I'm curious... I wanna hear from the dudes who were dorky that became alphas...

& does Anyone else feel like the world wants you to live up to their Stereotypical dominant male expectations for them to love you, but if you dont they could care less?

I can chime in on this because of my age, life experience, and study of the subject.

is it born or learned ? I think both, and its a case by case basis.

As far as roles and acceptance, I know what you want to hear, but that isn't the truth. The truth is that the sensitive guy is in a tough spot. Modern culture and the female sex drive are against you.

A lot of things can be learned while other can't. That being said: the dominance factor of a guy is an ability, not a skill that you have or don't have.

Dominance is actually just being selfish, you act on what you feel and what you want. Therefor neglecting the primal functions of pleasing somebody else. This is a turn-on for a lot of ladies, eventhough some try to deny it. Deep down they al want to be dominated or handled as such.

≠ LD

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Yes, this is the secret. I live with my mom in a small apartment and do not have job for the moment but I tell ladies i am in a big penthouse and alpha an so powerful like. They believe me because they see my citizen watch and know for sure. Yes! Alpha and strong. Then I tell them, you are beta seals the deal. You better please me bitches! Ha ha. This makes them very happy. No? Then the next secret is to slap them. Not really slap them because that will kill them. Only slap enough to bruise only little. This proves my dominance and my selfish style and they will kneel to me.

The slapping pretty much crosses the line tho.
Or you're being sarcastic like hell - in that case no problem.

≠ LD

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Dominance is not about being selfish and putting your needs before others. Though it's often used to that affect.

When a commanding officer orders his team to draw back and move round to a better position. Is that dominance?

Well yeah, but it's not for the officers benefit, its for the benefit of the cause, in fact in many ways its for the benefit of those grunts doing the fighting.

What about a swimming coach? He has dominance over his athletes, he tells them what to do, when to do it and gives them a dressing down when they are late for practise.

Is this for the swimmers benefit or the coaches benefit?

Dominance is about having authority and an over-whelming influence over those around you, for whatever purpose.

@Fin

You're contradicting yourself. First you say it's not selfish.. and second of you say it's for "whatever reasons."

Yes, in your example I can see your point. But the captain of that ship can actually do this for his benefit aswell, hoping to get good reviews by his man for knowing his tactics and that way get a promotion.

≠ LD

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I think it's born and learned and comes in three parts.

1. Born - Some guys are born smarter, stronger, taller, more handsome, good at sports etc. than other guys which gives you alpha over guys who are less smart, less strong, shorter, ugly etc.
I do think this is the least important part though.

2. Learned1 - Secondly it matters how your parents raise you. If they are they boosting you ego by compliments, spoiling you etc. it will give you more confidence than someone who get's yelled at alot and treated badly.

Those first two things give you your base alpha status which matters mostly in pre-school, high-school and more or less college. In those years you will develop who you are and if you have a good start with your genetics and raising you will become alpha more easily. These two things are the most important and will largely determine your youth.

3. Learned2 - What we are all here for on this site. Sure, this site is for laying and dating women but what do you need for that? That's right, alpha status. Some guys had luck with number 1 or 2 or both of them but step 3 can make them both irrelevant. Everyone can learn these things. It sure helps if you have 1 and/ or 2 but in the end you can change your complete behaviour by learning everything there is to know on bedding women.


The conclusion; some guys are lucky with their genetics and/ or raising but if you really want to you can be whoever you want to be.

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Quantity. Because someday, you will find quality

I do agree with most of your post, except for the part where you're born with it. I think it's all social upbringing. If for instance a guy is good looking he'll get treated differently then an ugly child, and we all know beliefs are shaped at the age of 0.

Personality has a lot to do with it too... if your teacher for instance says: "You suck at sports"

one guy will go: "yeah... he's right... I better just quit and do something else"
while another guy will go: "fuck him, I'm gonna train and improve and then I'll show him he's wrong!"



anyway, if you're asking if it can be learned, then yes. It can.

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

yea, deff true.

No contradiction at all. I suggest you google the word.

You're saying a neccessary and sufficient part of dominance is self interest, I'm saying Dominance is about a persons relationship to another person or more, what is done with that relationship is up for grabs, and with real world leaders its rarely as simple as the "Me big monkey, me take food" paradigm that you're throwing around.

Just like there isn't a one size fits all method in pick up for guys, the same tactics don't always apply to all women.


Be careful when you generalize.


Actually paying attention to what turns a girl on and what doesn't is 10 times more effective than just sticking to one policy.

That's the difference to seeing pick up as a numbers game or something you can get skill in.

I think you guys are both right, but looking at different contexts.

Dominance for a general is still working within his role granted by society. He cannot do things only for himself, he would lose his job quickly. He is working for a larger effort and still following orders from higher ups. For him, dominance over his people is a job requirement.

Dominance in context of sex is different. You could be dominant for the sake of the woman, so its not selfish. However, that won't work for some women. They want the selfishness aspect, otherwise they call it "topping from the bottom". But if a woman looks back over her shoulder and says "if you were a real man you would smack my ass like one" ..... As General Patton said "you will know what to do"

I recommend watching the movie "Blue Velvet" by David Lynch just for starters if none of this makes any sense. Then watch "The Secretary".