Ok, Im friends with this girl who has a boyfriend at another University. She sits beside me in lecture class, however a new guy joined the lecture class, and she now chooses to sit beside him because she likes him. It's obvious -she is all over him. This leaves me feeling "kicked in the head" and put out to the trash. I truly doubt that this is a tactic to make me jealous. Yes, I've told her in the past how I've felt for her and all that. I also have censed a lot of equality from us both we how we felt for each other. The problem or obsticle is that she is from another culture - persian. They are raised to believe to stay within the culture.

So my Q. how should i respond? If I'm suppost to just go along with it, I'll feel like a chump. If I ignore her or some thing like that, apparently that is not the way I should act. It is low status male or something like that.

Ignore man,

Whatya supposed to do? call her out on it and look like it gets to you?


Just go as far as you believe you should.. if she keeps it up.. clearly her behaviour is not co-operating with your beliefs, morals, life.. thus move on..

Thx for the post. By "ignore" do you mean forget about the situation but keep the friendship going? Or do you mean actually ignore her? If I do that, then that would also look like it gets to me.

let me break it down for you

A girl sitting next to you in class=/=attraction.

You telling her how you've felt and she 'leaves' you? Ouch.

Again, you sitting next to a girl in class=/=attraction, where do you get the idea she liked you in the first place?

I think the real obstacle here is you dicking around with her, you don't give us much information here, so I'm just assuming the worst.

Honestly, you can better forget about this one.

Thx for the post. I didn't go into details cause I figured it would too unfocused. I have flirted with other many girls and she has shown jealousy herself over this.
(Weather right or wrong, I tried to use the flirting as a sort of tactic to see what resonse I would get). I don't know if that qualifies as "dicking around." Last December she was getting out of a relationship and I was trying to develop one with her. I was making some progress, but I got a bit of a big mouth and involved other people when I should not have. I should have keeped my mouth shut and that created some tention. Anyway, I knew her for almost 2 yrs. She knew how I felt even before the class thing. The idea behind her liking me is the feeling of passion I received from her. However, the culture thing is also an issue and this new guy is from her same culture.

Sure Persian or other middleeast ethnic guys will date american women. This is because they know they will get sex from them. In the end though, they will marry a girl from their own culture because they are virgins. However Persian girls will not get involved in a relationship with a guy from another culture. Not neccessary because of religion. Hope these details are good.

persian??? from iran or afghanistan?? coz most people think afghans are Persians as well which is not the case if shes afghan, then yes the culture part is true unless shes westernized

She is Persian from Iran and has been in Canada for about four years. Her age is 24. She is definately not westernized. I am her only white canadian friend. The new guy speaks Farsi (persian) and is from Afghan -probably is Pashtun. Myself, I am white canadian. I am around many imigrants and there are some Afghans that are persian.

Yeah, for sure.. see it's not supposed to get to you.. it's not like this girl was your girlfriend.. you have other options, right? just mentally move on.. I mean talk to her, be her friend.. but you need to adopt the mentality that her behaviour is not good enough for you.. therefore you've moved on. Simple.. You've now Friend Zoned her!

The problem I think you have is your too involved already with this girl from your side..


I don't actually understand why this bothers you? i mean, she's into him, not you.. that's just cos you haven't been the stronger male, or she likes the way he looks better, or what - the - fucck - ever.. who cares.. it is what it is?.. why dwell on it?