From AFC to PUA: a Learning Journal (AFC Daniel)



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:03 pm 
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I've noticed a large shift in you're writing that leads me to believe that you are feeling like your AFCness is controlling you. Alot of "I can't"'s and "I need to do this". Realize that your AFCNESS cannot control you unless you let it, or that is to say, unless you change your thought patterns to be AFC.

In the beginning - mid point of your journey, your progress was much more intense and your attitude was much more positive. You were in control, you OWNED the buses you walked onto, YOU approached, ingnited interest and GOT NUMBERS.

Your expeirence of late seems to be directly tied to your inner state. Your friend noticing you looked tired is a good example, YOU ARE NOT FEELING IT. Do you understand? Feeling like shit = being shitty to be around.
Indeed Insert. I'm being through an AFC phase. I've lost control lately: I took some immature decisions (unfriending my ex-gf, not accepting the invitation of LMS) which actually made me feel really insecure about myself. Yet I'm getting myself together.
Quote:
You are so concerned with LMS (or any potential target) liking you that you are falling into her frame. You are in NO way projecting the idea that you are following your own agenda. Letting the negative feedback loops in your brain run rampant is not good. You need to move your frame of mind outside of these loops. It is hard, I know, I have struggled with this constantly. Inadequecy, shame, guilt, fear, and anger will all stain your frame and cause you to lose the ability to force people into your reality, cause in all honesty, your reality SUCKS if you are feeling this way. My advice comes form the inability to achieve this state of mind for myself at times, its fleeting. so, if anyone out there can offer some genuine advice stating "I NO LONGER DEAL WITH THIS BECAUSE I DID THE FOLLOWING..." by all means, chime in.
[edit: I misunderstood here, I've deleted the paragraph. I think part of the answer is in the ability to step back from these negative thoughts. Meditation might be the answer.]

The sentence I underlined is insightful.
Quote:
Stop worring about day 2, stop TRYING to get a date in order to progress a relationship. Go get some more numbers, say 7. Tell these women shortly after you get their numbers that you are "going out for tea, wanna join me?" or "Im not busy tuesday evening, lets get to know each other", you know, casual. Schedule all of them in fairly quick sucession. Don't look at them like potential targets, look at them like test subjects. Go in there, try some stuff you wouldn't dream of with LMS cause you like her so much. Say things you think are rude, act too nice, do whatever you feel like MIGHT work, and mentally record your results. Practice your escalation, get BLOWN THE FUCK OUT in the middle of the tea shop, have hot scalding tea thrown at your face and learn to SMILE about it. You've got a lot of life left to make good, find your boundries, the points of your personality that work and admit to the ones that don't. BE AWARE
Okay. I'll collect more numbers and do that. On another note, maybe I like LMS so much because she shows me some interest at least. lol.
Quote:
You are fixating my friend, at every oppourtunity. I've been there, I've obsessed, we all have. The fix/trick is finding the reason to rationalize the obsession, to LEAVE YOURSELF BEHIND and feed the machine, so to speak, leave your mammalian emoions behind and focus inward, on your instictual lizard. Your only needy cause you want to control the situation you are in, but lack the solid emotional grounding and self assuance to do so. This is what I gathered from the material WE ALL BOMBARD ourselves with (thanks D Dangelo and Dr Paul). I apologize if that is too obscure...I might be delving too much into MY self right now :)
More and more people are telling me that my journal make them think about their issues too. I'm glad to "help".
I think I should read again some material about mindset, it could help me. I have Vin DiCarlo's Attraction Code and some video of DeAngelo.
Quote:
EMBRACE YOUR FEAR AND YOUR PAIN, Meet the expectations you feel you NEED to meet in order to move upwards in your thinking patterns. The primal feeds the emotional, the emotional feeds the logical. If you can get what you NEED, what you want will follow suit.

Good luck Daniel.
Thanks Insert.
Quote:
KASABI:

Your advice seems to come from a very competent place, although it may seem like at times, you are bitter about Daniel's frustration. I am curious, do you have any shortcomings? When, if ever, do you fail in life? I think this would be helpful to Daniel and myself to know that your all knowing, hard hitting advice is a result of the type of thinking that Daniel is succumbing to and I know that I have expierenced, and will sometimes expierence even now? Or is what Daniel speaks of reserved for only some of us?

I am enjoying the forum Daniels journey is providing, and apologize for hijacking, but I feel like at times, I say the same things you do, in a much less aware/purposful manner, I would like insight into your state, you never seem to allow the mystery to unfold. :) YOU KNOW I AM NOT A CHICK RIGHT? I WONT TELL ANY CHICKS IF YOU HAVE EVER CONSIDERED UNFRIENDING YOUR EX EITHER :) On a side note, approximatly, how old are you?
You know what I like about your advice Kasabi? You compel me to stop being the wuss/scared kid that I am sometimes to take actions and take responsibility for them. You want me to go forward. There's a plan. Let's follow it. And yes, for that I need to kill the mental/emotional masturbation coming from time to time.

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(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


Last edited by AFC Daniel on Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:12 pm 
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My only real connection with PUA is having previously read The Game in my batchelor days but I stumbled upon this forum, and in particular this thread, by accident yesterday and have been completely hooked by your journey. Having read all 29 pages of this thread over the last 24 hours (and not achieved much else in the process) I am humbled by your dedication to not only meeting women and socialising but bettering yourself and achieving your goals, long-term or short-term, whatever they may be. I am absolutely astonished at the progress you seem to have made from your early days of suffering AA in the mall to confidently opening girls in bars, clubs and bus stops!

You are a true inspiration and I will certainly be following this thread with interest as you continue your journey in Brazil. (Damn I wish I was you :P)

Bon travail!

YesDale!
Merci YesDale!

I'm glad I inspire you. Truth is, this journey could be yours or anyone else's. And I'm pretty sure there are thousands and thousands of people going though the exact same process. I'm just a random French guy who decided that it was time to grow up and become a man. It's all about taking a decision, and sticking to it.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:49 pm 
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Quick Update.

Here's a quick update on HB Mac Beal and a party tonight.

HB Mac Beal.
I've finally waited one day to text her. Since I told her I would text her my name so she could add me on Facebook, I sent:
Quote:
Oi HB Mac Beal! It's AFC Daniel, the French guy from yesterday. I want you to be my lawyer here in Brazil! :p Here's my facebook profile: [link] (You're not a stalker right? lol)
Hope she'll add me quickly on Facebook so I can invite her to get a coffee with me.

St Patrick's party.
Okay guys. Big night tonight. There's a huge party with the guys from my faculty. All the exchange students will be there. It's also a really good opportunity for me to get comfortable at night game and to meet Brazilians HBs. I have a rendez-vous with two German girls to go there. One of them is Behind Blue Eyes 27-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=391. DHV baby! Anyway, even LMS might pass.

So I want to show my top game tonight! I want to be prepared for tonight. I'm going to continue 60yoc and take some notes. Similarly, I'll learn some routines, KINO situations, ...

If you have any tip concerning KINO, routines, escalation, ... in an outdoor party environment, please tell me! :) I will also probably be introducing myself to a lot of people. I'll number close when possible.

Friday's party.
Yeah guys, another party on Friday night. LMS invited me. I need to be prepared.

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(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 4:35 pm 
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St Patrick's party.

Friday's party.
Two parties coming up, exciting! Looking forward to your reports.

This is quite useful for kino escalation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjdcLU7GVqs


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:01 pm 
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Salut Daniel,

It's great you met HB Mac Beal, it prevents you from being too focused on LMS.
Quote:
[She introduced me to at least 6 friends. I spoke with some of them and was friendly. I think I made a good impression on them. She seems to be really liked/popular... With these DHV, I felt that I was the one being gamed.
Can you "leverage" LMS to get to know other girls?

Amuse toi bien!

EDIT: quote


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 9:37 pm 
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DAY 53: Saint Patrick's party.
You know that I could use somebody.

Fasten you seatbelt, this field report is long but it's worth it.

Context.
My last night game session was not good at all. I've been to some parties but was unable to really do something. I had an outdoor party yesterday night at the faculty. wanted to have fun and show some good game and confidence.

Addressed issues.
- I'm not comfortable enough in party environment.
- I'm not good enough at escalation: KINO, sexual frame...

Goals.
- Have fun!
- Get at least one numb-close.

Strategy.
I've read/watch some material before going to the party. I saw Gambler's videos on KINO escalation and finished reading 60 Years of Challenge's first chapters on mindset. This last read was really insightfull, particularly when it comes to building confidence and the party environment.

60yoc reinforced my belief that confidence is all about small things. Every time I hesitate to have a simple social interaction, I lose an opportunity to build confidence and bring doubt into my mind. I went out after reading this to go to the local grocery store. I faced this exact situation. I was looking for something and was hesitating to ask the cute girl over there. I went for it, ask for the info. She did not really help me but she was really shy and the interaction was nice. Later at the cashier I realized she did not work here. She noticed my accent and asked where I was from. I could not # close though... she was with her mother. lol.

60yoc was also really clear about something. The 30 first minutes of a party are the most important to get the "social god mode".
____________________________________________________________________

I arrived at the party around 9pm. I was supposed to meet two German girls (Behing Blue Eyes) to go there but I went by myself in the end. No worries.

Let's get this started.
I was by myself but was not affraid at all. I knew that if I did not stumble on somebody I know, I could simply meet random people. In the end, that's the plan: meet people. I was in the party for 3 minutes, I started to walk to the bar and stumbled upon Japanese Dory 22-vt81510.html?start=316. She offered me a garland of green flowers. She was leaving the place unfortunately. I ended up in a group of Brazilians guys where I meet several girls but nothing interesting for me.

First # closes: Green Hat Girl and Brazilian HB7.
Since the group had no interesting targets, I jumped to another group. In reality, I used another exchange student to do that. I said hello and started to talk with him. Quickly I got introduced to several girls. One of them had a green hat. Let's call her the Green Hat Girl (HB7). I had a nice interaction with her, did a lot of KINO and it worked well but she was a bit shy. I noticed she was by herself. She told me her friend had to leave early (I learned later that her friend was Japanese Dory!). We spoke a bit about random stuff. I started to talk to all the group, and more particularly to another Brazilian girl (HB7 too). After 5 minutes of conversation we started to talk about Paris. Since she did not go there, I asked Green Hat Girl to come and give her impression about the city. We spoke a bit about it and the she asked me:
HER - Do you study during the day or at night?
ME - During the day.
HER - You should come at night!
ME - What for?
HER - So we can talk to each other again. [IOI]
I went for the #close of the HB7 and Green Hat Girl (GHG). Told them that we should go to a "churrasco" together since it was typical here. Got the two numbers. The second HB7 left. I stayed with GHG since she was by herself.

Seeing Little Miss Sunshine.
I was talking to GHG when I saw LMS coming right next to us. She was going to the bar. I did not stop listenning to GHG but grab LMS by the arm. I maintain eye-contact on GHG and waited for the last moment to look at LMS. We hugged and I kiss her on the chick. She had classes and was just passing during the break. We exchange 4 sentences and she was gone. I went back to my conversation with GHG. At some point, I told her we should move to see if we can catch friends of hers or other exchange students.

Third #close: Greek Girl.
GHG and me were now in a set of French people. Nothing interesting here but I was social and friendly. Then it happened. A UG French girl was speaking to a cute HB7,5. I noticed they were talking about me. I saw her and introduced myself. In fact she was French/Greek so we started to speak French. At some point I framed her as being sad/tired.
ME - Are you okay? You seem sad.
HER - Oh no I'm good. [qualifying herself]
ME - Maybe you're just tired.
I did not do it on purpose, but I think I take the advantage on the conversation at that point. We spoke about having two nationalities and I told her I was happy to find someone who felt the same way about the silly statements as "so you're half bla and half bla". I KINOed her with a claw. Since the music was loud, we were really close so we can hear each other. Gambler's videos helped hear. I was able to hold eye-contact and hear her at the same time. I asked her to speak Greel a little and she said something involving my name and Brazil. There was a sexual tension here. I love to hear a language than I can't understand at all. I wanted to do her. We spoke about Greece and I told her that I would like to go there. She told me that I should contact her if I decide to go to Athens.
ME - That would be good indeed. How can I contact you?
HER - Do you have a cellphone.
I #close the Greek Girl in front of Green Hat Girl. She told me she will sent me her name by text so I can find her on Facebook. She seemed really eager to see me again. Since I did not know if I was going to see her again, I kissed her good by and hugged her. I had a boner when she told me on the hear:
HER - It was really nice to meet you.
Still no text message though.

Opening a Portuguese set.
More and more exchange students were coming to the party. I met a lot of people and had a lot of fun. Most of them were surprised about the fact that I was able to speak Portuguese, English and Spanish almost fluently. I became the live of the party for some groups I was opening. I was really confident. At some point I opened a group of Portuguese guys (2 girls and one guy) and asked them about their favourite football team (Football is religion in Portugal). Actually they were friends of another Portuguese HB8 exchange student.

The Portuguese HB8.
I met her really early in the semester since she was Portuguese and have the same accent that I do. She was drunk. I was hugging her as hell. At some point she told me that she cried this morning because of a test she failed on classes (she was late). I comforted her by hugging her even more. Later, I found her next to the bar. I was talking to an Italian friend. I made a sign to make her come to me. She left a guy to come in my arms. I mader her spin by holding her hand and realize that the guy was looking at me. He did not like that at all. He was a "popular" guy form the student association actually. Whatever, she was in my arms now. I spoke a bit with her. I could have definitely gone for a kiss close, but I did not. I don't know, I just did not want to do it. She went back to the Brazilian guy. Some minute later, she was making out with him.

Big Boobs Lady.
I'm meeting so much people that I actually made a mistake tonight. At some point a girl came to me and she knew I was French. I asked how she knew and I have actually already spoke to her in another party (at least I think). Later again, I introduced myself to her! I did not recognize her, she took her jacket off and was now showing the largest breast I've ever seen in my life. She was not my type though. Anyway, she was mad at me. All along the night, she kept saying to people that I was a bad guy everytime I passed next to her. I ignored her but that was a good thing. The girls with the biggest boobs of the party was speaking about me.

German escalation.
Behing Blue Eyes finally arrived with another German girl that like me I think. I escalated a lot with the latter. I did a lot of Gambler's stealth Kino: my leg was close to hers, I was really close and I've been cocky&funny. At some point, she told me that she doesn't trust French, Spanish or Portuguese guys since they were player. I faked being hurt and she started qualifying herself as hell. We spoke about that for at least 20 minutes. She ended by saying that I should not take it personaly. I was starting to get tired and stayed a lot with the two German girls. I'm not that interested in her though. I think she likes me.

Photographer HB.
Later, in another group, I stumbled upon a HB8 that I've already seen earlier. She has style, I like that. I only spoke to her for 5 minutes but I told her about the Carnaval in Ilhabela and that I love photography. Well you know what? She loves photography too! I could not #close though. But she added me on Facebook today.

Results: I had 3 #close, 5 facebook friend requests today (among which GHG and Photographer HB) and I had fun as hell!
____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
- It was a good idea to read some material before going there.
- Killing the micro-avoidance during the day really helped me to build confidence for the night.
- Being good the first 30 minutes of the party was a good point for me: I've got 2 #closes.
- I enjoyed applying Gambler's KINO escalation.

On the Game.
- Enjoying myself and having fun is attractive.
- Killing micro-avoidance is a key element on maintaining confidence.
- I'm getting more and more comfortable in this kind of party.

Questions to move on.
- Should I have kissed the Portuguese HB? I did not feel like it... Maybe I should have gone for it.
- I've # closed several girl a the same time... good thing?

Next steps.
- I have a 3000 people party tonight.
- Let's get some dates!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


Last edited by AFC Daniel on Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:14 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 11:59 pm 
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QUICK! GET TAH DA CHAPPAHHH!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:37 am 
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Salut Daniel,

It's great you met HB Mac Beal, it prevents you from being too focused on LMS.
Quote:
[She introduced me to at least 6 friends. I spoke with some of them and was friendly. I think I made a good impression on them. She seems to be really liked/popular... With these DHV, I felt that I was the one being gamed.
Can you "leverage" LMS to get to know other girls?

Amuse toi bien!

EDIT: quote
I'm not a huge fan of the friends she introduced me too...They're young and not really beautiful... But I'll do it for HB Mac Beal if I see her again.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:03 am 
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get those dates DANIEL! Make sure you save the best/hottest one for last!!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:07 pm 
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Quick Update.

Last night (non-)party.
I could not make it to the party yesterday night. I was with the two German girls and the Portuguese one who was really drunk the night before. I've never seen so much people. There were more than a thousand people waiting to get into the stadium for the party. We waited for 2 hours and then decided to go to a Mac Donald's.

Photographer.
Just before going to the party, the Photographer HB talked to me on Facebook. I was not prepared so the convo was not that good but I tried to be funny anyway. We spoke about photography. Actually, she's pretty good at it! I could learn stuff from her. I told her we should go out to take some pics. I left the conversation and gave her my number. She is hot and I really like her style. I should have taken her number, I've been silly on this one. I was a bit surprise since we did not speak a lot at the party. IOIs:
- Asked her where she lives, answered? "Why you wanna come right now?"
- She told me she likes the Portuguese accent (my accent).
- Told me she would like to learn French.

Greek girl.
The Greek girl was the one who showed the most interest for me at the party. She told me she will text me her name so I could add her on Facebook (her idea, I swear!) but I'm still waiting... Anyways, I got her number.

Targets.
Here's a little update by preference order:
- Photographer (HB8): she came to me on Facebook and we had a nice conversation. I told her we should get out to take some pictures someday. I gave her my number, I don't have her's.
=> I'll get her number and offer her to get a drink/ice-cream so we can speak a bit about photography... and the go out to take some pics. Since she's the one I prefer, I might get other dates before to be ready.
- Miss Sunset (HB8,5/9): I don't have her number, she put one week to add me on Facebook. I sent her a message, I had no answer... I'm a bit trapped here.
=> flake.
- Little Miss Sunshine (HB7,5/8 ): I still have to take an ice-cream with her. I've seen her quickly on St Patrick's party and she was the one who told me about the huge party from yesterday.
=> I'll ask her how was the party, try to get that ice-cream and escalate quickly.
- HB Mac Beal (HB7,5/8 ): As planned, I texted her to give her my name so she could find me on Facebook. No news for now... I have her number though.
=> I'll wait a bit and re-activate the contact in a last try.
- Japanese Dory (HB8/8,5): I like her and I've managed to be sexual with her but it's almost impossible for me to see her right now. She was at the party but left quickly. Anyway, I've number closed her friend: Green Hat Girl.
=> I'll try to organize something with Japanese Dory and Green Hat Girl.
- Greek Girl (HB7): Our interaction was hot, there was something sexual in it. But again, she told me she'll text me, she did not. I have her number though.
=> I'll wait a little and come back to her if she does not send a message.
- Green Hat Girl (HB7): I had a nice interaction with her but she was really shy... I don't really like that.
=> I'll try to organize something with her and Japanese Dory.
- German Girl (HB6/6,5): I've built something interesting with her, I really think I have an opportunity to get a date but I'm not that interested. I have to be careful, she's an exchange student and I might get blown off if I go too far with her.
=> ?
- Brazilian HB (HB7): she was my first number close of the party but I think I did not build enough rapport with her...
=> ?

Focusing in my goals.
Anyways, let's not forget my main goal: becoming a man. I'm not trying to get in a relation here, but getting dates will definitely help me on improving some Game. Actually, that's a good thing to get rid of the "I wish she was my gf" syndrom. I just want some dates to keep me busy on learning the Game. I still need to keep up on meditation and working out for example.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 3:48 pm 
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Quick Update.

Here's a quick update on what I've done yesterday.

Slow day.
I arrived home at 4am so I slept until 12am. I did not go out but took advantage of this slow day to do some meditation and get rid of the task I needed to do (laundry and other non-fancy stuff.)

Bruna Surfistinha.
I went to the cinema yesterday night with a Canadian friend and the German girl. We watched Bruna Surfistinha. It's an amazing Brazilian movie based on a real prostitute diary. WATCH IT, IT'S WORTH IT. (lots of sex scenes though)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FKuCSA2c0U[/youtube]

(the movie is really NSFW)

Photographer texting me.
During the movie, the Photographer texted me at 11.27pm and invited me to a live music bar. I replied a hour later:
Quote:
Oi photographer! I'm near Paulista with some friends right now. I'll see if I can't make it. At what time does the bar/club close? AFC Daniel.
I knew that I could not physically make it but I remembered what Kasabi told me about LMS' invitation to go to a club to get a an ice-cream. Here Photographer is doing the same thing. lol. I have to get used to it. She replied. At 2am, I texted her that I could not make it but we should see each other next week to talk about photography. She replied:
Quote:
Okiedokie... Enjoy your night, see ya.
Too bad I could not make it (no excuse), but maybe it's better. She's one of my favourite option and I was not ready for a day2 yesterday night. I'll invite her to get a coffee/ice-cream next week, bring my camera and do some routines on her.

Reflexion.
In the end, I barely spoke to her at the party. I saw her before in another event but I was not expecting so much interest. I was interested by her, I showed it but I remained scarce during the party since I only talk to her 3 or 4 sentences about photography. I think she saw me having fun and being popular. I need to manage my scarcity now and get a day 2 next week. I really need to calibrate my game so they are the ones who come to me.

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(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:06 am 
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Quote:
I really need to calibrate my game so they are the ones who come to me.
How long is it going to take you to realize you have to put out effort?
Are you talking about the fact that I did not go to the bar she invited me?

I wish I could go Hobbit. I love live music. But I lost my credit card and the last bus was at 1.30am. I had not enough money to afford a cab yesterday night... and having a two hours walk at night in São Paulo is not recommended for my life. lol.

I understand I need to put out effort but I confess I don't really know in which direction anymore. I have solutions to tackle my sticking points, I'm applying them. The plan for now is: be a man, get a life, get the girls. It's simple. But I was really (agreeably) surprised by her interest since I did not even KINO/tease her (but damn I really like her)... And I still don't really know how to react. I'll invite her for a Starbucks/Ice-cream but I'm aware that I missed a good opportunity yesterday night.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:45 am 
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Quote:
The Portuguese HB8.
I met her really early in the semester since she was Portuguese and have the same accent that I do. She was drunk. I was hugging her as hell. At some point she told me that she cried this morning because of a test she failed on classes (she was late). I comforted her by hugging her even more. Later, I found her next to the bar. I was talking to an Italian friend. I made a sign to make her come to me. She left a guy to come in my arms. I mader her spin by holding her hand and realize that the guy was looking at me. He did not like that at all. He was a "popular" guy form the student association actually. Whatever, she was in my arms now. I spoke a bit with her. I could have definitely gone for a kiss close, but I did not. I don't know, I just did not want to do it. She went back to the Brazilian guy. Some minute later, she was making out with him.
This has nothing to do with cognitive abilities or skills but 'habitual patterns'. (You obviously do not have a habit for this) So . . . create yourself a little quadrant for analysis. Each quadrant should be labeled, "Kiss/Good", "Kiss/Bad", "No kiss/Good", No kiss/bad". Now you tell me how much you can fill in for "kiss/bad" and "No kiss/good". Obviously, you should have gone for it but you didn't . . . and you've actually fallen to reducing this situation down to, "I don't know, I just didn't want to . . " - You're a LIAR. At the very least, do not go back to situations and cover up your bullshit with more bullshit. Tell yourself, "Ah ha . . . I was an idiot . . .never again. . ." and move forward.

You lost your window here and most likely, you lost your window with the sunshine girl. Hey, you're not going to get them all so continue to open, open, open. . . then when you see a 'window', POUNCE! How many numbers do you have now? How is it possible that you have NOT followed through with a calendar and a marker in your hand? What is going on here? You already did the work, now all you have to do is SCHEDULE . . . Why no scheduling? Why no dates? Why haven't we heard of 'fun dates' you'd like to take these girls? Why is there no plan beyond 'have fun" + 'get numbers' + 'eventually take sunshine on an ice cream date" in you plans when it is clear that your dreams require you to go much further?
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Photographer.
Just before going to the party, the Photographer HB talked to me on Facebook. I was not prepared so the convo was not that good but I tried to be funny anyway. We spoke about photography. Actually, she's pretty good at it! I could learn stuff from her. I told her we should go out to take some pics. I left the conversation and gave her my number. She is hot and I really like her style. I should have taken her number, I've been silly on this one. I was a bit surprise since we did not speak a lot at the party. IOIs:
- Asked her where she lives, answered? "Why you wanna come right now?"
- She told me she likes the Portuguese accent (my accent).
- Told me she would like to learn French.
You seem to recognize IOI's. Let's 'hope' she calls you but you realize you turned this game into a 'hope' game right?
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knew that I could not physically make it but I remembered what Kasabi told me about LMS' invitation to go to a club to get a an ice-cream. Here Photographer is doing the same thing. lol. I have to get used to it. She replied. At 2am, I texted her that I could not make it but we should see each other next week to talk about photography. She replied:
You're also letting this 'window' slide right by. Why wait till' 2? Just tell her flat out that you're at a movie with some friends. And why 'sometime next week for photography chat'? - Don't you remember our little discussion on SCHEDULING?~~ "THURSDAY is good for me. French lessons"

I'm not sure what it is . . . there is something in you. . . . You seem to gain some delight on PISSING WOMEN OFF. A girl clearly wants to kiss you and you deny her.(Even though you want to kiss her) You want girls to come at you but THEY ALREADY ARE COMING AT YOU. What more do you want to do? Deny them even further? There is a 'you' who claims to want to be a man and wants to attract women. There is a 'you' who takes delight on pissing them off. Choose one and let's get on with it.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:54 am 
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MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:10 am
Posts: 56
In light of your current situation, I can relate. And yes Daniel, life can get in the way of progress when it comes to surprise txts requesting your presence with short notice. Especially if you have no car/bike and no credit card. But, don't let any of the advice on here lead you to believe that you must create this god like persona where girls will just continue to need you and "come to you" after something as irrelevant as a number exchange. That is a pipe dream if you ask me. You gotta lead, you gotta take what you want or leave it behind if it doesn't fit your exact needs.

So, everything you need to know is posted already. MAKE YOUR MOVES! you are gonna make it too soon the first couple of times, when you are finally willing to invest, I can almost guarantee it, at least I did. You'll be surprised at how complacent women are with this tho, rather than slap you they will just tell you to slow your roll, and most of the time CONTINUE TO ALLOW YOU TO VAMP UP ATTRACTION. so, its all good.

If you're at a loss for a good, non needy reply to a request for your presence, here you go:

"Hey AFC daniel, Im extremely horny and subtly hiding it in a non chalant txt requesting you to meet up RIGHT now cause I am a chick, and chicks don't plan this shit out like you do"

"HEY! Its your lucky night! I am available, when/where?"
OR
"No, sorry, Im busy doing *blank*, but was thinking about doing tea lata tonight/tomorrow/whenever AFC daniel is available, we could meet then"

JUST THAT SIMPLE!

If it is too far to go due to your travel limitations

"That is too far to make it due to my travel limitations, how about tomorrow at THIS PLACE"

Original, I know, but you get the idea, this part is not rocket science. Im still looking for that damn "clitoris" tho :)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:04 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:43 pm
Posts: 666
Location: Paris, France.
@hobbit, @kasabi and @Insert.
Quote:
You lost your window here and most likely, you lost your window with the sunshine girl. Hey, you're not going to get them all so continue to open, open, open. . . then when you see a 'window', POUNCE! How many numbers do you have now? How is it possible that you have NOT followed through with a calendar and a marker in your hand? What is going on here? You already did the work, now all you have to do is SCHEDULE . . . Why no scheduling? Why no dates? Why haven't we heard of 'fun dates' you'd like to take these girls? Why is there no plan beyond 'have fun" + 'get numbers' + 'eventually take sunshine on an ice cream date" in you plans when it is clear that your dreams require you to go much further?
Touché again. Got the window thing.
Quote:
You seem to recognize IOI's. Let's 'hope' she calls you but you realize you turned this game into a 'hope' game right?
I've fucked up on this one, I should have taken her number. I've been an idiot. The only bad excuse I have is that I was surprised by such interest. Hopefully she did text me to go to the live music bar.
Quote:
You're also letting this 'window' slide right by. Why wait till' 2? Just tell her flat out that you're at a movie with some friends. And why 'sometime next week for photography chat'? - Don't you remember our little discussion on SCHEDULING?~~ "THURSDAY is good for me. French lessons"
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"No, sorry, Im busy doing *blank*, but was thinking about doing tea lata tonight/tomorrow/whenever AFC daniel is available, we could meet then"
Now I know how to react. This was not obvious to me.
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I'm not sure what it is . . . there is something in you. . . . You seem to gain some delight on PISSING WOMEN OFF. A girl clearly wants to kiss you and you deny her.(Even though you want to kiss her) You want girls to come at you but THEY ALREADY ARE COMING AT YOU. What more do you want to do? Deny them even further? There is a 'you' who claims to want to be a man and wants to attract women. There is a 'you' who takes delight on pissing them off. Choose one and let's get on with it.
Indeed Kasabi. I can't explain it though. At the cinema I was enjoying myself so much: good movie, I was with friends, and then I received this text-message. I was so happy. I guess I got so satisfied about all this that I froze. I was in my little comfort zone. As a result, I replied one hour later. I've been an idiot.
Quote:
But, don't let any of the advice on here lead you to believe that you must create this god like persona where girls will just continue to need you and "come to you" after something as irrelevant as a number exchange. That is a pipe dream if you ask me. You gotta lead, you gotta take what you want or leave it behind if it doesn't fit your exact needs.
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It has nothing to do with that, pay attention to what I quoted. Your still waiting for girls to add you, invite you, etc. Your taking a passive role in a lot of interactions.
Yes I now understand. I was a bit lost between the "don't be too available" and the "go for it" mentality. I think I've been spending too much time in my journal. I was not seeing things clearly, I was overthinking stupid situation.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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