Hi PUAs,

Situation:

There is this girl in my class although she is not a 10, I would say around 7 or 8 there is something about her that I cannot get over. At first, she sat on the other side of the classroom alone I did notice her but there is always this guy that went up to her and talked to her after class and he even ditched his guy buddy in class and went to sit beside her once. Later on I found out that this guy tried to ask every girl in class for coffee and for their facebook. Anyways, later on in the semester I have no idea what happened but she started to sit beside me (probably because some people took over her spot on the other side although I am sure there is like one spot for her over there anyways) But one day all of a sudden she sat back on the other side, and now she sits beside me again.

Her in person:
She is around 5'3, less than 100 pounds. She is a latina that loves asian culture a lot. She does not really care about how others think of her, and she would not change herself for anyone which means she is a tough cookie. She does not show her feelings much, she looks kind of cold but inside she is a sweet girl when I found out that she cried for the people in Japan. I found out that she likes korean music which I do as well, so I used that excuse to ask her to send me some videos and I got her on facebook now. So I first started off writing her private messages and she usually would reply back to me pretty soon. And I think the week before I added her, she ignored everyone's text and facebook because of her facebook and she apologized. She told her friend few weeks back that she would text her when she has time. And she usually posts news articles on fb, and her friends comment on them, but she does not comment back on there. She just became single a month ago too. She is pretty quiet and always on her laptop in class. But since we private messaged each other, while she is on her laptop she started saying random things a little more now so I would listen to what she says. And because she is passionate about korean music and she seems interesting and cute looking, some guys would ask her to go for coffee and some guy even asked her to marry him. And she said isn't this a bit too soon? she feels like they are moving too fast, and he said he moves quickly baby. And she did not reply back to him. I have a feeling that she does not like to be lonely and likes romance.

I also read PUA forums too, and I know I am having this wussy behavior right now. I think about her as soon as I have free time, I do not want to read her fb but cannot help it, etc. But a good thing is that unlike some of the guys I do not message her everyday, but when I get a reply back, I usually would reply back to her though. I do not give her too much attention in person, because I think that she is pretty introvert but on facebook I do...

So please give me some advices, thanks!

Don't put yourself down for actually liking this girl, most of the people in this forum myself included have been through phases of minimizing women but women are amazing and the quality ones are the ones I want in my life to ultimately find the right one.

If she's a reserved girl and you've been kind of reserved but have shown enough interest for her you've already established a connection with her, I think its great that you picked up on her being a little shy and haven't been pushing things in class but you're in a great position to take her out OUTSIDE of class, sounds you could do fun small things like going to a bookstore or WHATEVER you guys could enjoy together.

WTF does that mean? what does anyone else know to judge how you feel about someone? You're doing good, it seems you're naturally tactful with this situation, just don't be afraid to keep moving on diligently.

Best Luck!

_________________
* A grain of salt™

"Nah man, I love women, they are beautiful and delicate...
but I still warm up to "99 Problems" before approaching" lol

Hey man!! Thanks for the reply, but what did you mean by the first paragraph? Did I make it sound like she is too good for me that kind of thing?

Her parents look reserved, I think she is too. She does not look like a slut or anything, usually sluts are a lot more outgoing. But how do i show enough interest for her but not too much? Like yesterday that guy who always went up to her before asked her what's up? And she said not too much. That was the conversation.. And plus I think she has a crush already or at least heart broken still from her ex a month ago, is it too risky to approach then? Personally, I get shy and awkward in front of a crush..but if I don't have a crush with the girl I can be one of the coolest guys ever. Over half of my friends are female and most of my close friends are girls. Like yesterday I bummed into my old school on the bus, I busted her balls, we teased each other and I could feel that there could be a possibility that she started to feel attracted to me. But the problem is that when I like someone, I like only one girl...I cannot like more than one at the same time and that is a huge flaw.

And I admire you already, bro when you said take her to the bookstore. She actually works at a bookstore and she enjoys reading!! *thumbs up* And thanks for the compliment, my bestfriend in elementary is a girl and I tend to get along with girls easier than with guys so you can say I am sensitive and sort of have the intuition to feel what girls like, they don't like etc.

What my quote meant is that I feel like a beginner still. Usually guys that have dated less than 10 girls would feel like that.. I am making the common mistakes that beginners do.

But ya, this is the latest conversation we had, but I see that she came onto facebook but she did not reply to me like she used to do last week when I added her.

Me:
Hey i just saw you at the food court, and waved at you but you did not see it lol

Her:
Oh sorry~
I'm on my way there again rn

Me:
Haha no problem. I left already. Usually i would have left school, but i was meeting a friend there
What is rn?

Her:
rn = right now
I went there and got juice. And just woke up from a nap.

Me:
That sounds like the life there. Do you actually live in school? I would like to find a place and stay there overnight, so I don't have to come all the way to school again the next day since I live kind of far away

Her:
nah. I do live close to the school, but I spend more time at school than I do at home. The advantage is that the comm centre has a whole bunch of couches where you could sleep on. I think maybe I should get a pillow and a blanket and keep them in my car~ I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stay overnight sometime in these next two weeks.

Me:
Nice. Ya I got to spend some time at school after class yesterday, it felt really nice. I used to be at school all the time. Or you can park at school and sleep in your car so you don't have to find a parking spot the next day Big Grin Is comm centre the EC building? And have fun staying with the other smelly students XD

Her:
Nah~ comm centre is the entire O-wing. It's still too cold to sleep in my car.......
Ya! None of us are smelly Sad

Me:
where is o-wing? All I know is the t-wing...oh! And Gundam wings. Ya and plus in the morning when people walk by, they see your face covered with drools hahahaha.
I did not know MRU lets people to stay overnight now, I only know U of C does. I should start sleeping at school pretty often then

Her:
If you're walking to the T-wing from main street on the second floor, it's those glass doors on the left.
I don't know if they "allow us" more like you can stay at school as long as you sign up at the after hours list......

Me:
hmm..I am debating on if I should take that risk or not. Last week I accidentally walked into the handicap washroom at school then quickly walked out of there. And eva, there is no "us" I prefer to sleep alone in the corner :O

Her:
I'm not getting something here. Do I want to know what you saw in the handicap washroom?

Me:
Nope, there was nothing special in there except for privacy and lots of space and two bars to help standing up
And what I meant about taking the risk is that I may walk into weird places again like I always do, so if i try to go into o-wing heck knows where I will end up at

Her:
LOL there's only one way in and out of the o-wing, so you'll be okay.

Me:
I have a feeling that I may find a secret door aka ceiling, so there will be one way in two ways out Wink jk. But ya to what you said earlier, do you want to study for Japanese culture together?

Alright dude...
This kind of talk you should get rid of, you're reminding her of your failed attempt at getting her attention, dont worry its not that huge of a deal now but its important to never put yourself down like this.

I feel like you asking her was unthoughtful and too bland, we'll find out, you just need a LITTLE more directness or you'll fall in the friend zone, be careful. You should analyze it and tell yourself how you failed to escalate by asking that question. Just a little better would've been something like "Hey lets study together for jap. culture at so and so coffee shop or so and so part of the school or WHATEVER more interesting. You really want to use a girl's imagination as one of your tools to attract her.

Do you know what she was thinking when she asked you About you fucking her from behind in that handicap restroom as her tits rubbed on the mirror and your belt buckles clinked against the floor, people outside being suspicious about the moans. I dont know how much in "cute little pink pony and happy rainbows" love you are with her, but if you want to fuck her at all, that was your clue, try to recognize THOSE moments and comments in the future. Your job isn't done but she is really just hoping you can step up and escalate tactfully.

Summary, stop asking and start leading more, good job so far.
Best Luck!

_________________
* A grain of salt™

"Nah man, I love women, they are beautiful and delicate...
but I still warm up to "99 Problems" before approaching" lol

Wow, I am glad that I can get help from you. I hope it is cool that I reply to this more often and that you won't get annoyed by it haha. Are you Mexican by the way? I met my last girlfriend in Mexico.

Do you think that girls are too complicated? It feels like we have to watch our every word, our every movement in order to attract her. Also, falling into the friend's zone is really hard to get out? I thought that hey want to study together is straightforward answer and is good but nevermind. Since she did not respond to my question, it is hard to ask her again in a different way. It is as if I am being annoying about it. She does not seem like the type of girl that wants to see a guy try harder for her. For example in her fb she answered a question Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? She said Don't care either way. And plus I just started talking to her like few weeks ago. In class, we barely talked, the reason is that she sits on my left hand side, my buddy sits on my right hand side and my buddy keeps talking to me. And my buddy's girl cousin also bugs me a lot and yesterday took my cellphone so I tried to get it back from her while my crush was there.

I don't get the washroom part though, you think she was hinting me something? But she does not look like a slut at all. Or are you saying that she wanted me to fuck her? So from that conversation and so far, you think she is a little interested in me? I also read that on her facebook she is into romance and a question was that do you want to be in a relationship 3 months from now? Her answer is hope so.

Thanks mentor, what should my next steps be? Since I blew off the chance of asking her to study together.

Lol thanks dude but dont call me mentor please, Im glad to help with what I can.

Girls are NOT complicated and neither should we complicate them in our minds, you can literally ask a girl to comply to ANYTHING, as long as you dont have the vibe of a serial killer with herpes she will usually comply or refuse for a moment just to test your balls...you must have balls of steel to show her that regardless of her initial response you still want to have her, try it again later. IF she actually stops you for real just stop and move on, SO WHAT? Absolutely no harm was done to you by a girl saying "Sorry I cant fuck you because blah blah blah".

Most girls will have fun dirty hook ups with you just because its easier and more rewarding to hook up than not, just remember to always be discreet, let her choose how public she wants your relationship or friendship to be.

Dont ask her again, she could have an infinite list of excuses not to answer you yet, just hang in there, she knows you like her but you've already given her too much power.

It can go 2 ways, she likes you enough to forgive you one more time for giving her too much power or she might make up her mind right now and not give you another chance, either way chill out and enjoy the ride, next time you want to fuck a girl, you will actually try to fuck her...I hope that makes sense, all it takes to fuck a girl is to try.

Ask away but always try to answer yourself first, when you start catching yourself before you make a bad decision you will start seeing things differently.

What to do next? you can mix this the-newbie-mission-vt41556.html with more escalation on all the girls you're even slightly attracted to, "more escalation" can be something as small as staying an extra couple of minutes than you normally would, or running your fingers caressing her arm or the skin of her lower back, smelling her hair, ANYTHING that you think is a bad idea because you're not used to it but you KNOW you would like to do, thats the good stuff.

Best Luck!

_________________
* A grain of salt™

"Nah man, I love women, they are beautiful and delicate...
but I still warm up to "99 Problems" before approaching" lol