I have been with my girlfriend for about 5months now, everything is good except her attention seeking

she's always had a lot of guy mates but flirts with them a fair bit as just a joke. She can also be quite suggestive with them too, again i'm told its just a joke. I do believe that she'd never do anything but at the same time dont understand why she has to be like this with other guys. It makes me feel on edge. She also talks about meeting up with guys who are just mates, despite several of them telling her they want her. To me her agreeing to meet them gives them hope and looks to me like she's dating other guys to see what she can get. Am i being silly?

When she's out guys are all over her and she loves it, again just a laugh. But i hate to think of another guy getting anything from my girlfriend or getting anywhere with her

how can i stop feeling so horrid when she's having these interactions with other guys? And how can i give her all the attention she needs to stop her flirting with other guys so much?

I feel that she's making me look silly, cos my girlfriend is like this with other guys. People must think i'm such a mug?

"And how can i give her all the attention she needs to stop her flirting with other guys so much?"
IMO the last thing you want to do is to give her attention. If she's only doing it for kicks as you claim and genuinely isn't/ won't cheat then I think she's just found your niche and decided to exploit it to get you jealous and envious, because it makes you tick.

It's her way of keeping you on your toes and to make her one-up in your relationship. If you don't want that happening you've got a few ways.
1. Ignore her completely and socialize with your group of mates during parties and wait till she comes to you.
2. Be in amongst it when she's flirting pointing it out to the guys she's flirting with that she wants them etc etc, make it so you are in on the joke. I don't think you should AMOG them as it seems it is your girl who is controlling the interaction and AMOGing would only make you look silly.
3. Flirt with other girls
Depending on how she is/ her personality, she is going to react to atleast one of them and you respond accordingly after.

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My philosophy:
Hit and quit till you find one that you see fit!

I think this is good advice. On the other hand, if she doesn't get it and keeps crossing your boundaries, well you know what you should do.

I don't claim to be an expert on relationships and my name certainly is not Dr. Phil.

However, there comes a point in a relationship where the reason it "functions" or "doesn't function" is because each partner is attentive to (notices) and empathetic to (cares) the needs/wants/desires of the other person.

For a minute, forget all of the fucking voodoo gibberish bullshit and jedi mind tricks (don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, lol). But put that shit aside for a second and stop worrying about how it should be, what should or shouldn't be acceptable, how it should or shouldn't make you feel, what she should or shouldn't do..

Instead focus on this one thing:

If she doesn't NOTICE or CARE that it bothers you, what does that say about her and how much she values you?

People are different. My most recent ex was a serial flirt with other guys. But there was something insidious there, from day one I knew it, there was a dark intention with that flirtation. There are two different types of flirting:

- THE TOTALLY INNOCENT AND FUNNY KIND
- EVERYTHING ELSE

LOL

The majority of people here will say: don't be fazed, freeze her out, and blahbity-blah, and I get it, I do...but I would be more likely to just let her go...that's me...if a woman wants (or needs) to flirt with tons of other guys...she doesn't need to be in a relationship. So I would park the jedi mind tricks in the garage and just say "sweetie, it's obvious that you'd rather have your cake and eat it too, tell you what, you've got it, call me when you wanna fuck, other than that, do what you want."

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

NO. No no no no no no no. Why do you put up with this from her? Do you not have any standards for the women you decide to date? MechanisM's post was good but doing all of that is completely unnecessary. Do not put yourself through all of that.

While the issue here is the girlfriend, playing games with her will only end up with more and more games till she calls it quits. Does that sound healthy? She likes attention from other guys. I say that you should let her go be with them, break up with her. There isn't anything wrong with her liking other guys but you cant expect to take a girl like that and tie her down to you.
Yeah, jokes are funny bro. Wait, your not laughing though are you?

I know the rational side of you is trying to figure out a reason and a solution. There is none. You're not going to change who she is. No ultimatum or love poem is gonna change her.
Why? 5 months in and she is already THAT disrespectful? Sit down and really ask yourself. Smoke a bowl if you smoke or whatever, get in your happy place and ask yourself, "Where do you see this another 5 months from now?"

From what you've told me, I dont see anything good coming from this. She is accustomed to living this certain lifestyle and has no plans to stop regardless of how it hurts you. You're playing Mr Fix-it and losing sleep over it. Does this sound like something worth keeping?

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A Tru nigga

David X says, and I agree with him, that the foundations of ANY relationship are

Honesty
Trust, and
Respect

All these issues are involved here.

If you really trust her, then you shouldn't have to worry what she says to these guys because you know that nothing will actually happen.

However, if you feel that she's purposely courting the attention of guys, either for the validation, or to purposely make you feel jealous, then that shows a lack of respect for you.

The answer is to be completely honest with her. I usually choose the time after sex to have a bit of a serious relationship discussion, because it's the most open and honest conversation you can have. Just tell her that you're totally fine with her having guy friends and you're not a controlling person, but you feel the way she flirts with them, in front of you, shows a lack of respect towards you, and does she not see how that might come across? How would she like it if you flirted with lots of other girls in front of her? So please tone it down.

The thing about jealousy is that it's a combination of your own insecurities and the amount you've emotionally invested in her. If you KNOW you can fuck her better than any other guy, then there isn't a guy on earth that you'd feel threatened by, and therefore no matter what she did, flirting-wise, with him, wouldn't bother you. Similarly, if you KNOW that if she walked out the door for no reason tomorrow, you could be fucking some other girl that night, then that fear of losing her is pretty small and your attitude is more "yeah go ahead buddy, give it your best shot" rather than "OMG HE'S TRYING TO STEAL THAT PUSSY I OWN"

Despite this, it is worth having the conversation and just making it clear that you do care about her, but you have rules and you feel that she's disrespecting you by what she's doing and has to stop.

If your GF is being hit on in a situation where you don't know the guy, then the simple, non-reactive, alpha, confident way to deal with the situation is simple. Walk over, put your left arm around her waist as you say hi to her, and then introduce yourself to the guy(s) and shake their hand. It makes it very clear she's your woman, but you're smiling and being so polite that nobody could possibly be a dick to you.

If she's being hit on by guys in your own group, then it might be worth having the same respect talk with them, asking them how they'd feel if you hit on their GFs in front of them.

In general, if you're having the time to be noticing what she's doing so much, it probably means you're not actually having fun in your own interaction. If you just enjoy yourself with your friends, and go around meeting random people, guys and girls, then you'll spend less time worrying what she's up to in the first place.

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