I am a huge noob and just found the site, so please expect everything I say to be noob like. I'm also going to try to keep this pretty short.

I met a girl from an internet dating site, who in my opinion is a HB10. It could be that in reality she's only a HB8-9 to the regular population, but to me she is in the top 1% for sure.

I am going to make this story very short, and will almost certainly be leaving out tons of very pertinent information. Just trust me when I say that during our dates she was definitely really into me. We had three amazing, intense dates. She made it clear she didn't want anything too serious, for many understandable reasons (she's applying for jobs in other states and could easily be gone sometime in the next few months, she just broke off an engagement 5 months prior etc etc.). She was also seeing other people (which I didn't care about at all). Being the noob who just got out of a five year relationship two months earlier, I pushed my agenda in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways (which was to create something more serious).The night before our fourth date, which was prefaced by all kinds of intense melodrama, she texted me "Hey, I don't think I'm going to meet you tomorrow, I'm sorry". Based on the context and prior history, that's basically equivalent to her saying that she doesn't want to see me again. I had realized already that things were getting much more intense than she wanted, and due to the fact that I had other cool dates lined up, was finally ready to chill the fuck out and be to her more what she wanted, which was someone who's company she really enjoyed and wanted to have fun with on occasion, which would also have been really valuable and beneficial to me.

In any case I replied to her text very quickly with the following:

"Hey, it's totally cool. I'm disappointed of course but I understand. If you want to give me a call and talk about it, it's fine, if not that's ok too. I hope you are doing well, and I'd be happy to be friends if you are up for it".

That was five days ago, and she never replied back. Before we go on, let me make it clear that all I really want from her is to be part of her life somehow, hang out with her on occasion and etc. I don't really care or need to care about wanting anything more, since when we are together we have such strong natural chemistry and attraction, that it'll be awesome regardless. I want her around for the following reasons:

1. She's unbelievably attractive, which is very very good for my confidence with other women. Spending a fun relaxed time with her once a week, will almost certainly help to make me more relaxed with all other women and more attractive.
2. We have an amazing fun time/chemistry together.
3. I genuinely really like her and think that she's a great woman. Definitely plenty of issues, but at her core I really like her and she definitely really likes me too.


So anyway no response for five days.....and I had made the decision that I'm just not going to contact her again. It's clear that something about my energy was bothering her, and I decided that fuck it, I'm not going to push my energy into her life if it's not wanted. I think it's pretty clear from my text message that she can contact me whenever she wants. My honest plan was to maybe just check up to see how she's doing in a few months, but aside from that she was getting nothing without initiating.

So anyway last night, she spied on my profile. This is clearly something that you are not supposed to do if you are completely committed to removing someone from your life (for those who don't know, when you do this, it shows up very clearly that the person has viewed your profile, usually if you want to avoid someone you go to all lengths to avoid clicking on their profile). I have done nothing in return yet, have not clicked on her profile in response or written her anything and my question is should this change my behavior in any way? Should I gesture that shows I'm at least still on her mind? In all honestly I do believe that a message would have a reasonable chance of success in bringing us back together in some capacity (I'd say in the 20-50% range), however waiting a bit is nice too, because the option certainly isn't going anywhere and if I give her the chance to make contact, that makes my position much more powerful. I would normally always wait in this situation, but the fact that she could be moving at any time, means there is a little more time pressure to the situation than usual.

Forgive me for being such a noob. I've just been dating for two months after a five year relationship. I just found this forum last night and am excited to read more!

first of all, you are in love with the chick and are trying to intellectualize that fact away. face it, you've got it big for her. or you wouldn't be posting about it here. so, let me first start by saying that being dishonest with yourself is never a good way to begin the process of correcting or bettering a situation. you are in love with her, and she doesn't seem to reciprocate. you say you would be happy to be any part of her life, but we both know that isn't true. you want to be "the one" for her. it's clear by the praisefest of how awesome she is, that you just posted above.

step one. accept what you know to be truth, what i just typed above.

step two. realize you've done all you can do. i think you left things off very good with her.

step three. move on. do not initiate any further contact. if she feels as strongly as you do, she will find you. (don't pretend to move on, don't "say" you are moving on, don't think about moving on...actually MOVE ON)

best of luck to you.

all of the above is only my opinion.

Thanks, although I promise you I really am not in love with her I honestly just want to occasionally spend time with an extremely hot girl that I have great chemistry with. I don't think this is so outlandish? I am dating other people. I chilled out a ton before our fourth date was even canceled (which unfortunately she never got the chance to be aware of), which is probably why I was able to react so even-keeled.