Hi guys,

It has been a long time since I've posted a topic here, but I feel like I need some real advice now from you guys. I have recently broke up with my GF, with whom I was in a relationship with for 3 months, it's not that long I know, but our relationship was pretty intense and I have developped some strong feelings for this girl.

Three monts into our relationship she gave me the "I think we need to talk"-thing, so I came over and said to me she felt like things were different. Also she thought she needed some time alone and wanted to take a break because she had a lot of stuff on her mind (which was true, she had a very busy period at school). At first instance I got mad and scared of losing her, so I told her I needed to think about it. It has only been three months and she wants a break already, really? I thought a relationship was not going to last if she wanted a break after such a short period of time, so I decided to break up with her, which is now almost two months ago.

As I said, our relationship was pretty intense. In that three months we saw eachother almost everyday and we also had sex a lot of the time we were together. After we broke up, we still had feelings for eachother and I felt jealous when she was talking to other guys. I always thought she was flirting, when this really was not the case and when I told this to her, she confirmed to me she wasnt going to flirt with other guys, especially not when I'm around. We started hooking up again, and started to have sex on a regular basis again.

Two weeks ago there was a party I designed a flyer for, and I knew she was attending, so I decided to stop by and just say hi. She took me outside and told me she really did not want to lose me out of her life and she did not want me to move on, i thought that was really sweet of her to say, we made out and I went home after.

I stopped by at her place the next day and wanted to talk. I told her I wanted to know what we were doing, because at that point frankly I didnt. She told me we were just hooking up and were having fun, and we were. But I wasnt sure I could keep doing that with a girl I had such strong feelings for. She told me she didnt want to be in a relationship right now bc she wanted to enjoy more freedom. In my book that just means she wants to hook up with other guys and I had some friends confirm that to me. Next to that, why wouldnt I be able to give her more freedom while being in a relationship?

About a week ago I got insanely drunk while going out with a friend of me, while she was in town as well. And I saw her see me, but she inmediately turned away to her roommates she was with. Normally this really wouldnt be a biggie for me, but I just got really upset about it. I called her at the end of the night and said some insanely stupid stuff about never wanting to see her again and made her cry for like an hour.

Last sunday we went out for dinner to talk it out, and she admitted having made out with a guy after my little burn-out against her. Allthough I know we arent together anymore, this really saddened me and I got quite upset about it. She told me she just did it bc she was drunk and thought it would make her feel better. But I just think this is what she wanted all along. When she thought I was out of the picture (told her I never wanted to see her again), she could hook up with anyone without having to feel bad about me, since she supposedly never had to talk to me again.

It just really hurt me, knowing that she moved on faster than I could. Also she was my first serious relationship and I frankly just dont know how to handle these things. How can I get over her as fast as possible? I still really miss her company and I constantly want to be with her/talk to her, even though she has hurt me really bad.

Do you guys have any advice about how to move on after a though break up? Especially when you still clearly have feelings for a girl? She told me she didnt have feelings for me anymore, so trying to get back into a relationship is not going to work I think, though I want that really badly still.

Sorry to hear that bro. Im probably feeling the same shit you are. But what work for me is.

- Find a Hobby!

- Meet new ppl.

- Go out with your friends.

- Everytime you feel down or depressed just grab your things and go for a walk, call your friends .

- Gym, it will give more confidence and will produce endorfines which will help you. And also its really good because when you reach home you are so tired that you sleep.

- Deleter her number and all means of comunication.

- Dont sit at home all depressed and all that shit.

- Well if you can hookup with girls it wont help forget her,but it will boost your ego.

-Make sure you eat regularly and as best you can, balanced meals and vitamins

-Sleep 8hours at least

- And keep in mind you will get over her, ie you will find someone else,

Thanks for your advice! I have a hobby and I want to start working out next week. I felt depressed yesterday, so I went out for a drink with friends yesterday, I talked about my situation with them and two of them have been through way more though break ups than I have been, so i they gave me some good advice as well.

I'm certainly not sitting at home all time, thankfully. Because that would make me feel more shitty than I feel now haha. Im planning on going to meet up with some friends in spain and stay over there for a few weeks with a friend from here. Im also planning on skydiving in a couple of weeks and Im going to plan a vacation with a few friends this week. Looking at it this way, Im actually doing fine I guess.

But it just seems that I can't get rid of the feelings I have at this moment, I guess it just takes time for them to go away. When I dont have those feelings anymore, I would like to try to be friends with her again. Im not so sure if its a wise thing to do tho, but I still really care about her and I would really think its a shame if I would lose her out of my life.

Bleh, love sucks.

She's mindfucking you, and toying with your emotions

First accept that you and her will never be,and let go all of these false pretenses of hope that you have, that you and her might get back together,it is DONE, and in my opinion this is the biggest step too moving on.
Find something else to do with your time, don't give yourself time too sit there and dwell on her.
Do not communicate with her whatsoever, and destroy or "put away" anything she has given you, and don't give in, if she approaches you with the lets be friends bullshit, if you're just friends it's going too hurt even more, don't text her,call her, SPAM her, facebook her, drop by her house, or any ways of contacting her, that is also very important.
Go out and meet other chicks, flirt, do whatever helps you get over her.
Also you have too realize this isn't going too be an overnight process, time can only heal, but being occupied with other things, and enjoying yourself can only make the healing process faster.

Well, every time something like this happens, or any other thing that saddens me, confuses me, or makes me depressed, I try to find a thought that makes me feel better. Sometimes I need to be angry and vent and just feel those emotions pass through me, so I can start feeling better. When you're trying to find a thought that makes you feel better, you should sense some relief. That's the only criterion that I use, if something I think gives me a sense of relief, than it's a good thing to think about in that moment. Also, I try to see the bigger picture of life and just say to myself that the shit that's happened had to happen in order to experience better things in life. It also helps if you can look at your life from a distance and see all the great things that you have going on, family, friends, and just be grateful you're healthy and you have a roof over your head and other basic stuff we usually take for granted. Then you realize it's not all that bad.
Now, the girl hooked up with somebody before you did, and your ego is hurt. You have to consciously realize it's just your ego. On the big scale of things, when you think about how much you love this girl, you could probably find in yourself the wish that she may just be happy. But before all, you have to wish the same for yourself. Think about your happiness and just do things that take you one step closer towards that feeling. If thinking about this girl, or having contact with her saddens you at the moment, you should avoid it and put yourself first. I know you feel now you don't want to lose her because she's so great, but think about what you need now. You know and feel deep down you just need to get her out of your head and forget about her. There is plenty of time to be friends, later, when you've really moved on, if it's meant to be, it will happen and you will also be able to see if you really miss her as a person once you're completely over her. But for now, do all those things posters above suggested, when you can't escape feeling sad, find something good to think about and just know that the hurt will go away a lot sooner than you think. If it makes you feel good, game other girls, but don't feel like you have to do it. Often guys say, go sleep with 10 other women and you'll forget about this one chick and blah blah, yeah it's true to some extent and you should do it if you feel the sense of relief because of it, but don't forget to do all the other small things that bring you joy. All being said, alcohol helps LOL, at least for me, but we're all different. So I would take the above advice and cut all contact with her, and just do things that make you feel good. It will all be better soon and before you know it, some other lovely, cute, sweet girl will be in your life and you'll be glad everything turned out the way it did.

Good luck!