What's done is done.

why don't you just say okay and be friends?

Well, I am going to agree to be friends again.

But I feel like my dignity and ego has been hurt. Well I don't feel it has, I know it has.

I want to take this opportunity to both reconcile and demonstrate that "I really do not give a fuck" and that "you (she) shouldn't feel too highly about yourself (herself), because I made it seem like I liked you (her), what i felt was BS and I should not have felt it, I just wanted to have sex with you..."

That last part part sends shivers down my spine.

Now maybe I am reaching for the impossible, but I want to be able to convey the above without actually saying it right out. I am beginning to realize how ridiculous this situation has become.

Just say you don't know what she's talking about and that you guys have always been on good terms and that she shouldn't read into things. But now that she's messaged you that you have reservations and you'd love to take her out to this nice restaurant for dinner before you meet up with your group of friends for drinks. Then get her back to your place and fuck her brains out.

I already fired off the message.

It is pretty obvious that at this point the chances of having a sexual or romantic relationship with this girl are .01%

Even if I was not so severely rude to her, how would any girl be attracted to such clingy, jealous, presumptuous behavior? So even if I truly did have a chance before I became a jealous verbal abuser, it has all gone out the window.

At this point she is just being mature and level headed about it, and as she put it and as it true and annoying as it is, we now all hang out with the same people. So it is better to just settle things.

My message to her (the gist):

1. I can not stop you from going where ever you want
2. I cringe that you think that I think I am the victim ,or that you think you had some effect my "feelings."
3. The whole "lead"on thing was a misstatement from the beginning, and I said so from day one.
4. This is about how I handle myself when I drink, that's it.
5. I agree to keep things friendly for this last weekend at Uni
6. part of me does wish things to be as they were in the past.

My message served to help me fortify my ego by pretending this situation did not affect me at all, and to also try and make things less awkward at social events so that I can get on with partying and bangin other chicks without this girl downing my night out. And then finally as point 6. states part of me does just want to rewind and go back to being "friends."

My opportunity to play dumb and "not know what she is talking about" past facking ages ago when I decided to ignore her after the first text. IF ONLY I took a deep breath then and swallowed my pride and jealousy. Then maybe, just maybe, I would have gotten somewhere with her....

My first case of oneitis. I hope it is my last. I certainly learned a lot.

you want to save face? get the fuck over yourself and stop being a tool towards her.
was that necessary? despite it being true that you think you are the victim and that she did have an effect on your feelings, did you really have to try and make out like she didnt?
she is not the one thinking highly of herself, you are. she tried to understand why you were you angry at her and resolve the situation, you just wanted to avoid it. even after you told her multiple times to fuck off, she still tried to be friendly.

you went after a chick who had just come out of a long term relationship, she was probably looking for a friend and someone to confide in and all you wanted was a root. you'd be a hypocrite to be angry at her for "leading you on" (which i doubt she was) because you were doing the same thing.

you want to save face. be honest with her instead of coming up with bullshit excuses. tell her you were jealous of her talking to other guys because you liked her. you're not used to the feeling and have no idea how to deal with it, hence your outburst.

if you genuinely had a good time with her, then remain friends and hang out. you may have ruined your romantic relationship chances, but you could still salvage the friendship

Women are weird. Oftentimes berating them and then not talking to them can be good, in a way-- it gets their minds working.

I'd say your best bet is to throw a bandage on it-- be nice to her and then just be friendly.

Most likely she will forget all about it. If she doesn't forget all about it you have zero chance with her anyway so not much effort should be expended one way or another.

I just did something similar and was arguably even worse of a dipshit because of the situation, but just treat it all as a game.

Not talking to women seems to have a profound effect over time for some reason. I'd like to know why that is. Even women you've been in real knife fights with at some point will often just call you up for a bootie call or something like that.

Their behavior is almost inexplicable. I often think that we make up these weird rules and systems for how they behave, when in fact there is often no real explanation and they just behave based on animal instinct. Confidence is obviously a HUGE factor.

Another plan: be cute and endearing in IM, then get her to come out with you, then start kino. Remember it's all just a game. She wants you to seduce her.

One last thing. This sounds really horrible but really isn't. To salvage things, you can often blame the woman for acting strange or unstable. THIS will totally work on her mind. If you are unstable, claim that she is being unstable and back off.

Talk about pathetic. Have you thought that this isn't about you, but about her since YOU were the one running your mouth like a bitch with sand up her vagina. Get over your jealousy and bile! It's not attractive and I am sure if this girl talks to other girls, she will probably tell them that you're a passive aggressive asshole and then look where you will end up. Sad and alone, wanking to internet porn. Great job, Champ.

Oh yeah, learn to hold your liquor better.

Sad.

Apology is in order ASAP.

I think liquor is a terrible idea for the guy. That's just IMO of course but I don't need it and I think it gets in the way, you have to maintain emotional control.

"Apology is in order ASAP."

If she just got out of a relationship, her behavior may itself be passive aggressive (jealousy-making) and weird. Obviously how he deals with that is up to him-- it does sound like he was a prick, but yeah.

IMO, best bet here would be to "just friends" her. Keep her around as a "just friends" and go and meet other women, maybe girls in her circle of acquaintances. You are obviously not going to get any play right now anyway so just back away for the time being and be friendly to her. Tell her you've quit drinking.

Oh, and quit drinking. If this is the first time it has happened to you, let it act as a wakeup call and take the lesson offered.

How can he control the situation when he can barely control himself?

Thank you for the input guys.

As far as the insulting things I said, I had apologize immediately after it happened (next day). Obviously the damage is done when you talk like that to someone but the swift apology does not hurt. Though I did continue to ignore her.

Everything you guys have said is more or less what I have already been thinking.

I have also made it clear, that I am aware any sort of relationship other then maybe a vague friendship is out of the question. Which I am fine with.


Also this is the first time that drinking has affected a social relationship severely, usually when this happens you can say drinking has become a problem. I already have acknowledged this from the day it started.

Thanks,

You should have told HER that rather than telling her you were aware of it. Cut it off with initiative and freeze out. Sounds like you're out of the game, go elsewhere.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
The fun shit doesn't start until you're lying in bed the color of feces with tubes coming out of more holes than you've got. Saw my best friend die that way, it's not a pretty sight. Me, I cut out liquor years ago. Screw that shit, it's a shitty buzz anyway and if I wanna get wasted (and I do NOT wanna get wasted) I'll smoke a piece of weed the size of a peppercorn instead. And that every 2 years or so if that.

Actually that statement was directed to those on this forum/to myself. I never told her this.
Anyways, I will let this thread burnout now.