We all bring different things to the table. I can't tell you that I've waxed my lance a lot. It's far from zero, and I'm much better off than objective statistical standards. But by the standards of urban players, I've had long dry spells, and for my age it's definitely been an undersexed life. I did, however, manage to avoid marrying any cuckoo birds. I'm not divorced with kids in tow. I'm not getting over any emotional damage from abusive relationships. When I read the online personals, with all these women who had kids with some loser, or who were the loser themselves, I feel a lot better about my situation. I'm basically emotionally healthy, I've just had some career issues that got in the way for awhile. Because of this, I feel I can give everyone here the short course on emotional health. I think it would answer a lot of questions if people consistently applied these 2 ideas to their lives:

• Be honest with yourself about your own baggage. Don't lie to yourself about it. Understand your problems. Work through them. Find solutions.
• Do not allow emotionally unhealthy people into your lives. Get them OUT. Keep them out.

There, that's it. Know yourself, and have standards. Problems solved.

When you are honest with yourself, it is much easier to coldly and objectively see how messed up someone else is. People lie to themselves about what's in front of them because they want to believe something else.

I'm glad they help you with your self confidence Such short course does not exist That sounds as easy as snapping your fingers. You can be very honest with yourself as much as you want,if you're involved emotionally it's not easy at all.That's one of the reasons people post here,they don't see the situation clearly.

You can talk about 3 million things you need to do on a case-by-case basis, or you can talk about the 2 things you need to do all the time. Call it a mantra. Call it simple rules that actually work.

Thanks for the post. I agree although we may not like to think about it, we must be honest about ourselves. I find it most helpful to take a step back and look at myself as if I were another person giving me advice. With this mindset you find alot of things obvious that you would normally overlook.

People come here when they start to understand their problems and start to work through them. Its their way of finding the solutions

Actually it does.

Here's another one, even shorter.

Operate based on how people make YOU feel. If you feel bad, kick 'em to the curb.

The end.

nice

To the Original Poster,

Good post!

Here is my short course on emotional health (it's three steps):

1. It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.
2. It's better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.
3. It's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

interesting rules mack
about the original post, i was just gonna say that along there somewhere you forgot that you only get to live once, you're too damn secure about everything

Why does emotional health have to be such a complex subject?

In my experience, trying to navigate through "rules for emotional health" sounds like a recipe for disaster in a number of ways. Do what you feel like.

Manipulators are so good at snowing you that if you get into "rules" you will drive yourself around the bend trying to figure out a situation that is getting crazier and crazier.

Simplest: cut to the heart of the issue.

How do *I* feel? How does this person make ME feel? Go so far as to keep a journal of how you feel after talking to her. It may be that you are consistently feeling bad.

I could tell some stories about this sort of thing. I hung out with an old girlfriend for coffee today and she was SO unpleasant and judgemental that I wonder what the fuck I ever saw in her.