DAY 54: asking a girl out.
Stopping being an idiot.

Context.
I've been stupid lately. I realized that last night when I read Kasabi's thread in the PUA Lounge: "If you want to be a pimp, get pimpin' . . ." if-you-want-to-be-a-pimp-get-pimpin--vt87709.html. Your replies also made me feel like an idiot. She invited me to a live music bar, I refused and did not even take avantage of the window to ask her out. I thought the best answer was to take action.

Addressed issues.
- I'm unable to call a girl to ask her out.
- I've no idea of fun dates.
- I've been stupid.

Goals.
- Call her.
- Ask her out.

Strategy.
She likes art. I do too. My landlord told me about a nice exposition of Vik Muniz's work in a modern art museum near my house http://www.institutotomieohtake.org.br/ ... cartaz.htm. I thought about asking her to come with me on Thursday afternoon so we can take pictures of the expo. I simply thought about calling her, apologizing for being an idiot the other day and ask her out.
____________________________________________________________________

First of all, the Photographer is an ugly nickname. Let's call her Smiling Artist.

I've never had the balls to really call a target. I did call LMS but it was a 30 seconds conversation... and I was anxious. The funny thing is that I called the Smiling Artist today, at12.31 exactly. I was relaxed. I knew I had some work to do. I was doing it even though she has no notion of English at all. It was me, my Portuguese and her.

Calling the Smiling Artist.
She answered, I was in.
ME - Hey Smiling Artist, it's AFC Daniel. How are you?
HER - I'm good thanks. What about you?
ME - Everything is allright thanks. Look, I wanted to apologize for Saturday night, I was at the cinema so I could not make it to the bar. bla bla... Got it? (I was speakin a bit fast and I was worried she did not get it because of my accent)
HER - I'm sorry I did not understand nothing.
ME - Haha... I'm gonna speak slower though. So I was telling you... (repeating)
HER - Oh, no problem at all.
At this moment I wanted to find a transition to ask her out, but I was like, fuck it, just ask.
ME - Do you the Tomie Ohtake institute?
HER - Hmmm... Yes! (she put a little time to understand what I was talking about)
ME - I'm going to see an exposition there, I thought it could be a good opportunity to take some pictures. What do you think?
HER - When do you wanna go?
ME - Hummm I dunno, I was thinking about going Thursday afternoon. Is it okay for you?
HER - It depends on the hour... but yes I wanna go.
ME - Okay, you know what, I'll send you a message with the info so we can meet there. Okay?
HER - Okay.
ME - Xau Smiling Artist.
HER - kiss.

It was not perfect but I'm happy for a first shot, especially in Portuguese. I thought it would be harder to get a "yes".

Sending the message.
Sent the following message through Facebook, to be sure that everything was clear.
She answered half an hour later.
I answered:
I got this reply.
I replied that it was okay for me.

Results: I called her and get her to come to the museum with me.
____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
I think the exposition is a good idea, I'm comfortable in this kind environment. I'll be alone with her for a bit more than 2 hours in front of modern art.

On the Game.
- There's nothing better than actually calling her.
- I can call a girl in Portuguese and be relaxed.
- I have to find more fun/cool places where I can date girls.
- I have to take the lead.
- I have to schedule more dates with other girls.

Next steps.
- Go on that date, be funny, attractive, enjoy myself, touch her!
- Seed another event while on the date: cinema?
- Take the lead on the date.
- Organizing something for friday night with the other students?

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

AFC Daniel this is side note and it doesn't have anything to do with your current Smilling Girl situation!

I just wanted to tell you how much inspirational you are for many guys out there (including me)...please, don't quit, don't even think about it, just go further, push it some more when you think you can't do it anymore!

After reading this thread my only desire is to meet you once (in 2-3 years time) and just to see you in action because you will be PUA by then, that's for sure! I'm on beginning of my journey and I just hope I can be critical to myself the way you are...

Maybe you don't know this, but you are awesome man!

You speak languages, you are down to earth guy, you are not afraid to admit that you are wrong and you want to learn...that are qualities that only good people have, and please, don't you ever think that you are not good enough for someone, because the truth is that there is no too much people that can be compared to you...so, just aim high, and I'm sure you'll be #closing, fuck closing HB 10!

That's it from me, looking forward reading your new posts!

Greeting from Zagreb, Croatia!

Edit: typo

DANIEL!

See, BAM! words + actions = dates.

Just have a great time, look into some serious conversation tactics as well as your escalation/kino and routines. You have picked a venue where YOU are going to be the main attraction, not the venue, so make sure it is interesting for her. Find out as much about her as possible, ask questions, don't hog the convo, and genuinly listen. Just converse with her. Couple this with some physicality, some emotional revving and some sexually charged body language and you've got the molitov cocktail for getting another date (may I suggest something near your residence?)

Your date set up was a very friendly, easy going communication. You can't help but be so damn nice, can you? It is not a bad thing, but remember, you are going to need an edgy tone to your interaction in order to escalate or you are going to end up with a hot friend with a lot of common interests, a good thing, but not the point here.

So let the kino fly, take some pics of her and tell her you think she is hot, whatever, just let her know as the escalation continues you want her!

Good luck BRAW, no worries, just play it cool.

Daniel,

She is going to show up with NO PLANS for dinner. She will try to extend this date for as long as possible and linger around. Just keep chatting and continuing the date. 3 is perfect because your photo date will slide right into dinner time.

Daniel: Oi, I can't believe the time. I'm starving. Did you ever try ______ ? (Yes, this means you should have already researched a fun place to eat)

Then you go right into dinner, then cocktails, then back to your place.

Easy, easy, easy.

Why only her? Take out your calendar and mark it up with all the numbers you got. Right now, the 'busy fucking man' is only a marketing tool. Turn it into reality.

I have no reason to quit at all! On the contrary, I've still a long way to go to achieve my goals. Yet, with the beginning of classes, I might slow down on journaling.
My goal is not to become a PUA for now. Let's become a man first! On another note, I do think sincerity is a necessary part of the equation. I've been lying to myself for 23 years, and I still do it. We can't keep lying to ourselves.

Thanks Joytoy, I do think a pretty girl could use someone like me... Yet I still have a lot of work ahead as you can see!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Yeah! I'll read some material on Kino, routines and escalation in general. But I don't really know what are conversation tactics... I will take a look at Chief's guide to outer game, it has a whole party about conversation.
What do you mean by edgy?

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Very true... Almost as if he is delighting in self-sabotage [being too fond of the comfort zone]. Funny, I see a lot of what I used to do and to some extent still do...

Daniel, I think you just need to take the plunge and go for those kisses.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

She told me she had some classes after, but could be cool if I make her forget about it. I'll check and find a cool place to eat. Anyways, I'll seed another event to go with her. (Still need to find it though).

I'll call other girls and set up some dates. You're definitely right on the schedule thing. Time to be the busy man I'm supposed to be.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I'm learning a lot about myself actually. I do have this self-sabotage tendency. It's like a last minute resistance. I have to take a step back and understand it. But I think I'm in a good way.

Remember in the first pages? I was unable to get a convesation out of an approach... then unable to introduce myself... then unable to #-close... then unable to call a target... I'm learning little by little to break these false barriers and kill my tendency to avoid stuff.

I'm also really surprised about how much I need guidance here. I love to learn stuff by myself, but I could not have done it here. Without this journal, I'll be nowhere. Without the few good punches in my stomach, I'll be probably spend my time complaining and lying to myself...

There's another party thursday night. Funny thing is, I spent the day thinking about how tired I was. I'm being tricked by my mind again. Yes, I have work to do for the uni. Yes I have to look at some material for the date. I have time to do it. I'll buy my ticket tomorrow.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

I had an interesting convo with a girl yesterday night on Facebook. I was in a good state of mind after asking Smiling Artist out, but truth is, I was not even trying to game anything, just asking for an information. Remember the French speaking girl that was shit testing me as hell on Carnaval? I called her Princess in a former quick update 23-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=331

ME - hey Princess, you're in *COURSE NAME*course too right?
HER - ouiii! We have a work to do for Wednesday
She sent me the text I (still) have to sum up by mail.
ME - I have your email now, I will stalk you.
HER - OOH yes,
HER - ahah
HER - let me know when you're headed out to Vila Mad, I WILL join you, this time! [Remember the little event I organized? She did not come. IOI!]
ME - okay I'll tell you
ME - I'll go to the cinema too iif you're interested.[me trying to get a date, lol]
ME - I wanna see a Brazilian movie.
HER - most definitely! I saw one a Korean one with Brazilian subtitles so far, but a REAL Brazilian would be nice ... check out Ovido
ME - I watched Bruna Surfistinha. Crazy movie, wanna see it again. I loved it.
HER - Really?! Ill come with u ... the thing is, we go to the movies every Monday, cos it's only 3R$ at Shopping Paulista!
ME - I paid 10R$ on Saturday night. 3R$ could be nice. You knwo what, I'll check the prices.
ME - we'll go this week at night, why not Thursday? I'll see and come back to you.
HER - it's *PARTY NAME*!!! We can't! =p
ME - oh shiiit, I forgot this.
HER - I'm terrible at scheduling [Basically, I was just saying what was on my mind at that moment]
ME -used to be good though
We started to speak about the party on Thursday night.
HER - ahaha, u r coming though?
ME - arg, dunno. convince me
HER - UR NOT COMING?! It's going to be wild and dirty .. Brazilian style. Come on, all of *UNIVERSITY NAME*! i'll dress as Mickey (?!)
ME - ahah wild and dirty... is it how you like it? :p [still can't believe I say that, lol]
ME - might be Disney style though
ME - I'll think about it
HER - well, not necessarily, but i had some echos that it's really good
ME - you don't have to explain yourself for the wild and dirty... I'm more open than you think
HER - ahahha ... i don't think ANYTHING
HER - i was referring to simply people letting loose you know ... not the French "let's chat and pretend we're stuck up" style ... but wild and dirty it shall be [massive shit test isn't it?]
ME - "let's chat and pretend we're stuck up"? what's that? [did not get it though]
HER - coincés, les soirees francaises
ME - lol, now I am thinking stuff about you
HER - Well sometimes it ends bad too =p bad meaning police coming and orgies starting. [!?]
HER - (ok, only take me half seriously)
ME - I think you'll love the movie.
HER - ill wtch the trailer!
ME - and then the movie.
She watched the trailer an asked:
HER - You really wanna see it again?
ME - Sincerely, yes. I loved it. I love cinema.
HER - ok!! find a cheap place, ket's go after class or something, when the weather is at its worse!
ME - sounds good to me Little Miss Sunshine [Be green, recycle nicknames.]
HER - That's my tshirttt!! [She gotta have a tee-shirt featuring Little Miss Sunshine ]
ME - I know
HER - I actually left it in Budapest along with my other Michey shirt ...
ME - I've been stalking you for years
HER - Good God. am in danger?
ME - I can't tell for now
HER - ahah, in the dark when ill be stuck between you and a fat Brazilian guy with no exit [meaning that it's gonna be me and her and the movie.]
ME - lol, you'll prefer me, Brazilian guys are creepy
ME - with girls I mean [Some girls came to me to tell me how Brazilian were pushy with the foreign girls]
ME - but maybe I'm the one in danger with your dirty stuff.
HER - thanks AFC Daniel... =) That's very considerate of you given that you hardly know me - "dirty stuff", ahaha
HER - they aRE
HER - they are [twice?]
HER - I opt for Franco/Portuguese ones [that being me, IOI]
ME - I know right? how many girls have come to me to tell me that
ME - yeah good choice
HER - but that's good for you ... you can be the cool, considerate, NOT freaky guy ahaha =p
ME - I don't even need to do anything [I apologize to the PU community for this sentence, that was ridiculous]
ME - but yeah, they try to kiss us all over, a little too - rushed - i think =p ahaah
ME -yeah just say "I'm not Brazilian!"
Transition to our experience at Walt Disney World. It was an opportunity to be more sexual.
HER - their freaky Brazilian manners - The ones in Disney though were nice!
ME - cuz most of them were guays, lol. no kiddin.
HER - mmmh, true true ... Happy at Disney AND gay. what a perfect combination ... we had a friend, who lived with two gay guys, black ones ... ! and they were only 3 ... he ws so lovely and mostly SHOCKED
ME - a friend of mine had 3 gay roomates in Disney.
ME - he once surprises them giving blow jobs to each other. I'm always laugh when we speak about that. [we still laugh at that story!]
HER - NO WAY!
ME - I swear
HER - well my friend heard them *uck at night.
HER - one being the man the other the woman
HER - mmmh
ME - my friend used to imitate their moanings lol
HER - i am kind of holding back my laughter tooo, oooh ouiiii, oooh that's GROOSSS! =)
ME - lol it is. damn, i'll SPAM him so I can tell him that you went thourgh the same stuff. Disney was a crazy place when it comes to sex [except for me... AFC]
ME - okay Princess.
ME - got some stuff to read
ME - see you
I logged off.

I realized later she wrote this after I went to sleep:

HER - First party from *FACULTY NAME*- You can't miss it!! (you see, "you can't miss it", that's what they say, you cannot not come... And it's open bar and girls are going to dance naked (I guess that's what is meant by "performancas especiais"). Get your place tomorrow Cast Member!! Beijos.

Okay, so basically: I'm seeing her tomorrow on classes. I'll see her at Thursday night party and then probably on Monday for a cinema (a damn hot movie by the way).

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Edgy = using the edges of allowable context.

So, when you are talking about wild and dirty fun with a french girl on FB, and letting the sexual enuendo remain obvious but unmentioned, that is somewhat edgy. Much more edgy than say, taking your sister out for ice cream and talking about taking pictures for an hour straight, pretty easy eh?

Good work playa, you are getting another date, and you are quite obviously leaving an impression on the women you meet.

Conversation is something you don't want to TRY and fabricate. all the comments in your chat log that you think are corny, or are in need of apology, are not coming from YOU. you are fabricating them to try and SEEM funny/sexual/cute etc.? Understand? The best thing you can do to hold a convo is talk about things you are interested in, could be interested in or at the very least, want to talk about and then pounce on the windows which allow you to be witty. Don't CREATE moments or lie about who you are to seem cool, it is EASY to blow that shit apart in person. Think of questions/stories to ask for certain contexts when you start a conversation themem if your talking about photography, your brain should be already finding the most interesting things you know or have expierenced within that theme. Your disney expierence is a good example, it allowed you to flex your conversational muscle by opening up multiple avenues for you to recall memories, relate expierences or otherwise carry on a convo. Start analyzing your convos with everyone, anytime you find yourself talking to a friend, a classmate, a family member, pay close attention to the structure and behaviour of both you and them. Try to spark some random convos with strangers and keep them going, keep them feeling natural and interesting.

Don't forget to keep working out Daniel, it will keep you feeling potent.

DOING GREAT!

Got you Insert. Thanks for the insight.
Actually, you're right to warn me. I could not find time to it yesterday... and I still dunno when I'll be able to work out because of the parties and all.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's a really quick update, no details since I'm tired and don't have time.

Little Miss Sunshine.
We chatted a bit on Facebook yesterday night, at some point I told her I wanted to go to the cinema to see a Brazilian movie (Bruna Surfistinha again). She told me she wanted to see it to. I told her that I wanted to go on Sunday. Then I fucked up. I told her I had a really busy week so she asked me why instead of answering at the invitation. Anyway, she answered "you'll tell me when you're available". I said okay, when are you available. She told me that today might be good. She's going to a "cervejada" and, as far as I understood, we could go to the cinema after. She was going to sleep so I told her I'll call her today to set this. Anyways, I might see her tonight and go to the cinema to see a damn hot movie.

Peruvian girls and Princess.
I was in class with Princess (the girl with whom I had the convo last night) today. She was with her two Peruvian roomates so I had some difficulty to have a conversation with her without the two Peruvians (even if they're hot). I was sit next to one of the Peruvian girls and some strange things happened. One of them is name Alejandra, the other one is the Petite Brunette I mentionned here: 21-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=304
ME- [Singing a song including the second Peruvian girl's name]
ME - Too bad I dunno a song with your name Petite Brunette.
PERUVIAN - You can wite one for her
PETITE BRUNETTE - [smiling]
ME - I don't know her, how could I write a song about her?
PERUVIAN - Get to know her.
ME- How can I do that?
PERUVIAN - Ask her out [damn...]
Okay, I was really surprised here. I did not know how to react. Were they making fun of me or something? These three girls have been having kind of an attitude since I know them; they don't say hello to you when they see you and other kind of stuff like that. I managed to break the ice with Princess since we have some stuff in common, but this? It's even stranger since I was supposed to go at the cinema with Princess on Monday.
I fucked up, I ejected and started to speak about another subject. I can't understand these girls, really. All I know is that the Peruvian has been watching my Facebook profile since she noticed some pictures or me in other parties. Anyways, I'll come back to Princess for the cinema. She might invite her roomates though.

Approaching.
I wanted to warm-up a little in order to be confident for tonight (killing the micro-avoidance to be ready for the cervejada). I approached a HB8 on my way home for direction, as usual. I introduced myself. She was 28 but looked like 18 (?!), studies psychology. She was really shy and serious despite the fact that I was smiling and all. I did not find the right 'settings' to really break the ice... I did not even try to #-close. That's a mistake. We kissed goodbye though.

Smiling Artist.
I chatted a bit on Facebook with her. I started to tease a little about the fact that she was annoying when she corrects my sentences. She told me that indeed, she was annoying in general. I told her that I was too. She provocates me on that... I think that's a cool warm-up for tomorrow. I know that she's seeing another guy at the uni on a regular basis. Never seen them kissing and shit but well... In the worse case, he's her boyfriend, in the best case, he's interested and trying to have her. I don't really care for now, I'm just going to an expo.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Hey man,

Regarding the thing in the classroom:
In my experience, if a girl tells me something that I don't know whether to take serious or not, it's best to take it serious. There's a good chance that if she said it, she meant it. The half-jokingly way of saying it is often designed to protect her from getting laughed at.
For example, if you had laughed and said "uhm, no thanks" to the offer, she would've been able to say "I was just joking, you weirdo!" and thereby not losing face.

Worst case scenario: She actually didn't meant what she said. Who cares? You might get the date anyways because you actually took is serious.

Best case scenario: She actually meant it. You got yourself a date.

My point is that when you're in doubt, you should always interpret the situation the most optimistic way possible.

I hope I'm make sense here

wow youve progressed quite nicely AFC Daniel and yes your story is quite inspirational keep up the good work, ill try to give some of my own input when i have some more free time