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1.What are the best ways to avoid mind games when starting a relationship ? Where do most guys go wrong here ?
2.Just how much influence does the "gaming" stage has in a relationship ? Do you believe it sets like a pattern in one's behavior ?
Great questions poet!
1. I'd love to tell you that just doing whatever you want to do at the start of a relationship will work, and if you two guys click and like each other, then it shouldn't matter. But unfortunately it does! There are times when I've been like "I don't have to pretend to be unavailable or play these little games - I'll just tell her I wanna see her and it'll be fine!" only to have the girl lose interest in me. Similarly, I see myself (even though I KNOW exactly what's going on!) chasing the girls that give me active disinterest, and becoming less interested in girls who are too available and too easy. It shouldn't be like that, but human psychology is human psychology and it's not gonna change any time soon.
So, you can't really avoid playing the games. What you can do, and this is important from the initial pickup all the way through the relationship, is control the frame. From the very moment you start interacting with her, if you make it clear that you don't take her shit, can take her or leave her, like her but don't NEED her, and have plenty of options and could easily ditch her tomorrow and get laid that same night, then she'll certainly be far less likely to fuck you around. The abundance mentality and the stronger reality together will tend to allow a woman (notice I don't say "force") to mould herself around your goals and desires and have her want to support and nurture you, which is a natural drive woman have that makes them feel fulfilled and feminine. If you allow her to keep testing you, and keep apologising and refusing to lead and be dominant, then she'll keep doing it and be frustrated, whilst simultaneously losing attraction for you by the minute.
Sasha told me a story about this girl from a while back. From the moment he started talking to her it was shit test after shit test. He went up to her in the club, talked, then he left, came back, talked a bit more, then got her on the dancefloor. Went to put his coat down, she fucked off. He went immediately to his friends and hung out with them. Saw her again, talked more. Asked for her number, she gave him some story. Asked again, some more bullshit. Again, no I can't cuz... Again, ok fine here it is. Arranged a date, she shows up 30 minutes late, he's hanging out with the people at the cafe and doesn't even notice or care. She's 30 minutes late for their next date. He gets her inside, and she says she's not sleeping with him, he says fine you're probably terrible in bed anyway
Then they're watching a film and he escalates and she says no. He says cool I wanna watch this film anyway. He waits, and she escalates on him and they fuck.
After fucking her asks her about the whole thing. She ADMITS that everthing from fucking off to not giving her number initially to turning up 30 minutes late to telling him she wasn't gonna fuck were ALL TESTS she PURPOSELY DID to see if he'd react like a whiny bitch, at which point she would have immediately ditched him. Moral of the story - she will test you, and all you have to do is NOT REACT.
2. Absolutely. I think a huge problem with guys learning game is that they create a "Game persona" based on their favourite PUA like Mystery or Gambler or whoever, and say the kinds of things those guys would say in certain situations. This leads the girl to believe that they have a certain kind of personality. Suddenly, the guy fucks her, and stops using the material, and becomes the same value-sucking AFC choad he was before he learned game. Lo and behold, the girl is like "this isn't what I signed up for at all!" and gets the hell out of there.
The ONLY way to prevent this is to mix and match aspects of game that are actually congruent with your personality, or develop your game to the point where it truly is part of who you ARE, rather than a set of tricks you do and say to get the girl. Once that happens, then your interactions after the sex will be the same as after, and the girl will learn more about you and be happy to be with you for who you really are.
For me, this shift came when I learned a style that allowed me to be super direct and honest with women, whilst still retaining humour. This meant I can show my positive aspects to the girl, and not have to worry about hiding anything, especially not my romantic and sexual intentions, from her. This has meant that a lot of the cocky and funny off the cuff witty remarks, innuendo and banter, just flow naturally out of my interactions, rather than me being constantly worried what the RIGHT THING to say is at the right time to get her attracted, or to build comfort, or whatever step I'm doing is. It also means I'm never worried about her "finding out" that I'm "gaming" her - because I tell her from the first few minutes that I'm hitting on her!
My relationships at the moment are great because I can talk openly about what I do and who I am, knowing that the girl likes me and respect me. This all stems from the fact that every step along the way with her I was always 100% honest, 100% clear and direct, and 100% confident.
CHAT
) 
got to meet up some time in London