That should help

It happens because you actually have nothing to talk about it. You need to go out and do things which you enjoy and narrate them to girls u meet. Go to parties or simply sign up for something like boxing and when you talk about it make sure to be enthusiastic about it; people will enjoy the smallest things you talk about... Good luck

[quote="Felandro" I'm not exactly gonna go up to a girl and start talking about how I used to do drugs and beat up kids who made fun of my weight or how I got drunk and threw a guy over a balcony. Some things are just not quite as applicable to your current situation.[/quote]

Steve Mayeda "El Topo" talks about individualised openers where you can open with something that seems like a DLV but opens up a conversation about what you want to talk about and gets very quickly to qualification.

If you have a funny story about throwing a guy off a balcony, then fucking tell it! There is no rule against that.

Steve himself often brings up that he never finished high school and/or that he used to be involved in drugs very early on in a conversation, and he's an excellent PUA. Don't worry about DLVing, focus on being interesting, unique and fun to be around.

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I don't know how my message was unclear, but I said things you enjoyed... Obviously don't start dishing out your drug problems on her, but small stories from parties are fine. What I suggested to do is expand your stories instead of using the ones you memorize... That minimizes the brain farts as u actually know what happened and don't have to think too much about it

well my opinion is canned material is all garbage, its stupid.. Natural game is better. I believe that because having natural game means you have great social skills. If you have great social skills you will get far in life. I say that because you learn how to juggle a conversation and in the end getting what you want with girls or whatever. I kinda like to look at natural game as learning the art of persuasion.

Anyways.. Im doing some research on how to intrigue right now.. That should help

My thoughts on this:

Yes, natural game is better. But that doesn't mean canned material is all garbage. Some of it is pretty good, and if you can combine the two it can work really well. The cube is a good example of this. Most kino escalation routines are basically canned, and they often work very well.

If we all had great social skills, there wouldn't be much reason for PUA materials to begin with. Canned material is a good initial stepping stone. To me it seems a lot like dance. People who are good dancers can do it and it looks natural. But if you go to learn dance, you will start with very basic steps and you will follow them procedurally and with practice you eventually will be able to move very naturally and improvise, make your own steps, etc. But you have to start somewhere, and for many of us PUA routines are the initial procedures that are useful for getting some field experience.

i actually agree with you on that one kanato. its been 6 months later and I still have the same problem. I have been getting better though but still everything i say i feel like its just forced out and i dont find a connection. This shit really gets to me..

Just to add to what Blonde is saying...

Get emotional, be descriptive, etc. Feel the moment. When you're talking about something, look for your emotions...

HB: God I thought I was gonna fail that exam.
AFC: Yeah me too... it was hard.

now lets move to something like this...

HB: God I thought I was gonna fail that exam.
PUA: Ugh me too. I was up all night on wikipedia, trying to stay awake. I swear, my head kept on falling on my keyboard. I woke up with a numerical pad imprinted on my forehead. Haha

Once you get better at it, kino the HB while telling your story. So what I would do when telling this story is pretending the HB was my computer... and I would literally show her me pretending to be sleepy and dropping my toward her... then quickly pulling back up.... then doing it again... you get the point.

What you can do is just leave the conversation, but leave them wanting to keep it going. That way they will re-approach you later on. Now to them you are the desirable one and they will find almost anything you talk about interesting. They will have something to talk about since they have approached you. This does mean you will need to be able to build strong rapport and attraction quickly and then be able to cut it off just as fast to make them want to keep talking.

However, it may be better to just get more things to talk about. I know that may be sound a bit silly, but its really simple. All you need to do is go out and start doing interesting things. Start new hobbies, join clubs, go exploring, do more activities and go to more places. Be more impulsive. These experiences will give you new things to talk about and maybe even new people to talk to them about.

good stuff big pimpin! thats exactly what i have to do and thats exactly what my problem is. Im to blank and straight forward with things. When you gave that first example with the afc thats exactly me. I know what i have to do i just fail doing it. Maybe i tend to over think things, actually i know i do. All my teachers called me a perfectionist because im always over over thinking everything and nothing satisfies me.

and for archetype i do everything. literally. Im always out dong things i cant stand to sit home. I surf skate goto the gym. I try to jump on every opportunity