This has been hard pouring out my heart into this thing. I know its long. But give it a chance and read it. It was harder for me to write it than for you to read it. See if you can give me some insight.


I'm tired. And frustrated. I dont even know where to put this thread, so if you feel there's a better place for it. Move it please

Where do I start? That's the big question. Maybe you can help me out, because I don't really know who can anymore. Maybe I'm hopeless....maybe not.

History:

Years 0-13 typical, adhd kid, getting in trouble all the time. Always looking for excitement

years 13-18 Highschool, no social skills, few friends, play diablo2 instead of fucking girls. Did gymnastics for 10 years, should have been getting major hotties. Nope.

Final year of highschool, quit gymnastics, did track and wrestling. Started drinking, got into social circles, partied alot, got alittle respect, but still was branded a socially inept character. Got respect from sports, should have been pulling ass. Nope. Should have been pulling party sluts. Nope.

Moved on to college. Went to a school in richmond. Was in good shape from wrestling and gymnastics. Should have been pulling dorm bitches. Nope.

Second year of college. Got my own place, more partying. Cheerleader for the school. Should have been pulling cheerleader ass. Nope.



Decided to work on my confidence, so I started buying new clothes, looking for style and confidence. Starting working on social skills. Those were lacking all my life. Always been a harsh character.

Moved out from school due to too much partying, Moved in to my parents place. No real social interactions with people my age.

Decided to have parties at my parents mansion. Had many good parties. Met a lot of people, gained alot of notoriety in the area. Should have been pull ass. Nope.

18th Bday party massive at he mansion. The girl I was getting on with passed me over and blew three of my friends. Really.

Last few years less partying. More djing at various clubs and parties. Should be pulling ass as a DJ. Nope.

Met this gorgeous girl, started hitting it off slowly. Just friends, but saw her a few times more a year.

Read the game, decided to make some changes. Did alot of work on social skills, tried to be nice to girls and tried different approaches. Ass? Nope.

The girl I really liked, started hanging out more. Hung out a few times over the summer. Made out with her at the club. Thought I was hot shit, thought it was going to turn around from here. Girl tells me shes got a man in some other country. Really? I try to cut her off. Major oneitis after seeing her for around 4 years.

I try to change it, make her like me. Invite her to some snowboarding trip, she tells me she wants to go. Ends up flaking on me last minute, tells me her parents won't let her. Blown.

See her status online one day, shes making a trip to some far away country over the summer. I get it now. Super blown. For real now its over.


Now:

Recently moved out. Got my own place. Bunch of dudes. Bros get laid, I get passed over. All the time. Just like the rest of my life.

Reoccurring theme: All the time, at parties, at get together, or just even at chance encounters, friends get the girls, I get passed over. All the fucking time.

Even if girls are having the best time with me, at the end of the night they just slip away and get with my bros. Kinda like musical chairs, I'm the one left standing at the end of the night.

I don't get it?

what the fuck?

My friends don't have to do anything, I mean girls just come up to them and lock in with them. I don't get anything. I'm I just fucked up or something? I just feel like I get the short end of the stick. I don't get it.

I almost don't want to hang out with any of my friends anymore. I just might rever to my afc self and download some video games. Just like the old days. They don't have to do shit.

Its grinding on my mind. My roommates got a new flavor of the week moaning up stairs and I haven't gotten a chicks number at the bar because I'm too busy doing accounting homework.

Where do I start? I'm all gassed out. I'm giving up on girls, don't want to chase anymore. I never win. I just rather bury myself in school work and working on my music and DJing. Theres more pay off in that.

Could you give an example of your game? What did you say, how did she respond ect. There could be any number of things you're doing wrong, perhaps you're getting friend-zoned, displaying too much interest, not displaying enough interest, failing shit tests, DLVing...

The only help I can throw your way at the moment is this: always know that you deserve what you want in life; women would be lucky to have you, not the other way around! Know it and act like you know it!

_________________
One cannot lose what one has never had.

ok, i read your whole post (so don't think this is some cocky or retarded response that i give you, it will be a simple response, only because i have the age and perspective of being about twice your age to offer, ok?)

1. that shit is the past (which you clearly seem to want to change) - You Can Do It

2. no one is hopeless (even autistic dudes who don't comb their hair can get laid with proper game) - You Can Do It

3. you really need to sarge alone. seriously. (you need to work on "YOU", so that you can go into any bar and pick up a chicks) - You Can Do It

4. you are locked into a self-repeating pattern. from reading your story, i have no doubt that you are creating these patterns in your life where the same thing happens over and over again. (YOU MAY NOT THINK SO, but trust me, you are. and once you accept that, you will be able to target specific things in your life so that you can fundamentally make a shift)

here is what you have going for you:

1. you are seriously fed up with your self-repeating pattern

2. you are young and really need to get over the fact that (as a kid) you didn't get any pussy. seriously, get over it. yeah dude, you were a tool and never had game in school, wahhh, *plays violin*, get over it, that's the past. you need to cut that shit out of your heart/soul so you can move forward. i'm serious. because if your personality sends out even 1% of the self-doubt and uneasiness and self-loathing that you feel about yourself because you didn't get laid in school, the girls are going to pick up on the fact that you are missing something - actual confidence (and comfort with who you are as a person).

3. it's never too late. listen to some of these mpua's, they were JUST LIKE YOU, they didn't start having game until well into their twenties after realizing the error of their ways and adapting/evolving their methods and ways, and voila! they started getting pussy

4. here is the one that's really going to get you: you have probably been so close to having pussy so many times, but then you did the same wrong thing, a small thing, each time, and ... poof! ... the pussy vanished. this thought should encourage you because it means that once you really apply yourself to this, you will be able to pinpoint what is actually happening with you. not your insecurities, not your history, not whether or not The Gods love you, lol, but technically what you need to change, and you will start getting laid.

5. what you need now is to develop your game independent of your friends. i think it would healthy for you to learn how to pick up chicks ... solo. you've got friend baggage, "your friends" have been fucking and getting blown by all of the chicks you have liked for your whole life, you are going to unconsciously emanate self-doubt around them until you master your game.

you can do it!

You're definitely thinking too much about all of this mate! You have no reason to dwell on the past.. you've realised that you're doing wrong, now all you need to do is start trying to put it right. You learn from your mistakes, if you try something and it doesn't work, so what, you know what not to do next time!

One of my best friends is 20 and he's only ever kissed 1 girl, he's extremely desperate, and the reason he gets no action is because he tries too hard, and if you try too hard a lot of the time it becomes unnatural and becomes needy. If he chilled out and tried to be more relaxed about situations, i genuinely believe he'd do a hell of a lot better.

Same applies to you my friend, you'll be fine, just try and experiment with your methods and see what suits you best!

ok not going to be long winded about this as I could be.... (too much english lit in my head for own good)...

1 - Stop putting yourself down, confidence is more than you think, smile when entering a room, keep yourself well-groomed, relax, enjoy yourself and stop beating yourself up over it. Past is past - you need to look at the future!

2 - Mack 2.0 is right work on yourself first.

3 - Find that little inner self that says "yes I am a bad ass, but I'm also a gentleman" Jerks may get girls but they don't keep them, bad boys that know how to be respectful do!

4 - I have had many failed relationships that left me destraught and depressed... want to know what I did, I re-made myself, I listened to what I WANTED, and went where I wanted to go. Girls like a guy that has it together and has his life in order makes them feel SECURE.

So R3D.... pick yourself up, dust yourself off and change what you need to change to make your life better remember being happy with your life first makes all the difference, then you can show more confidence than ever because you have your life sorted and don't have to worry about it.

(Apologies it ended up being a bit long-winded)

_________________
Life is for living, so I ain't giving up!

Mate great post, thats why these forums are so good sometimes, it gives people a chance to seek help or to re-evaluate themselves, without the judgement or embarrassment.

You actually sound like the fun guy and girls hang around you all the time then move off to your friends, I think you might want to change that to being the fun guy still but increase your flirtation and sexual innuendo when interacting, I feel thats the case, I was like that too, social but zero sexualisation when interacting with girls and I got passed over again and again for failing to notice shit! If this is the case I would suggest reading 60 years challenge material.That coupled with building sex up to be the be all and end all, probably doesnt help you vibe with girls, sex isnt really a big deal, dont freak out about not getting it as much as you want, as this desperation will seep into your interactions too.

Seriously you dont get depressed about this, you have the will to change it, posting here demonstrates this admirably.

You have admitted you have problems with this, you are successful in other areas of your life, the people best able to advise you are your friends, you should maybe bring this up with the more successful ones of your group on an individual basis, not directly coming out with it, but steer the conversation towards your frustration in this area when your next chilling out with one of them and ask what there observations are on why you are having issues.

When you realise no one is perfect and everyone has a different take on how they perceive each other, you might be envious of your mates when it comes to girls but they will assuredly share this with you in area's you excel in, it's natural for people to garner this kind of envy/respect - why would you hang out with people you dont respect unless your some entourage fuckwit? So dont be embarassed asking about this, I can just imagine one will say you had loads of chances but you just didnt realise! your not an asshole, assholes dont post shit like this.

those are my 2 cents.

Hello, sorry for not getting back sooner. I have been taking in everything everyone has been saying and re-evaluating my current situation as well as actions that have been made.

I appreciate everyone's help. More insight would be great.
I don't know where to start with that. I have read alot of material and implemented alot of things, confidence building stuff, how to stand talk walk,...ect. Maybe give me a hypothtical situation and let me tell you how I would respond?


Oh yea. I'm always getting friend zone.

When I display interest, girls kind of...how do I explain it.... "back off softly" you know what I mean?


1. Yes I believe that
2. Yes also
3.Yes
4. This is what I'm trying to figure out
5. This is a topic I have been really thinking about.

The way I feel about this is that in retrospect, I have always felt like the low man on the totem pole. In a group of friends I would be like the little brother with no respect.

So what I have decided that I need to do a full system reboot. I need to purge all these people in my life who have really had no respect and placed me or respected me less than I should have. Also, I have thought about all the people I know, and most of these people are friends of friend, meaning they are not my friends personally but they are through some one else. Basically I need to rebuild my base of people that are true friends.

Conversely, I have always went out with friends and done things with a group of friends. This support group; which has been detrimental to my development due to the facts stated before, was a false structure, that I thought I could depend on. also doing things by myself would allow myself to develop in a way where I could depend on myself alone, and build my confidence without the support of others but by relying on myself.

I feel like my friends are kind of putting me in a position of subconscious failure for entertainment purposes....if that makes sense?


Anyways I hope I will get some more feed bad, I really appreciate it.

I feel ya man, im just reading the replies

revised a few things

if you don't respect yourself, nobody will

also, what the fuck, you're acting like a little twat, and why is that?


How can you not be thankful for your past, you've done a lot of good things, why the hell is pussy so important for you?


Maybe i'm failing to get my point across but what i mean is that for you to be able to move forward in your future you have to stop being an ingrateful little bitch, be thankful for everything that the past has offered to you, the fun times with the computer games, the times and physical shape due to sports, all that, be thankful, cause all you seem to do is to never be happy with your life and always ask for more, ofc that's gonna fuck your way up.

You've come this way and were able to make this introspect, you're an intelligent dude, but your roots are fucked up, find your way to live life, be happy, not in the future, but right now, it's all within your reach.



All this and, listen to mack.


cheers

I hope I didn't come off as ingrate-full, I'm very happy with all my accomplishments, but it seems like everything that was suppose to increase my value and make me more attractive, didn't or hasn't helped get more women (whether it was or wasn't the goal)

I just feel everything I have tried to be more attractive and attract more women, was pointless and now I really don't know what to do or where to start. I'm ready to start from scratch, from zero, but I don't know what to do or what to work on first.

R3D,
Your post reminds me of how much I wished I had discovered all this PUA biz some 8 years ago when I left school and was lamenting about getting zero pussy!

I think one thing you must do is indeed re-analyse exactly who your friends are and are not. If any "friends" have been laughing AT you and not offering much support or sympathy to your issues, do away with them immediately. What kind of friends are they?