Ask Ryan / Blondguy ANYTHING thread



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:40 am 
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Quote:
I got couple more questions:

1)To what extent do you take flirting(sexual convo) one each of these stages? (approach, date, bedroom)

2) Any good material on flirting that you know off?

P.S. thanks a lot for the reply, I used to try to go for a kiss ASAP-works ok, but not too great-gonna try this way now)
1. As far as possible! Ideally you want to emotionally spike the start of each interaction. So I'll be funny for a few minutes on the initial pickup, then normal and find out about her whilst flirting a bit. On the date I'll do something like pick her up and twirl her around when I first meet her, giving her the rush of adrenaline and that emotional spike, be funny for a bit, then non stop getting to know each other, flirting and banter, with some sexual topics covered towards the end. Once I get back to my place, no more jokes, but hopefully at least one big emotional spike! ;-)

2. Actually I've never really seen any 'material' on the subject! Which is amazing, since it's a very important aspect of game!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:58 pm 
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Hey Ryan,
even though i disagree with ur mentality that direct is better
than other styles like indirect,i feel its a good thing that u
do that,cause it makes u deliver more solid information on the
direct attitude,being more fanatic about it and believing in it
more than other to the point of encouraging people to switch
to the direct attitude i feel makes u more qualified to
give content about it.I have the belief that all the different
methods and styles of sarging represent type of characters,
and one is not better than the other,it's just that
different people will do better when they follow the style that
their character is more compatible with.You believe that
direct is better because u've got to the point that u
get consistent results with it and i bet it feels like
the other styles are more time consuming and not
as fun or as fullfilling as it.The same goes with
indirect,if you were to ask Mystery what does he think about
going direct,expressing his interest right away,
instead of his under-the-radar,value-building
indirect style,i dont know what his answer would be,but i'm pretty sure
in his mind he'd be like "look man,i know with the right mindset
u can get results being direct,being upfront,but with indirect i feel
more comfortable".Being direct i feel makes a person expose the vulnerable
side of themselves and a majority of guys i feel that their character,
the way they were brought up,from family,school etc,is not suitable for that,
in fact they can actually get better results going indirect instead of
pure direct.

So the problem is,that the gurus out there,talk about their methods
as if every single guy is compatible with it,when in fact each guy
has to sit down and check within themselves somehow,what type of
character they are and choose to follow a style that's more compatible with that
so they can enjoy sarging more,and thus get better results from it.

MY FIRST QUESTION IS,what do u think about that,how can guys check within themselves,
and find out what style they are more compatible with,what questions do they have to
ask themselves or what to do to find that out

THE SECOND QUESTION,is basically how can a guy avoid burning out when he starts
going out for sarging.You know what burning out means,like imagine a
new guy chooses a method,and starts going out to get some results,
after weeks and weeks,he realises that he's failing a lot,and that
even though he gets some results,he fails so much that he's discouraged
to keep going,so he decides to stop sarging.He goes back to his old way
of living thinking "screw this whole pickup thing,it's too intense,i wanna
live like a normal guy".That for me it's actually bad,especially for a guy
that put time and effort into this knowledge,weeks after weeks,reading after
reading and in the end quitting,how does a guy find the discipline to keep going
through the pain period,through the rejections and keep his focus on the
long term goal,i know it's a tough question so i really want to put some
deep thought on it

those 2 questions i wanted to ask u,congrats for becoming a moderator here, i
feel you're a great guy


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 12:37 am 
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Hey Blondeguy,

I am currently hooking up with a girl..
she's nearly a 10 in my eyes.

17 almost 18, im 19..

I've been into her for awhile but never made any attempt till recently.

now we're fucking, she tells me to come over to cuddle and stuff... she's pretty busy all day, and at night when she could come over to fuck i'm either busy or with multiple friends.. after that we all go party and then after that its too late cus she's tired and has school in the morning..

I want to begin (through game during the day, texting, and time spent with her) to take control of the relationship... get on her mind more and have her wanting to fuck. I'm pretty straightforward about sex with her.. but I feel like theres something that needs to be improved or set up properly so we're both on the same page... without being needy or showing how into her I am...

Do you have any advice?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:43 am 
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Hey Ryan what up

congrats

anyway, I've read a lot of your posts and since you did a lot of direct daygame, I want to ask you

what is like an average ratio on interested girls / uninterested girls, if you approach 100 girls directly, how many of those hook.
I know, that this is probably more of a numbers game, but I can't help myself, I'm just fucking curious :D

Thx

K.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 9:19 pm 
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Apologies if this has been asked before.

Do you think that seduction is mainly a numbers game? Some say that all you need to 'seduce' is to be good looking and not have AA. A great example of this would be Paul Janka.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:11 pm 
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Hey Ryan,

Since you wrote the article on "getting out of the friend zone", what is the best advice you can give for staying out of it in the first place?

And need a bit of help with qualification here: how-to-qualify-without-offending-vt87948.html


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:17 pm 
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Hi there.

I have couple of questions.

After direct opener, or observational. How do you transition into conversation? What do you talk about in mid-game? (example would be great)

Since I don't have stack of routines, I usually try to talk about common interests, and or if nothing, I just talk about what I'm interested in.
What is the difference between seductive eye-contact and normal eye-contact?

How can you express your interest in a girl, without sounding like a wuss?

If u had a date(coffee/launch/dinner) and then get back to your place to "watch a movie" (without any significant kino) when do you go for a kiss? When do you go further? What's you favorite way to handle LMRs?


Last edited by Fighter-for real on Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 4:31 am 
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Hey Ryan,

Randomly met a girl at this concert a little over a month ago. We pretty much hit it off from the start and the night ended with us walking around arm in arm, and her SPAM sn in my phone. A week later we kiss on our first official date, the following week we end up having sex and now we've just recently just started seeing each other exclusively.

I usually see her 1-2 times a week(i'm away at school + busy and she lives about 30 mins away). Whenever we hang out she'll tell me about how she missed me and the various things she loves about me(seems very much into the LTR thing), and we have a TON of things in common.

Surprisingly she doesn't have a cell phone because she couldn't afford it(thought she was bullshitting and first, but after she gave me her housephone # and told me more about her living situation I can tell she's for real) so we talk primarily on SPAM.

Now that the honeymoon phase is over and we're starting to get used to talking online almost every day and hanging out with her once or twice a week(never doing the same stuff, sometimes I'll take her out to a concert/show, other times we'll be hanging out in the city), what can I do to keep her interested?

I also, I notice that even though she seems very much into me, 90% of the time I'm the one initiating the communication via SPAM or phone. How do I know how much communication is too much, and what should I do to get her to initiate contact with me a little more? I know she's attracted to me and likes me, but she mostly shows this affectionate side of her in person.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:37 pm 
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Quote:
Ok, hi Ryan, so glad you've got a thread. You are one of the most helpful posters I know on here :D got to meet up some time in London ;) So here is my question - its quite simple:

How important are looks in game with very beautiful women?

Obviously they are important, but can be overcome with your average HB, but im talking with regards to really beautiful women.

I know a HB 9.5 (stunning, italian, catwalk model) and quite understandably she has high standards. I would say i am good looking, but not stunning.

So, basically what I am saying is, with extremely hot women with extremely high standards, can you overcome their standards in just the same way as with normal girls?
Thanks!

This question comes up a lot and I don't really have any particularly new insight. From my perspective, I see it as a factor - just like anything else. Having super good looks can help you get your foot in the door, but if you're a boring cunt then they're not gonna ensure you get laid at all. Conversely, if you're funny looking (like me!) then just make sure you're put together well, get to the gym, have confident body language, and develop a sparkling, confident, easy-going personality. I've also found that just having nice clothes and a good hairstyle can turn a guy who's a 6 into a 7 or even 8!

If you ask women, they'll tell you that they're far more attracted to CONFIDENCE, HUMOUR and INTELLIGENCE than anything to do with looks anyway. And those are all things you can develop yourself, regardless of how you look.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:40 pm 
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Quote:
For a second date, I'd say to meet at my place first, and then carpool from there (that way we end up back at my place), but I don't think I can get away with that on a first date since most of the girls I've BARELY met and don't feel comfortable just meeting at my house when they haven't even spent an hour with me.
That is the correct system and it's fine to do it on the first date. If you're comfortable with it, she'll be too.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:04 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Ryan,
even though i disagree with ur mentality that direct is better
than other styles like indirect,i feel its a good thing that u
do that,cause it makes u deliver more solid information on the
direct attitude,being more fanatic about it and believing in it
more than other to the point of encouraging people to switch
to the direct attitude i feel makes u more qualified to
give content about it.I have the belief that all the different
methods and styles of sarging represent type of characters,
and one is not better than the other,it's just that
different people will do better when they follow the style that
their character is more compatible with.You believe that
direct is better because u've got to the point that u
get consistent results with it and i bet it feels like
the other styles are more time consuming and not
as fun or as fullfilling as it.The same goes with
indirect,if you were to ask Mystery what does he think about
going direct,expressing his interest right away,
instead of his under-the-radar,value-building
indirect style,i dont know what his answer would be,but i'm pretty sure
in his mind he'd be like "look man,i know with the right mindset
u can get results being direct,being upfront,but with indirect i feel
more comfortable".Being direct i feel makes a person expose the vulnerable
side of themselves and a majority of guys i feel that their character,
the way they were brought up,from family,school etc,is not suitable for that,
in fact they can actually get better results going indirect instead of
pure direct.

So the problem is,that the gurus out there,talk about their methods
as if every single guy is compatible with it,when in fact each guy
has to sit down and check within themselves somehow,what type of
character they are and choose to follow a style that's more compatible with that
so they can enjoy sarging more,and thus get better results from it.

MY FIRST QUESTION IS,what do u think about that,how can guys check within themselves,
and find out what style they are more compatible with,what questions do they have to
ask themselves or what to do to find that out

THE SECOND QUESTION,is basically how can a guy avoid burning out when he starts
going out for sarging.You know what burning out means,like imagine a
new guy chooses a method,and starts going out to get some results,
after weeks and weeks,he realises that he's failing a lot,and that
even though he gets some results,he fails so much that he's discouraged
to keep going,so he decides to stop sarging.He goes back to his old way
of living thinking "screw this whole pickup thing,it's too intense,i wanna
live like a normal guy".That for me it's actually bad,especially for a guy
that put time and effort into this knowledge,weeks after weeks,reading after
reading and in the end quitting,how does a guy find the discipline to keep going
through the pain period,through the rejections and keep his focus on the
long term goal,i know it's a tough question so i really want to put some
deep thought on it

those 2 questions i wanted to ask u,congrats for becoming a moderator here, i
feel you're a great guy
1. The only way you can check if a style is congruent with your personality is to learn some of it, go out and try it out, and see if you enjoy doing it and it gets you results. Debating pickup from a purely theoretical approach is pointless KJing that doesn't help anyone. When you read something a go "oh shit that sounds fucking awesome!" then that should provide you with the motivation to go out and try it!

2. If you're going out and sarging and you get some results, but then plateau, then that's natural. You've probably hit a new sticking point. Figure out where your interactions are breaking down, and go out and look for some advice about that area. Take in a couple of different techniques, and try them out - whichever one works the best, ingrain it into your game, and then move on until you hit another brick wall.

As for "failing," I don't believe that ANY guy who is consistently going out and working on this stuff is failing at all. Everyone has days, weeks, even months where nothing works. But the only failure is to not try. Every single approach is a learning experience that's helping you find your style and calibrate it. Getting blown out is absolutely inevitable and will always happen. It's how you choose to look at it. Personally I enjoy getting blown out in hilarious ways - I go for challenging sets on purpose and revel in awkwardness and tension.

On to your general point about direct vs indirect. Whilst I believe that there is something to be said for developing your own unique style that suits your character and personality, I believe there are only a few sets of circumstances where indirect is useful. The first is when a girl is with her group of friends who can hear the conversation. If you tell her you wanna fuck her in that context, social programming will FORCE her to say no, even if she wants to, in order for her to not look like a slut. Secondly, in a closed social group where you know some of the men and women, going direct on their friends may backfire, in some cases. In both cases, the solution is simply to initially be indirect in front of the group, then isolate your target and THEN make your intentions clear.

I fundamentally believe that indirect game teaches men a very limiting belief and ingrains a terrible mentality - that you CAN'T express your sexual / romantic intentions to a woman honestly and openly (or at least until she's made it very very clear that she has similar feelings towards you). If women want a DOMINANT man who can LEAD them (which most say they do), then how are you going to do that if you're waiting around hoping she'll give you some IOIs, and constantly worrying about what she's thinking, or if she likes you, or if it's ok to kiss her yet? Fuck that shit - if you like her, TELL HER! It's really that simple.

When it comes to direct, I don't think it's something that only suits a certain personality. I've worked with many guys, and heard testimonials from others who have worked with the best direct guys like Alan Roger Currie, David X, Badboy and Sasha, who started out being very shy and having direct game literally change their life! And that's exactly the point - it's not a system or a method or a technique. Being direct is a WAY OF LIFE - it's saying fuck being afraid, fuck what other people think, if I want a girl I'm gonna damn well tell her, regardless of whether she might "reject" me, blush, laugh, or run away!

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:07 pm 
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Quote:
showing how into her I am...
It's OK to let a girl know that her body drives you crazy and you can't stop thinking about all the nasty shit you wanna do to her, and how you can't wait to get her home so you can rip her clothes off and ravage her.

Nothing wrong at all.

She wants sex just as much, if not more, than you do. Don't ever be ashamed to let her know that she turns you on. In fact, that's one of the BIGGEST turn-ons for a woman - feeling desired and sexy.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:22 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Ryan what up

congrats

anyway, I've read a lot of your posts and since you did a lot of direct daygame, I want to ask you

what is like an average ratio on interested girls / uninterested girls, if you approach 100 girls directly, how many of those hook.
I know, that this is probably more of a numbers game, but I can't help myself, I'm just fucking curious :D

Thx

K.
It varies massively day to day - some days girls won't stop or hang around and you'll get blown out 5, 10 times in a row. Other days you hit a good one and just pick up 5, 6 numbers in a few hours!

On average, 80-90% of girls will at least stop. Of those, 25-50% will not be interested due to boyfriend, too busy to talk, etc. Of the ones that remain, about 50-75% will actually get back to you and meet for a day 2.

So, your close rate should hover around 20-50%

If your close rate is in single digits or the low teens, then you may have a sticking point somewhere along the way. Maybe you're being very direct in your words when you pick them up, but then your follow up texts / calls seem needy. Or when you do meet, you're not escalating comfortably and thus you seem like a guy who's all talk and doesn't have the walk to back it up.

I would say that even the greatest PUAs I know have a daygame close rate (from opener to bedroom) of around 50-60% MAX. Anyone who claims anything higher is just flat out lying.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:25 pm 
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Quote:
Apologies if this has been asked before.

Do you think that seduction is mainly a numbers game? Some say that all you need to 'seduce' is to be good looking and not have AA. A great example of this would be Paul Janka.
It's completely a numbers game. You can have a an amazing interaction and the girl goes off, randomly bumps into her ex-bf, they get back together and she never calls you back. How can you possibly control for that? You can't. It's life. You're always gonna get blown out, get flaked on, and get broken up with. It's just a matter of just learning from your mistakes whilst at the same time being completely emotionally detached from specific outcomes (i.e. not giving a shit!)

Not having AA is incredibly important, yes. You're not gonna do very well if you never approach! But good looking, yeah it'll help a little, but not that much. Confidence, humour and intelligence are far more important factors, which you can actually work on to improve.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:58 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Ryan,

Since you wrote the article on "getting out of the friend zone", what is the best advice you can give for staying out of it in the first place?

And need a bit of help with qualification here: how-to-qualify-without-offending-vt87948.html
In my long friendzone post, there is some advice at the end regarding if you consistently find yourself stuck in there.

The most fundamentally important way to stay out of the friendzone is INTENT. You must make your romantic and sexual intentions CLEAR as early as possible. You can choose to subcommunicate this with bodylanguage, voice tonality and eye contact alone if you prefer (to be a pussy), but I advocate telling a girl within the first few minutes, if not at the opener, that I find her attractive. If she hangs around, then I know she's interested, and our entire interaction from that point has a clear momentum towards sex.

As for qualification, the basic idea is to think of it in the same way as your kino escalation ladder. Starting with a really big qualification question early on in an interaction will usually lead to "I dunno" or a quizzical look, for example, I wouldn't say "tell me 3 things other than beauty that make you interesting and unique" right after I'd just opened. You have to work your way up from simpler questions first, and then find out about her more, so you have material to actually work with that can focus what you ask her about.

The best way, in my opinion, to get a girl to qualify herself to you is to make statements about her. It's really good because if you're right, then you build a connection, like doing a cold read. If you're wrong, she wonders WHY you said that, and starts justifying herself to you.

I would just add that your goal of qualification should not be for the sake of going through a step or trying to build what I call "false comfort," but to SCREEN for attributes you actually value. Don't say "so are you spontaneous" unless you actually really like it when a girl IS a spontaneous person. This is doubly the case because once she tells you she is, you want to be able to GENUINELY compliment her on the quality she just proved herself about. If you don't actually care about spontaneity but are just saying it, then your compliment will come off as fake, and you'll be unlikely to have actual grounding stories to tell about your spontaneous friends or ex-gf.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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