Man there is SUCH a fine line between good nights and bad nights. Especially when you only go out once or twice a week, it's like we put so much pressure on ourselves to do and say the right things (which don't exist) and then we find ways to GUILT ourselves no matter what happens.
Like if we had a bad interaction, we'll find ways to beat ourselves up and talk shit to ourselves.
But think about this: If you had a GREAT interaction, but didn't pull, some of us will still bag on ourselves for NOT GETTING THE GIRL! Even if it went great!
We've gotta collectively stop this. this is MURDER for a healthy social life.
The guys who have all the girls ALWAYS have good nights and they don't even try. So I'm gonna break now how to be at this new place, so tonight (Saturday) you can go out and slay it.
I have 2 goals when I go out. And NOTHING else.
Here they are:
1. Meet people
2. Have fun.
And I'm going to explain how I think about each of these, cuz this is EXTREMELY important.
First, do me a favor:
Go put on a song for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGu_gjMzOW8
Now you're good to go.
1. Meeting people is very easy when you're not trying to get something from them.
Connecting with them JUST to connect with them, and enhance your night.
Some people won't be ready for you. SOme GIRLS won't be ready for you... they'll automatically assume you're trying to fuck them and ignore you.
That's OK. I'm making this sound worse than it is, so that when you actually DO IT, you realize "Piece o cake! Good to go!"
You guys cannot imagine how many times I have been blown off in my life. At least 1000 times.
And if I sat around feeling bad about this, I would not have any time to become successful or play shows or fuck bad bitches. I would cripple myself if I relived every bad scenario I experienced. Forreals. Think about that.... 1,000 blow offs. And not a single tear.
That, I feel, is the real secret to success in the game: How you process a girl NOT liking you.
When I'm out socially, I talk to everyone. I care about people so naturally I want to inspire them to have a good time.
Obviously, some people aren't having it. They'll give you short answers or ignore you altogether.
You've gotta look at it like this: That person's bad energy wouldn't do me any good anyway, so I'm glad they excused themselves.
You're going to be having fun, so you'll definitely be attracting fun people by the droves.
i walk through a bar and have girls GRABBING me and hugging me.It's pretty funny.
But that's because I'm always bouncing around and obviously having a blast. If I walked through the crowd like a nervous nelly or with my head down, that shit wouldn't happen to me.
This is why HAVING FUN is so vital to social and sexual success:
But first things first, we're still MEETING PEOPLE:
Lastnight I walked into a girls 21st bday party.
There was a nice crowd but a dude sitting all by himself not saying much. I went over and asked him if I could buy a beer. We started talking and I asked him about how his night was going.
He said "Not good actually"
I built the commonality: Yeah dude, I know what you mean. But hey, it's Friday, and I don't have to be somewhere til Sunday, so I guess we can drink to that!"
We clink beers.
So when I say "meeting people" I literally mean I walk up to strangers and ask them how they are doing. People are SUPER receptive to this, especially IF YOU PUT THEM FIRST.
You ask about THEM. You ask questions, find out what's going on, etc
This is the easiest thing in the world. So easy that I want you to try it:
Go out tonight, and open GIRLS OR GUYS, whatever feels more comfortable, and ask them how there night is going. Then maybe ask them where they are from, or what they are doing in town.
Show them you care about THEM, and they will close YOU. It's like magic. Trust me.
2. Having fun.
This is the easy part. All you NLPers out there know that we can feel however we want to feel WITHOUT drugs or drink... so think of what you can do WITH drugs and drink!
Haha, I'm only half kidding. Thankfully, drinking a few beers makes you feel good, more lively, more happy to be on planet earth. Whatever.
The point is: you need to bring the fun. This starts with YOU actively screening for things that are fun in the environment.
Like silly hats. Like bachelorette parties. Like midgets. Like people with Down syndrome. Like funny situations. Like people NOT having fun! Like couples fighting. Like obscene statements to your friends "No Dad I will NOT touch your penis!" in a crowded room.
I know you and your buddies have your own brand of humor. We all got it. You just have to access it more often. And it ALL STARTS INSIDE YOU.
Find that fun feeling from your past. Maybe it was a LONG TIME AGO. Maybe it was lastnight, that's your call.
But key into it, and take it EVERYWHERE with you.
I know guys that are funny 99% of the time. They always have a fun feeling inside and they spread joy wherever they go. This is the kind of stuff I think about. "How can I have more fun?" ANd I do it EVERYWHERE>
So naturally, this is why girls want to meet me EVERYWHERE I go.
This is why people I met ONE TIME, come up, give me hugs, introduce me to girls, and spread GOOD rumors about me, that help my cause!
Because when they experience Mattydub, they have fun.
This took a while to make happen, but it's a worthy ideal, trust me. Cuz not only do you get to have fun for the rest of yourlife, you get to enjoy the spoils of being a fun guy.... which is something I really haven't talked about yet.
But hey, I got a chick here cooking me pancakes and coffee and we're on tour and life is gravy. I really gotta get back to mine.
I'd love to hear your thoughts, opinions, concerns, questions, etc.
Md1
CHAT