Hey Ryan,

I hope you can help me out with this. any tips on female roommate game on getting into bed with her?

I have this chick who just moved in with me in a one bedroom apartment. She is taking the living room which is a common room and beside the kitchen and I am in the private bedroom and we share the same bathroom. Its kinda weird she agreed and wanted to move in but I kind of know her from school and how I knew her was from the occassional school parties I go to at bars and I spoke to her over there. Shes a very touchy girl and very flirthy when shes out at a party with a few beers so that was my initial impression of her. And when I asked if she knew anyone would could move in with me, she said I would love to move in and came by my apartment next day and agreed and now shes in my apartment. She also comments on my good dress sense when we are at the bars. She was pretty excited in moving in as I couldn't even get a guy to take the living room but she did!

Now that we share an apartment for just the past 5 days actually, we been pretty good with each other, joking and teasing most of the times. She finds me hilarious but there isn't any kino escalation or seduction going on. Just morning or night hugs so far. I helped her moved and cooked her dinner and we drank wine for the first night but thats was just conversations. Any idea how I should play the roommate game? Should I build comfort rapport with her and become the nice guy or tease her and give her negs and try not seek attention? Activities I can use a chance to kino on her? She does bring up like guys she date and stuff into conversations. Shes like 30 and a 7.5. A FWB relationship would be nice.

I know the post is kinda long but yeah I am wondering how could I approach this since its not the kind of game like a girl I meet at a club

PS: Also I am in a long distance relationship with a girl back home across a few continents but its not going too well either. Should I mention I am in a relationship to her or not if we talk about relationship matters.

This is a really good question, something that a lot of the hardcore direct guys get asked.

Me personally, I don't give a shit about what people think of me any more. I think I do my best to "own" the persona of the honest, direct, flirty guy. What tends to happen if you do that properly, is that girls allow you to get away with more because that who you are. The flirty guy that is sexual from day 1, can get away with slapping his female friends asses and talking dirty shit with them, and they'll just giggle and go "oh Ryan, stop it he he he."

However, if you suddenly start doing that out of nowhere, it will seem incongruent with who you are, and you will be able to get away with a lot less. Some of my older friends (male, for the most part) think that some of the stuff I do now is "creepy," because they are filtering my behaviour through the lens of their past experience of me being more shy and reserved. But the people I'm more recent friends with, assume that's who I am and are fine with it.

So, if you've gone a few years on a small campus where most people kinda know each other, then suddenly being very direct could backfire. If you feel you can mould yourself into that over an extended period of time, along with changing your appearance such as dress, haircut, facial hair, glasses, etc. then do so.

That being said, if you see a girl you don't already know, there is no harm in expressing your romantic interest from the beginning, and taking the interaction from there. If she's not interested, then that's fine. When you see her again, just treat her the same way you'd treat any girl you've spoken to before - be friendly and nice, and maybe you guys can be friends!

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Don't shit where you eat. Do not game her, do not try and sleep with her. Finding a roommate you actually get on with is a rarity in and of itself. Just be happy you have a great new FRIEND and keep it that way. There are plenty of other women (including her hot friends) for you to game.

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Hey Ryan:

Personally I am not very much into direct game, I feel more comfortable with indirect, specially in daygame.
However, I am kinda new to this so, who knows, maybe I will end up using it eventually...

Anyway, a big milestones for me is turning the conversation sexual. I can do it only after talking with a girl for about 45 min and after getting many IOIs.
I would say things like "What is the craziest thing you have done?" or "are you perverted in some way?".

Any idea to bring sexual talk quicker?

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Indirect daygame seems really odd to me, and your question is exactly why! The reason I go direct is precisely because the entire frame of the interaction is set as "hi, I'm interested in getting to know you based on a few superficial qualities, now, tell me about yourself." This means I can be as sexual as I like, as early on in the interaction as I like, whether it means opening by telling her she has a sexy ass, or by flirting and using sexual innuendo throughout the course of the midgame-close (about 5 minutes).

The problem with being INdirect, is that you're always wondering when it's OK to display your sexual interest - watching out for signals to make sure she's definitely attracted before you have the confidence to tell her what you really think. You know what? She ALREADY knows if she would fuck you or not within the first few SECONDS of talking, and there's very little you're gonna do to change that. That's why it's easier to "ask" that question from the very beginning, by immediately telling her you find her attractive, however you want to do that.

Turning the conversation sexual is far easier if you've already been flirting and being sexual from the start. However, if you have waited to do so, then just make sure you do it in a very relaxed, casual way. If you feel weird about it, you'll subcommunicate that and make her feel uncomfortable about it too. I wouldn't say "perverted" because that has negative connotations. You can do a little qualification where you start out asking about if she's spontaneous or if she gets a bit crazy on the weekends when she's drunk, and then talk about what crazy things. On dates, I always like asking what the most random place they've ever had sex in is, because it usually leads to great stories, and gets them talking about and visualising sex.

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hey ryan, great stuff

Just one question to make sure i understand this

youre pretty much saying to the girl "Hey you interest me and i want to get to know you more, but if you dont want to thats cool too since, theres millions of fish in the sea"? project that you "want" to get to know them, but dont "have" to. right?

As long as you dont project neediness, direct game works?

Thanks

Exactly.

If you project neediness, NO game, direct or indirect, will work.

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i just wanted your thoughts on picking up women online? using facebook or POF?

Hey Ryan, I've got another question. How do you hurdle a cock block, like a girl's friend or a jeaulous guy etc

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Ryan I have a couple of questions and they're mainly about getting the girl with you to places.

1- What's the best way to get a solid date if you're either texting or messaging her and she's playing hard to get? (short responses/low investment)


2- Met a girl in a library that I was texting. Did some work, flirted with her a bit while holding eye contact and generally teased her while doing some great qualification about her cooking skills (Said she can make great paella because she's Spanish). I said that she should come to Subway because we were both hungry, she denied and said she wanted to work. I went back to my flat and later text her to see if she wanted to watch a movie. She said she couldn't because her sister was coming over. She was way into me in the library, I sensed my eye contact was making her panties wet. Don't know why she didn't comply.
- How In that situation could I've got her back to my place?

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I tried POF and a few other sites, and met one or two girls from there over time. I found them ALL to be consistently fucked in the head and not particularly attractive.

Me personally, I KNOW that if a girl were to ever become attracted to me, she would do so during one of my direct approaches where I display confidence, humour and honesty. There is no way to communicate that as effectively online, so I don't bother approaching any other way.

Recently, I saw a girl who came to one of our parties post on my friend's wall. I didn't get the chance to talk to her at the party, so I sent her a quick FB message telling her I found her attractive, but didn't get the opportunity to hit on her at the party, so I wanted to set up a time to do that later this week. I'll let you know how that goes

Honestly though, it takes no balls at all to send a message over the internet telling a girl she's fucking sexy. It takes A LOT to do that in person, stone cold sober, and deliver it with complete confidence. That's why gaming in real life is ALWAYS going to be a better bet. Plus, any girl who's really hot and is relatively normal will have so many guys chasing her, she wouldn't have the time or energy to put her profile on POF or anything else, or read the 100s of messages she'd get every day.

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Be really friendly and polite to them. Engage them in the conversation so they don't feel left out or jealous at the attention you're giving their friend. After they're comfortable with you and enjoy your company, find a reasonable opportunity to ask if you can borrow your target, and take her away far enough so you can have a private conversation, but close enough so that they can see she is OK.

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1. Lots of stuff:
- CALL her
- Make sure she understands WHY you want to meet
- Make your invite fun and unique
- Text her random stuff and generally have a bit of rapport / banter going. Endless invites are value seeking and creepy
- Make it clear in your initial interaction WHY you're getting her number in the first place
- Build a connection during your initial interaction over at least one common interest. Make that common interest the basis of your next invite, or better yet, set up the next date during the initial pickup, rather than afterwards.

2. Maybe she was actually busy? You can't possibly know. And girls will flake on you ALL THE TIME. There's nothing you can really do about it, apart from be texting so many girls that you literally just forget about the ones that don't get back to you. The main way to reduce flaking is to get her to commit to something when you're actually there with her. If she said no to your Subway idea, then just say "ok well we gotta do something this week then - is Wednesday or Thursday better for you?" and go from there. The forced dichotomy of two alternatives is great because it gives her a choice, but does not include the option of "no."

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Ryan, all this your doing is awesome! I mean, I am learning alot just reading from other peoples questions and your answers to them. Anywho, I would like to ask something.

Me and this girl I met just went on our first date, 3 days ago. It started with a hug and got all the way to caressing and a make out. In a text conversation the next day she said we should hang out, I said "heck yeah, where at?", she said "my bed". I didnt say anything back and she texted again and said "Jk, your not allowed in there...yet ". I said "Oh if you saw me in my sexy bed outfit you would be beggin ". I also asked about hanging out and watching a movie for our second meet. She said that would be awesome.

Its now three days after the date, and we were texting, but we havent really set anything up and the texting has sort of been "bleh" today. If you want me to write the text out I can. But basically, how should I approach this? We havent done a second date, but we did make out on the first one, but I doubt im in the position where I need a mini freeze. Whats the best way to get into a good place where I can sexually escalate, because I will go for the lay if I can (after KINO and all that stuff obviously).

after a date, when do u make a next call to arrange the next date?