Hey guys,

I have developed feelings for one of my close friends. Honestly, I'm still pretty much an AFC and am completely clueless where I stand with her. Some moments, I think she is trying to tell me that she likes me and then there are others when I think she's simply stringing me along. So, if you guys could read over where my relationship with this friend has gone over the last few months and tell me where I stand/how I should respond to her, it would be a huge help!

We met this October and spoke frequently just about general college stuff and we got sort of close. Then, I ended up kind of making fun of her with some friends in late November and she apparently was extremely hurt by that and refused to talk to me for about a month. I chased her hard but she refused to do anything but talk to me about school stuff.

Then, in January we started to frequently talk again, but I eventually got annoyed because she often would not respond to my texts or return my calls. I told her off one day, and she broke down crying. We didn't talk again for a week. She told me after that that she genuinely cared about me and that I really hurt her.

Following that, she started to confide more deeply in me. First of all, she frequently asked me about what girls I found attractive and asked lots of questions about my old girlfriend. She also would talk a lot about this one guy she liked. She constantly asked my advice on how to handle herself around him (ya I know, this is the blind leading the blind here). Eventually, her whole relationship with him feel apart and she called me crying about it two nights in a row. The second night I went to her room and comfort her but she just ended up kicking me out of her room after 15 minutes.

Finally, I decided to cut the strings with her for a few weeks and see what she'd do. After about a week, she sent me a text telling me she wanted to see me that night. I showed up to meet her and she wasn't there. I asked where she was and she told me it was too cold and far for her to leave her dorm. I was pissed and swore I wouldn't talk 2 her again. Of course, the next time she called, though, I went running. She spoke to me again the next night and we did meet up. We talked and laughed and she said she really missed me. The next day, she invited me to dinner with her and went out of her way to meet me outside one of my classes. However, now she has gone back to acting very distant with me.

I'm sorry this is such a long post. However, I have no fucking clue where I stand with this girl. I really do like her as a person and can hold a conversation with her better than with most other girls (I know..i have a bit of oneitis here). So, what should I do/is there any hope for this relationship?

You are fucking up bad.

Women are psychologically and emotionally programmed to do two things:

- Test men in search of a strong and masculine partner
- Maximize other male attention in the form or orbiters

Not calling you, not showing up, giving you bullshit guilt trips, etc. Those are shit tests. You have failed thus far.

Her calling you, confiding in you, talking to you about OTHER GUYS, etc. This is her putting you firmly in the friendzone, but still wanting to keep your male attention a part of her life.

Here is the thing, you have done nothing to make yourself attractive to this girl. You have failed her shit tests, you have thrown hissy fits and told her off, you have come running back like a lapdog after she disrespected you. Think about ALL OF THIS as tests of your "manhood", how would you say you've done thus far?

See the problem.

You need to give this girl a reason to see you as a strong, viable, male sexual partner. Not some weenieboy.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I totally get what you are saying. However, I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to respond to her "shit tests." Do I just ignore her? Tell her off for doing things ditching me and then just refuse to talk to her when she tries to meet with me later? Do I just come out and tell her that I think she should go out with me? The thing is is that I don't know how to read her. Should I look at those shit tests as IOIs or just her way of trying to throw me in the friend zone and keep me there?

I am an RAFC. I'm always willing to offer my advice, but I also know my limits. You need some PUA/mPUA advice on this. I'll give you my two cents though...

I believe you need to:
- Stop being reactive and be proactive in the situation
- Build and maintain a strong sexual frame
- Generate way more attraction in this girl

How to do it? That isn't my forte. Hopefully somebody will be along with some suggestions, or you could read on how to do that above list. As an RAFC, I realize what you need to do, but I would be full of shit giving you specific advice on how to do it tailored to your situation.

Good luck. If it's any consolation, I think she genuinely likes you or she wouldn't be so back-and-forth and be keeping you around.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Looks like you have same story like i have. there was a blonde girl that loved me, but i didnt noticed. so she went after my friend, maybe to make me jealous, i dont know. this taked about 2 months of my time. bad is that i travel with her to the school everyday, and travel by train lasts 1 hour. i tried a lot of stuff on her. after some time she told me what was she feeling to me before, and that now, it isnt same. she just wants to be friend with me, but i really dont want it to end like this. Mate, i thing that if we fucks a lot of stuff in a row, we cant get chance from the same girl again. its very needy. there is a lot of woman out there that we deserve