So here it is my first post! Been browsing around lately and I like the "realness" of things here where we all have our sticking points, want to make progress, people are helpful to each other, and there aren't the arrogant mr. know it all i'm better than you person.

My goal with this is to keep a narrow focus on my progression towards some focal points. As well as my current game plan for approaching to what situation of PU is occurring.

Will try to make things not too long as I tend to get lost, lose interest and just skip long posts. This is likely the longest one, but i want to get to the points in the future

About me.

28 years young, just your average Michigan guy doing my best to get by. working two jobs and looking to go back to school, one of a few reasons is because I miss the people. I have wasted away a lot of my life dealing with depression and anxiety and feel I have come to terms and progressing through it, so in other words its not holding me back minus a bad day here and there, but I am am my best me so far Have had one serious girl friend in my life but really haven't had a real connection since where myself and a girl felt comfortable.

I like the natural game perspective as i want to be the real best me, have good intentions, and just be real. But the Mystery Method which brought many to the community is a great scientific method or path

Current focal points

Being warm and playful everyday. And when your not remembering (on a bad day) what it takes to truly be this = Genuine interest, enthusiasm, a warm genuine smile, good fun, and positivity. (positivity is the one that often is the most challenging as often more sarcastic)

conversation threading - being focused in on that person, listening, relating to it with your experience, escalating the conversation, being witty, and playful.

Needs more insight - Introducing a sexual vibe into the conversation

Game Plan

I mentioned a general game plan above for approaching and in general imputing the 3 main "phases" where ever needed. I hate saying the word phases because I don't want to just go through things like a checklist and that once you get past one phase you just go to the next and forget about the previous.

Basically its a work in progress and is

* before this I think you need to have focus.

Attraction
- on open shaping the vibe as warm and playful
- getting them to laugh and smile from your playful, fun and witty conversation

Comfort
- getting them to talk about their likes, and hobbies, etc
- you talking about your likes and hobbies etc
- getting it on

Seduction = sexual tension
- Double entendres
- sensual working
- sexually descriptive storytelling describing a sexual act


*I know a few parts are missing, kino escalation sticks out to me, but i got the kino escalation ladder down, and introducing it early with a stranger is a challenge, but I feel I can include it as it feels naturally right in the interaction

* I think confidence is a big part of PU but life in general and I think of confidence as being able to do what you want in life without any hold backs. Confidence grows through going after what you want and when something gets in the way, you thinking about it (often without you realizing it as you are supremely confident) in your head and empowering yourself through that roadblock with pathways. Visualizations I think are really good for making these pathways, but with my past (anxiety/depression) it was more of more roadblocks put in the way and dread instead of the making of pathways


* maybe you can see some Vin DiCarlo influence. Not trying to say anything bad at all about Vin, but I want more warm playfulness and I think he doesn't produce enough of that.

* Another major influence, which I haven't seen or heard much about in here. Why not! is Craig Ferguson of the Late Late show. This guy just brings out the best in his guests, is fun and playful, and creates a sexual vibe.

So there it is. For sure look forward to hearing from you about input, suggestions, help etc or whatever!

Check these Craig ferguson videos out, these help me with my game. Im watching this one right now, and Im already excited after after the first 30 seconds. lol

Bow chick a wow wow!
dub a u, dub a u, dub a u dot youtube dot com/watch?v=bZ1XPxaf-0E&feature=feedu

march 2nd
Had been thinking about going direct recently and a topic on the forum helped me out and mainly some posts by blondeguy.

So I went to the local grocery store the other day because I needed groceries and figured it would be an excellent place to meet a quality girl or two.

I wanted to go direct and pretty much say I saw you over here and thought you looked cute etc, whatever i genuinely feel.

To cut to the chase 3/4 of the aisles through with shopping I finally see a girl that is attractive to me way down at the other end of the aisle, so I made my way down that way. I had some AA as i was making my way down the aisle and looking/ pretending to look at some items. Just as I got close, her facing the other way, she heads out turning towards the previous aisle, and she also was talking on the phone. I didn't do anything more.

felt following her down the aisle would have been borderline creepy and she was on the phone so it would have been hard to engage her. Saw her again as she was going to the self check out(still on here phone)as i was going getting ready to checkout myself. another lane was open and i didnt want ot bag.

I still feel I chickened out. and wish I would have talked to her. Logistics was a little bit of a problem as I didn't want to follow her around the store.

Maybe she wouldn't even had noticed it, but I would have liked to meet her head on rather than behind and given myself the opportunity to open her with a direct compliment approach.

I have been thinking about this for the past 24 hours and was a little down disappointed in myself for not opening her because this is something i want to do. Also i realized a weakness with this approach is that it requires you to only approach a girl based on looks while I think it limits you and other conversational openers such as some of the ones Tweeby is using in his approaches to get over approach anxiety.

But still the issue is there of how would I have delivered my opener to this girl and this is something I can think about tonight with positive visualizations as i relax.

And darn i got to get these more concise. I like the format tweeby is using

-Nate

Hi Nate,

I am not an expert but here is my 2 cents:
I think you have a wrong mindset. IMO you must think about what makes you special.
If you're not comfortable talking to unknown women, you should ask yourself how to maintain the conversation instead of thinking « how to attract » « how to build comfort »
I think direct game requires a lot of confidence. Maybe you should try to go indirect first?

I can see where you could get this idea, but really it is just a description of me right now, it isn't a limiting belief. I don't believe a good paying job is what makes a person attractive or happy, but money sure can help. Although they say you will never work a day in your life if you love what you do, so that does have an effect on your happiness
I'm fairly comfortable talking to women in one on one situations, but while one job, a 2 day a week one, where im engaged in work my mind is in work mode, and it does tend to go blank when it comes to having short fun conversations when its slow and people are available to talk. Also I tend to be a little clammed there because it isn't a job i like. So being able to have short non work related conversations is something that has me thinking of solutions.
hmmm, i'm kind of split on this one because i see where being direct you have to have great body language, and indirect could be less pressure and be more of a laid back vibe.

But going direct makes a girl feel very good because of genuine appreciation/interest and i think it excites the girl. Something to think about where you are having frequent conversations with a girl as you cant always compliment her.

at work today and there is a girl I pretty much just want to fuck. I feel nervous around her and we have awkward tension. I had talked with her about 6 months ago related on past hard times. She looks good and so do I.

She has given me IOI's over the last 3 weeks or so, but I always feel shy around her and unable to maintain eye contact. She has a boy friend, and she is into girls sexually, but has some issues. I think she has heard from others i think she has a nice body. But she has a sexy body, has said things like "that gets me wet" "I don't know who im going to fuck" and "boyfriends are over rated" when she is near me, but not directly to me in the past 3 weeks or so. Told her I watched craig ferguson and she said that is her "old man crush"

She seems to come near my work station a lot but I ussualy try to stay busy because of awkward silence once again am unable to keep eye contact with her without feeling scared.

perhaps i feel guilty about just wanting to fuck her and am afraid i would just be brutally honest with her and say so.

it seems it would be awkward just to say that to her.

But I want to, maybe it would come out good if I said it in a playful tone.

just some brain storming.

"it's a good thing you have a boyfriend because I would take you and fuck the shit out of you. - the "its a good thing you have a boyfriend" kind of doesn't make sense and what does it say? and I think "take you and fuck the shit out of you" should be calmed down to " do some dirty things with you"

I don't know.

The more I think about it though: "it's a good thing you have a boyfriend. (pause to let her think about it just for a moment) because I would be doing some dirty things with you" said in a playful tone, and I think she might blush in excitement, and i would have a great smile on my face

problems

- being that direct and brutally honest
- if she gets offended by it it could spell trouble from supervisers
- she could totally think im creepy if said in a wrong tone

On another hand maybe it would be best for her to get word of it via second hand by someone else who hears me say it.

I think i'm getting somewhere with this..its getting me excited.

Do you have thoughts on what you would do in this situation, or what you have done? Would love to hear them!

I think it's very risky to go that direct at work. This can result in losing your job. The question here is, do you want to risk that job for a single fuck with her?

Great!

Regarding your coworker... I also think it's very risky. Plus if you're shy around her, might be hard to go direct on her.

Keep us informed.

right fellas, doing this at work would be too vulger, next time i see her out, I will say it

No exciting story really here for the reader

What ive been doing is going in with having very little expectations of a situation and it releases your mind to be focused in on the moment. Where your focus should be.

Also in a sense i narrowed my focus to just getting used to being in those situations and I can work on taking the conversation in the way I want later.

Been going to the grocery store and opening using situational opener, and I missed out on doing a compliment opener.

She was a elegant looking girl in the self checkout ahead of me, with a french look almost. I had a great thing to say in my mind but It didn't get out, as she went to the checkout. We ended up just sharing complimentary smiles.

But i was going to tell her she looked very elegant, and that I could tell she was a Russian spy( lol I know, french look i realized that later and i dont know my dometic styles) but anyways I wanted to say that I knew her secret. I really don't know where I was going with this now, but at the time I did.

But anyways what Ive learned

1. Putting yourself in these situations at first can be frustrating because you put pressure on yourself to do it, then when you don't, you feel bad and your in a position of forcing things so you come across as uncomfortable, but more so too bold. Overall i just need to be relaxed. Say on a level of 1- to too 5 - too serious about yourself and judgemental, I need to be about a 3 or 4 in being more in tune with someones feelings and maybe conversational about it. My 5 vibe wasn't creating the best situation. This I realized partly when approaching a girl in theself checkout with ice cream saying "Is that all your going to eat tonight" to which she said the same back, then i told her she should get chicken soup because its healthy and i explained the nutritional value when your sick, as she had ice cream cuz she was sick.

= to summarize = be more relaxed and not quick to be judgemental or commenting on there words, come at it with and understanding and more in tune with making a women feel good by your body language.

2. it's more important to listen to what the person is saying than to be quick to talk. Keep your focus on them non verbally, the right eye contact is good.

So these are the 2 current narrow focuses i want to keep consistent with my interactions, not counting the open which has been conversational, and genuine complimentary is coming about