Hey guys,

Sorry for the long post but I really need help.

So about six months ago, I started texting this girl alot who I've known throughout high school (im a junior in college now). At the time she had a boyfriend at her college (we go to different colleges, about 2 hours apart). So we texted each other quite frequently throughout the fall semester. In early Decemeber, she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend. Since we were from the same town, over Christmas break we started hanging out alot. I realized that I had developed strong feelings for her, I'd never felt this way about a girl before. We started arriving at parties together and people even thought that we were already going out.

A couple days before new years, we were on our way back from getting some ice cream when I couldn't take it anymore and told her how I felt about her. I realize this wasn't the best timing since she just got out of a year long relationship but I couldn't keep it in any longer. I told her I really liked her and she said thanks and that was sweet, but she said she had just always considered me a really good friend. At this point I feel like an idiot, but am understanding towards her. We continue to hang out over xmas break and nothing noticeable has changed during our friendship.

I went back to college and tried not texting her as much bc I didn't want to seem desperate. I found out though, that my cousin was getting married over spring break and that I could invite a guest. So I asked her around February if she would like to go with me. She said yes right away and we started texting alot more again after that. She kept saying how excited she was about going to the wedding with me and I felt my feelings for her start to creep back. At the wedding, we had a great time. I could tell she really enjoyed herself and we spent alot of time together. My feelings for her are back to where they were before now. At the wedding, I asked her if she still hangs out with her old boyfriend and she said they do a little, but she's not willing to follow him after college. She asked me if I was dating anyone and I said no. That was that, we went back to having fun. Note that I have never kissed this girl or done anything sexual with her at all. Also, this girl is really friendly and easy to get along with, but I'm still the person she texts and hangs out with the most when we are both in the same area. We also are going to video chat on SPAM tomorrow.

So, my question is this: if she has developed feelings for me, will she let me know? Or is it my job to ask her again?

I keep going back and forth about whether or not I should ask her again, but I really don't want to beat a dead horse. I feel like there could be something there, but I felt that way the first time and I was dead wrong. And if I ask again it could ruin our friendship, which I really don't want. She could be just a really nice friend who enjoys being around me. Even so, my heart is beating faster all day because of this girl. And I anxiously await her responses to my text messages. Sad, I know.

Sorry for the long post, but any advice on how what to say to her or what my next move should be would be greatly appreciated.

I would not ask her again. My advice to you is move on to another girl.

you're definitely in the friendzone. i would research ways to get out of the dreaded friend zone.

i agree with these guys. if you really like this girl, accept her as a friend, and move on. i'm sure it will be tough.

Friendzoned!!! ,yeah its pretty much a done deal. It can either play out this way, when you find another girl, she will get slightly jealous, why? cause your attention was first on her and now its on another girl, even if you were friends. Thats how womens are. so dont take it like "she got jealous that means she madly in love with me. Theres a slight chance that it might actually work and she realize her true feelings for you but now you are stuck. Go out with the new girl you like or her? see how this is playing out? I cant tell you which path you should take cause thats up to you but right now you are in the Friendzone and its gonna take a while for you to even crawl out of it. Playing the jealousy game can be a double edge sword It can help out but it also can dig you in the friendzone even more.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

Thanks for the responses guys. I've put my feelings for her behind me before, but the whole wedding thing sort of reignited them. I guess I'll just have to do that again.

I'm still interested to know what you guys think of my other question about girls in general: if you ask them out and they just want to be friends, will they normally let you know if their feelings have changed or do you have to do the asking again?

If a girl's feelings changed, I don't think she will ever say it, but her behavior will change. But don't read too much in her being nice to you or spending time with you, that doesn't mean anything after what's happened.

Good luck.

Thanks.

What kind of changes in her behavior should I look for? We go to different colleges so we wont physically be together for another month or so. We text pretty frequently and are about to start skyping. Are there any signs I should look for or anything I should do that might give me some hope of getting out of the friend zone?

Oh man, just let this one go. Really. Focus on getting other women. Have fun and keep this girl as a friend, but really as a friend, don't nurture your expectations with this girl. Once you have other women in your life, you will feel different, act differently and think differently. Then and only then, after a year or so, this girl will notice you're tha man and maybe then you can game her again, but trust me, you might totally forget about her by then because there will be others. Sometimes it's just best to let it go, I've been there. I had oneitis for this girl, and now I have other women in my life she sees me differently, but now I'm not that interested anymore. I'm very playful with her, we have a great time when we're together and maybe some day there will be more between us, but I don't give a sh*t anymore and she can feel it, so she seeks my company now and not the other way around. And when you're with some other women, you'll start to notice really well when a girl is into you and then you'll be able to just "feel" if this girl or any other girl likes you in that way.

Good luck!