Dont try too hard man, it seems like you already had it in the bag but you still didnt blow it. You should game other girls and forget about this one. Maybe she just doesnt want an LDR? If you want to keep gaming her then you cant take shit from her. If she doesnt respond then text her and ask her why the fuck she isnt responding if she wants to be your friend cause thats just confusing. If you want her as a GF then just try to connect with her, make your connection seem real and valuable. You've already dated her (she had a blast it just seems that you were too worried about making things happen in the right way. Either let it come naturally or make it happen.) and been talked to her. You already have a relationship so texting and talking to her shouldnt be a big deal, just gotta build on it by being genuine. She might just be wierded out by what youre giving off as intentions

First off, I think You shouldn't expect her to response each time. You might put yourself down 'cause of that . Disappointed etc.

I had a situation once (the VERY beginning of my PUA journey) and I #closed a girl even though she had a BF (I only knew only few things about pick up). I texted her 2 days later, no response. Waited 5 days, sent her 2nd text. No response and I just told to myself "NEXT!". I knew I screwed up back when I met her (I was tad bit drunk and then just had no interesting things to say). The thing is, I see her lately quite often and got this "I couldn't care less" attitude so she won't think that I'm a stalker type.

The thing is, after few texts like that You'll know she's just not interested and if she's not replying You can't really build attraction, can You

I disagree with tomatoRAWR on the idea of confronting her why she's not replying. Why? Well 'cause that's not what a man of higher value do. He's not bothered 'cause has other choices and options anyway so why bother about this one? In fact, I think she'll feel more like an idiot if she sees You and You won't mention it like it didn't get to you at all.
The girl I mentioned earlier, the one that didn't return my texts, when I saw her like 2-3 months later SHE was the one that said she knows me and at this point I had totally more alpha body language and attitude. And I gotta tell You, she was somehow DRAWN by my presence but I just didn't want to move forward. Thought I need to rebuild my image and that's what I do at the moment when I see her.
I'm cool, not needy and I don't take things personally and act like it's no big deal. That's the right attitude I guess.

Though I agree about NOT verbalizing Your intentions directly. If You want to show her You like her just escalate physically. No need for all this "I really, really like You and care about You." Dunno why but the moment women hear something like that they feel like they got the power over You and I think some of them just do it unconsciously.
Escalate physically. That's the way IMO.

Oh well... got You another pile of things to think about. Sorry about that .

Don't worry so much about future (like your "what if she won't reply for couple weeks"), focus on the NOW. Girl seems into You but, like tomatoRAWR said, it looked like none of You pulled the trigger. I don't think it's a lost cause.

Chin up,
Mav-

My feeling is that you may not have escalated enough in the theatre. Hard to say though, only you can really make that call by being in the situation.

I've had that before a long time ago, at the movies, I made subtle physical movements, which she picked up on and seemed to be ok with - but went too slow, at the end of the night (and this was second date) she was hugging my arm to her breasts but that's as far as it got. I was just too slow. Instead of having dinner after, she kind of moved things quickly, just like you described, and bailed. And she said in the text "I'm sorry, you seem to have gotten the wrong idea, as much fun as I've had on our date, I don't want to go on another one " And of course, the line about me getting the wrong idea was BS, because if she just wanted to be friends from the beginning, she wouldn't have been hugging my arm to her breasts

But I definitely failed harder than you just did. Because although she likely didn't see you in a sexual way because you were possibly moving too slow, she didn't react too badly, and the part where she said "Yes but as friends", well nowadays I know to just ignore that and keep the ball rolling - like someone else earlier said, if she'ss still willing to hang out with you one on one, that's the only reason you need to keep it going. You have to know that it doesn't matter what she says, just what she does, and what you know inside - she may say one thing in one moment, but later on she can change her mind (and justify later saying "oh I always felt SOMETHING...")

It's hard not to feel gutted when she says "yeah just as friends" and respond with something like what you did (and the 2nd message after that was bad as well, just like the other guys said) but that's the key - learn to catch that feeling and just keep rolling, convince yourself that information is meaningless. Actions speak louder than words, and as long as she's gonna hang out with you again, that's all you need.

And still, even after those last 2 messages you sent, the best thing is still to go ahead like she never said "LJBF". Still be funny, and still read the vibe as always and in this situation, you will likely detect that you'll need to dial certain things back a notch so she doesn't feel like you like her more than she does or that you want to get physical before she does.

Be attractive, make her want you. it should be possible to interject subtle kino and comments at the right moments to help her see you like a boyfriend, all the while making it look incidental.

Certain conversation topics too.

I can't give you direct advice on all that though, you must feel your way through that.

Thanks guys, when we held hands I'd squeeze her's every so often and she'd squeeze back and smile a lot but every time I looked over to her(without squeezing) she was really into the movie and she wasn't leaning on me. So I took that as a sign she didn't want to be kissed. If I went in to kiss her I'd have to either lean way in or get her to lean over to me somehow. That's why I didn't go for the kiss. Maybe she did want to be kissed and she's pissed she wasn't so she put me in the friend zone?
Anyway, I guess the best course of action is to send her a funny text in a few days. How about this one?

"Did you know there was a study that found that 90% of girls masturbate in the shower and 10% sing, do you know what those 10% sing? "

Then wait for to ask "what?" and you know the rest

I think it's funny and could dial sexual tension.

Any thoughts?

Also I figure I'll send 1 or 2 funny ones a week tops since she won't be in town for another month or so until she's in town all summer. I want to spread it out. If i'm texting her every day or every other day I think it would put me further in the friend zone.

I'd save Masturbation in Shower thing for when I'd be with her face to face . I think it's too powerful and too funny to waste it on text.

Good Luck with it.
Mav-

Yeah well I'm not sure what else to use yet that is nearly as funny and powerful. I probably wont see her in person for a few more weeks at best so.

Just some info: She's graduating in May and she'll be in my town full time for an entire year. That's why I'm trying to invest in her otherwise I wouldn't bother since I don't do long distance right away.

Another thing I just remembered but forgot to mention, I don't know if it means anything. I gave her the "trust test" about early/mid way through the date and she failed and I briefly told her what it was after the test and she was like "please please test me again later" And at another time in another conversation she said "I'm gonna pass that test" and I asked why are you so determined? And she said something along the lines of "It's something, don't worry about it's dumb" And I gave her a weird look and moved on in the conversation.

I don't know if she was playing me or what either.

I'd say, well played . You played it nice, she failed and You told her that and then she was trying to make it up and make things right. She was trying to win You over .

Don't focus ENTIRELY on being funny. If she replies You can flirt, bust on her etc. You got that stuff in guide I sent You.

Mav-

Well yea that was during the date before things went south and I royally fucked it up. Other girls have told me that if she wanted to be kissed she probably would have been leaning into me in the movie theater and looking at me a lot but that wasn't the case. I haven't heard from this girl since Saturday so I figure I'm going to leave her cold for a few weeks (in hopes to build up any "miss me" feelings) I figure it's the best shot for staying as far out of the friend zone as I can. If I'm texting her all the time I become more and more of "just a friend"

I agree with You on that. Freeze her out a bit I guess.

Yeah apparently she just posted a love quote as her facebook status (not that I'm stalking her facebook) so my guess is that maybe there's some other guy involved and I might have been friend zoned regardless.

But yea I'll definitely freeze her out and hope she gets in touch when she comes back in town for the rest of the year. If she doesn't then I'll give it one more shot then I guess but it will have been almost 2 months so I should be able to start over.

Just don't wait around for her to text back or for her to come over. Start seeing other girls IMMEDIATELY. Don't believe in scarcity. Plenty of women out there.
Maybe before she decides what she wants, You'll find someone much better .

Sending some text every couple weeks to wait for her reaction is not a bad idea. But I'd follow a rule here that if she's not replying often then I wouldn't sent her texts often.

I hope You know what I mean.

Mav-

I don't consider myself a PUA, but to me that translates into "well, I'm not THAT interested in you...."
You pushed too hard IMHO, I think she was still undecided about you, and you forced her to make a decision by trying hard. You should have built more attraction and comfort first, and THEN escalate when she's really ready for it.
Well, you know, that's neediness.

Translates to: "Well, I'm afraid to tell you the truth, so I'm just writing something back and hopefully you'll back off a bit finally..."

Translates to:" Yeah, then I really have to give you another hint about what's going on, can you finally back of a bit please?!?"


In my opinion you pushed her much too hard while she wasn't really into you. Then you observed yourself that something went wrong, and then you became needy because you didn't want to accept the truth.

Yeah thanks, I think that's the most realistic perspective. Unfortunately I was under the impresssion that she was really into me since SHE facebook friended me, SHE gave me long message responses right away, SHE suggested we start texting, and her responses mirrored mine.

Unfortunately because of that I really fell for her too hard too quick because she had the most in common with me (taste of music, movies, food, hobbies) than any girl I've ever met and she was a HB9. So I guess this just ripped out my inner AFC that was still hiding in me all these years. Oneitis sucks.

Anyway I haven't texted her since that night and I pretty much decided I'm going to back off for a few weeks and hope she "misses" my texts and texts me out of the blue and I'll start over as a total non AFC. If not I'll wait until she's back in town and try and start over that way. Otherwise till then I'm trying to game other girls, unfortunately I don't have many other options other than online game right now.

Hey, what do you know, she texted me today(one week later):



Her: Hey! howd your break go?

(3 hours later)
Me: Really fast unfortunately. I'm just leaving to go back now, how about your week?

Her: My week flew by extremely fast and I still have over a billion things to do lol did you do anything special/exciting?

Me: Aside from running 80 miles + working out and watching basketball/movies. Not really. Next Year I'm going on a cruise though. Not looking forward to this week, it's going to be hell.


(No reply for 6 hours, and me wanting to push this in a new direction)

Me: Your a dork, did you know that?

(5 min later)

Her: Haha what? why am I a dork?

Me: Yea....you just confirmed that, your a dork.

(3 min later)

Her: no I didn't! lol

Me: Yep you did, and now your a bigger one than you just were.

(5 min later)

Her: haha whatever! I meant why do you think I'm a dork cuz i'm not lol I def would not call myself one! lol

(30 min later)
Me: Haha you keep digging a deeper hole trying to defend your dorkishness, as for why, I have a whole list of reasons that's too long to text. First Symptom is denial, dorks always deny being what they are

(30 min later)

Her: Lol a whole list huh? well does that make you one for calling me one?


And that's where it ends. I'll probably let her ponder for a bit and respond tomorrow night sometime with a good comeback


Any ideas?

How did I do? I'm trying to get out of the friend zone