So this has happend twice this week now first was with a new female manager at my work hb8 i could just feel myself going bright red another manager said to her this is our very own casanova here an i just went bright red.
two other people in there my friends told me i went bright red an they took the piss a bit but i just laughed it off.

an then today i was in work an there was this baby in the pram smiling at me an just been a happy little chap so i get into a bit of banter with his mum even though i have no intension of sleeping with her i go bright red again i managed to fire of a few questions like how old is he but i hate the feeling of going red.

I want to get this sorted asap but im unsure as where to start the only guess i can think of is to just approach randoms an just go threw the shame of going red until it goes will this work how many will i have to do tbh iv never cold approached a girl in the street but im thinking differntley now an rejection is just absoulte nonsense why should i care so weekend i will hit town in the day an approach with the intension to get rejected.

any other ideas iv been trying self talk making visions in my head when im confident an anchoring them im not sure if this anchoring is workin or not but iv only been doing it 2 days how long does it take before your subconsious mind picks up on it, also im not sure if im even doing it right i just played maybe a 15 minute story of me as cristiano ronaldo an went threw his day from gettin up to nailing a hottie an how easy it would be then anchored, can you anchor many differnt scenarios in your head as the same anchor for confidence ??? please help im on the urge of some major progress just need that little boost .

I know exactly what you are going through.

This used to happen to me when I was a teenager and into my early twenties.

It comes largely from a sense of embarrassment over your own sexual intent or attraction to a female. It is exacerbated by anxiety.

You need to learn to be calm (and confident) about stepping outside of your comfort zone and talking to women. Why get embarrassed over something they clearly want to? (that being a slice of your manschlong)

How old are you? You need to focus on becoming OKAY with being a sexual being, and the embarrassment and anxiety of being a sexual being will go away, as will its associated "red face".

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I think you hit the nail on the head, and like a lot of life's problems, deep down we know how to deal with them.

The more women you talk to, the less you're going to get embarrassed. And yeah, it may take a while, but the more effort you put in now the quicker it will be. And whenever talking to someone, remember to breathe (into your stomach)... It may sound obvious but will help to stop blood rushing to your head.

As for the positive thoughts, keep them up but I would recommend replacing Cristiano Ronaldo in your imagination with YOU... Other wise you're just having a day dream about all the sex he can get!

Hope this helps dude, good luck!

Crayon

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All the worlds a stage... So find your light dammit!

well im 22 how does one go about being in touch with your sexual side,

my social circle is a popular one a big mixed group with a few 9,s in there i can speak to them fine probaly because im not realy intrested in sleeping with them as i dont realy go for friends, a bit of flirting an that but thats all.

i think maybe i need to find the root of my problems probaly because in highschool i was a fat kid with ginger hair but i still had a popular group in school
now im slim an my ginger hair has gone on its own to brown people still call me it but i just laugh it off nowadays it unaffects me.

im hitting the gym now an just making chit chat with coustomers in work smiling at them trying to make converstation i read somewhere if you assume rapport then it helps anyone agree with this.

and iv only started doing anchors an positive self talk since monday how long does this stuff take to work.

im quite happy with my life tbh i love life infact i have a good group of friends people want to be around me because of my laidback carefree nature an my little cheeky side.

my problems are building rapport with stranger or people iv just met my mind just goes BLANK.

cheers for the reply guys appreciated.

No, your problems are:

- you turn bright red
- you get anxious
- your mind goes blank

If this happens, especially, when you talk to women, it's because you are not comfortable with your role as a man approaching a woman. EMBARRASSMENT.

You have massive (basically "debilitating") approach anxiety.

Find some reading material to help you with this.

I used to be like you. What cured it for me?

- Age, you genuinely just become more confident with age

- Sexual Experience, I've been having sex for almost 20 years, I've learned I'm a sexual being, and it's no longer a conflict within myself that I need to resolve or hide or compensate for, it just is ... me

- Practice, I talk to every woman that I encounter, standing in line at the grocery store, I strike up conversation with the lady behind me, with the cashier, with the woman parked next to me in the parking lot. See the idea?

With age, sexual experience and overall life experience, in addition to lots and lots of constant practice (basically immersion) you will develop a level of comfort in talking to people that you simply can not fake.

There is no magical answer or super-secret technique for you to "not be nervous" when talking to a beautiful woman. The answer is the multi-pronged approach listed above. Two of those things you can't affect: age and experience. One of them you can: practice.

What sucks about guys like you and me is that when we get nervous, the whole world knows, because our faces turn into a boiled lobster.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!