Hey guys I'm new to this forum. I picked up the Carlos Xuma masculinity program and realized what a truly nice guy I've become. The funniest thing is that I was mostly too nice of a guy around guys and surpressing myself as a man because I've had a history of bullying. I chose some bad friends early on not that I am necessarily an easy target because I proved I had the brains to deal with other men and there ball busting and I'm 5'9" 200 Ibs with good looks which guys seem to be value more than even girls at times. Anyways, so some of the part of the program is about power laws and just what to follow in my life. I've become very depersonalized as a person, sex drive is low due to some psychological damage sexually and also due to depression. I just don't see these situations in my life to use these! Also picking up women is very hard due to the above situation with my sex drive. I've stopped tapping into my masculine energy and now I'm relating to women not necessarily better but seem to be very comfortable since there isn't any more sexual frustrations to work out. Also even if there was the psychological damage makes me afraid of feeling them at times. Anyways, so now I'm very natural in my game and I'm not saying it's the best because I get very frustrated with myself when things don't seem to be escalating. Just because there's hardly any desire to. So it turns into a "good time" where I really am not getting what I want out of it and she probably is throwing me into the potential friend zone since I show good qualities and attractive qualities but don't have that fire. In fact the other day I seem to be such a pushover because the girl I brought over ended up in some kind of strip poker game with a friend and I and he ended up fucking her and I ended up sleeping with her. I mean she was drunk but it's still the same. Why can't I be the man I want to be! I think it all comes down for me to have some power over situations in my life but Carlos Xuma's laws seem like they are always about analyzing situations and I just don't see myself thinking so much. Any suggestions like stop being so damn lazy!! haha. Also, how do you guys deal with being the man you want to be and not having a very shifty confidence where one guy looking to compete with you or judge or a girl one ups you and it's down to the slumps again?

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Passion for life is a gift and I will not deny it;
it is the only nutrition for my soul and I will not starve.