| Hello men.
I grew up as a born again Christian in America. I never got the sex talk, but I definitely got the "no sex before marriage" message drilled in, somehow. But it was long after seeing the vast porn collections belonging to my friends' dads. One of them had every Playboy since sometime in the 70s. Classic.
I discovered the va-jay-jay as a pre-teen through born again pre-teen ladies, and it's been love ever since. I did everything except intercourse until my 19th birthday.
But that party was epic. Immediately after boning for my first time, I sat on the edge of the bed and bawled. In front of the girl. I said, "I'm not a virgin anymore!"
I felt bad about ruining her night for a year, whereupon I finally told my friends about it. After a moment or two, my good friend ______ said, "You fucker." She had taken his virginity the week after taking mine.
Good girl..:)
I continued doing everything except sex through college, though I did bone another time or three -- always wasted mind you, and feeling guilty the next day or week or two or more.
Just after graduating college I fucked it up with my first love, and I moved to London. I decided to do things different, because my current way lead me to losing her.
My real introduction to full-on sober sex was with a gorgeous blonde Polish girl named Eva. We worked together at a shitty restaurant. The first time I saw her I thought she was way too hot for me. But she loved my "American-ness". After the first time we had sex, I noticed a wet spot on the mattress. (I was sober. I'd never seen it the wasted times.) I pointed at it and smiled, and said something like, "Look what you did!" She said, "Traffic Light, that's you." I was like, "Huh?"
Anyway, I got a few more under my belt over the next two years, but I still struggled feeling like I was going to hell.
Then my life changed.
I met my second and so-far strongest love, a Danish girl. She saw life completely different than any girl I'd ever met. Sex was no big deal. And I found my own way, deciding sex before marriage is fine, if you're really into the girl.
We fucked all over the place. I moved to Denmark. We kept fucking all over the place.
But the relationship was toxic. Full on passionate hate, and fights, and sex, and hate, and more fights, and love, and hate, and sex.
She cheated on me after one year and I left her. I was miserable for a year or more -- but the whole of Denmark is sexually-free. Sex is no big deal here. I spent my fucked-up time having a lot of casual but meaningless sex. (Move here guys. Sex is seen as natural, and one-noght-stands are no big deal.)
In this time I was searching for meaning. That girl turned my world upside-down. All my words lost their meaning. I could see up as down, black as white, and so on. I was way confused.
Then my life changed for the second time. I read the book "The Black Swan" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. It's about the profound limits of our knowledge -- how we know basically nothing, but trick ourselves into thinking we know everything. (Read it guys. It's got nothing to do with game, but it will forever affect the way you see life. Don't obsess about chicks. So much of everything is completely random, beyond our understanding, beyond our control.)
And finally -- and of course -- I randomly found "The Game" in a book store one day.
I look forward to sharing thoughts and learnings and theories with you all.
-Trafffic
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CHAT