Hi!

I am Znak, I am 29 years old and I live next to Paris (France).

I saw quite a few journals on here and it gave some motivation to sarge again.

Where I come from:

I had really bad AA all my life notably because of a fucked up childhood. Just approaching a stranger was a nightmare, approaching an unknown women was the end of everything. Had a 3 GFs but our relationships never lasted long.

What I did so far:

-I lived/studied/worked abroad to push myself into new situations
-Changed my beliefs, improved my self image, built positive anticipations
-Worked on my body language
-Since I am 26, I tried to « pick up » almost every girl I met at university/work (working warm approaches)
-Resigned from my stressful job (underpaid lawyer)
-Moved to Montreal where I started to do cold approaches (only for a few months)
-Came back home, did some street game including some limited direct game

My numbers are quite awful, from May 2010 to October 2010, I did only 38 cold approaches, got 2 numbers (night game and abroad) and 0 lay.

Since October I did 0 approach. My lack of results killed my motivation and I decided to study hard to enter a program (I passed the first selection round, 2nd and last round next week)

Where I want to be:

I want to develop my personality/lifestyle and to get ride of all my fears.

By the first of July:

1. I want to join the local lair. To do so I need to pass a test:
In one hour, I have to do 3 approaches lasting over 3min (one over 10 min, one direct approach, one number close). Unlimited attempts during one hour. Location street/malls

2. I want to see my six pack
My weight: 79 kg (173.8 pounds)
Height: 176 cm (5.7 feet)

My goal for tomorrow:

Getting back on track

1. Approach at least 5 girls. Start the conversation with « I need ideas on what to buy to a girl... I go to a birthday party on Saturday, blablabla ».

2. If I get an IOI, go direct « I am shy, but I think you're cute and had to talk to you, my name is Znak... blabla »

3. I cannot eject, the girl has to stop the conversation.

Feel free to comment and give advices, it's important to maintain a good level of motivation

Cheers,

Z

Bienvenue Znak.

Good to see another French starting a journal. I'll follow you.

Good luck.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Thanks Daniel!

It was quite hard to move my ass. Usually I go out with other guys, there is a kind of competition and we motivate each other. This time I headed toward Boulevard Saint Michel all by myself.

Most of the girls I passed by were trying to protect their bags and were looking down. I think I was so nervous that I looked like a psycho

Took me 45 minutes (!) before I start to ask for some direction (3 times) just to get comfortable, then I opened one girl waiting alone and two chicks standing in front of a shop.

The girl alone told me to go for a scarf, I asked which color was trendy this season, she says khaki. I asked what she was doing, « waiting for some friends »... then I have nothing to say and I eject.

The two other girls: I touched one of them before talking so I am sure they won't ignore me (they were talking), then they asked some questions (how old is the girl? how much money I want to spend...) they tell me to buy something at Pylones (not a bad idea btw), I transitioned on what they were doing, some minimal fluff... and I eject again.

Well, I didn't open 10% of the girls I saw. I choose the easy ones (they were not moving)... I opened only two « sets » and I ejected... I was too ambitious on my goals. I need to go baby steps.

Goal for tomorrow:
3 directions (to feel comfortable)
3 opinions on gift (one more than today)

Saturday:

I asked for directions to random people, trying to make it harder (asked from the other side of the street, asked 2 BIG angry looking guys, group of 5 people)

Joked with an attractive lady at the bank (she had troubles using her computer). It's something I never do, I am more pissed/aggressive usually. She laughed. I was comfortable but had nothing to follow up.

I did some shopping, the place was packed I felt like I was in Tokyo. Failed to approach three random girls. Not to go back home too pissed, I asked 3 saleswomen for their opinion.


Today:

I also did some minimal shit, while running I said Hi! To every person I pass by (I didn't count but something like 20 times). Quick chat with another runner who was resting. I saw only one hottie, I said hi but didn't have the balls to run back and to start a conversation.

Instead of having unrealistic goals, I'll work on developing two competencies I lack of:

1.Initiate conversations with strangers: keep on asking directions/initiate chat with random people (not only hot girls). Implement the habit.
2.Lead the conversation/have something to say: need to make some notes, learn it by heart and practice it.

OK, now more studying. I should have some free time after the exam on Tuesday.

You're doing great, that's exactly how I began. You'll see, the next milestone will be to make a transition from the opener to a conversation.

Keep it up!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

After 10 days I've lost 3,1 kgs (6.8 lbs). I run 5 times a week, I do basic exercise (push ups, pull ups, abs) and I slightly reduced my calorie intake.

I kept on talking to strangers the whole week. Nothing special, just to get used to it.

Yesterday, I started by some direct game in the street. A nice girl passed me by, I ran after her, touched her over the shoulder to get her attention.

Me: I think you're cute
Her: Thanks

I introduced myself, asked her where she was going. But she kept on walking, I stopped and kept on talking, but she didn't stop so I left. I think I leaned forward.

Then, I asked a girl for her opinion on a gift, she said no idea and she just left.

In a make up shop, I asked a hottie if it's OK to buy some make up for a 13 years old girl? Quick chat on make up, gloss, lipstick... and I ejected. The interaction was OK but I chickened out, I had a voice in my head "she's too hot, she's too young, you're an old perv!".

It looks like I don't feel AA (no alcohol involved) , but I keep on looking for excuses "too young, too many people, not a mixed set... ". I still believe it's socially odd to ask opinion in the street.

My frame has to be "I am just being social", instead of "I am hitting on girls".
It's normal to talk to girls in the street!

Znak, I'm also totally new at this.

Keep doing your approaches, but try to guage your targets. I'm watching David Wygant's youtube videos, and one thing he mentions is selecting good targets.

If a girl is doing the speed limit in heels, or not, you may as well not open her.

That happened with me in the mall yesterday. A young Black woman walked past me super fast, and with her head down. I saw her again later, and asked is she always walks so fast. She kept speed walking with her head down as she replied she did when she had somewhere to go. Prior to that, two Black nursing students came back from WalMart after a breakfast run. They were in a rush due to real time constraints. My target did all of the talking, but had nothing to say. The other girl looked off into the world and said nothing. There was no hope for me there.

And if you feel you are talking to girls who are too hot, too young for you, I suggest this. The former is not an option. Who are they to disqualify you simply because they look good? Demonstrate Higher Value, and then you become hotter than they are! The latter, simply approach slightly older hot women.

You don't have AA, so work on better openers. Also, if girls pass you clutching their handbags, think of changing your appearance. No halfway smart girl would clutch her handbag if your clothes look like they cost more money than the sum of the contents in it.

The buying something for a girl opener sounds AFC. In my opinion, it makes girls wonder what your intent is with that girl, i.e., you want to be more than friends with her, trying to win back an ex, etc. But if you like that opener, say the girl is your neice, or your boss' daughter who is like a neice to you.

Don't give up the ship, mate!

_________________
"You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting." - Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars

Thanks Daniel and Commbassador for your comments!
I am trying to approach girls I like. Then if they're busy, I don't take the rejection personally. It's still another approach under my belt. My main problem at the moment is I don't approach with 100% confidence... and the only solution is to approach some more I guess.
I think it's more a self limiting belief from me. When I am in set I just try to find a good excuse to eject.
I agree 100%. Now I use the gift opener as a warm up and I try to go only direct, but it's quite a challenge

EDIT: quote edited

Wednesday:

I just tried to get used to canned stuff on saleswomen in a mall. I cannot use it on girls on the street or malls, it feels stupid.


Thursday:

Girl n°1
As I am waiting for a wingman, I see a girl listening to her ipod. I touch her to get her attention.

Me: You're also waiting for somebody, we should kill time together
Me: What are you up to?
Her: I am going to watch a movie
Her: I am waiting for my BF. She turned around.
Me: I don't care, I just want to chat
Her: I don't want to chat with you

I was not really confident when I approached so I think I was a bit creepy.

Girl n°2
I spot a HB, I run after her, I touched her to get her attention. She was scared but she stopped.

Me: don't worry, I just want to say you're gorgeous
Her: thanks, but you shouldn't touch people like that
Me: it was just to get your attention, you want to beat me up? (I faked to be scarred)

She smiled but she walked off. I think I should have been more persistent.

Girl n°3
A hot blond passed me by. I ran after her. This time I don't touch her.

Me (as I step in front of her to make her stop): don't worry I don't want anything from you, but I thought you are absolutely gorgeous and I just had to talk to you
Silence, I kept EC
Her: well, I am surprised. I am not used to be approached like that in the street (it looked like she really appreciated it)
Me: It's weird since you're so good looking, anyway it's a sincere compliment
Me: Are you French? (I thought she had an accent and she was a real blond with blue eyes, it's not very common in France)
Her: yes
Me: Oh I thought you had an accent
Me: what are you up tonight?
Her: I am going to meet some friends, but I don't know where they are
Me: Damn, how are you going to find them?
Her: They will find me
Me: do you know the name of the bar?

Her phone rang, she talked to her friend. As I am waiting for her to hang up (30 secs maybe, but it felt like an eternity), I started to think, to doubt.... I said I had to leave after she hangs up.

I am pissed because she was hot as hell and I feel like I should have asked for her number (she was smiling, looking down when I kept EC and she stopped when I stopped, she started to walk when I started to walk). But the conversation was quick, I was running out of things to say and I couldn't believe she was attracted to me.

I also opened two other sets at the station. I made up some jokes about a big heater in the station. It went well, but they were not really attractive.

I think you should modify your approaches, I see you're not very experienced, so I'll try to give you some feedbacks on the basics of daygame

1) DO NOT APPROACH FROM BEHIND, basicly never. Approach from behind = creepy dude, running away from him. The ideal approach is going in front of her with a 45deg angle, and not face them directly (over the shoulder).

2) do not touch them on the opener (one of them even told you, lol), start touching them only after you created some comfort.

3) cut the crap "don't worry", "I don't want anything from you" and stuff like that on the opener. Go directly to the point. Start with "Hi" or "Hey" or whatever but DON'T JUSTIFY your behavior, you're not doing anything wrong! Also, avoid giving order on the opener "we should kill time together".

I see you are going direct, this is good, it is the way to go.
This is a very simple opener that works 100% of the time: "Hey, I like your style! Where did you buy those *enter some stuff here*"
Then switch to something like "I want to buy something like this for my sister/my friend for her birthday, bla bla bla".
And you're IN. They will never reject something like that because you show yourself as a calm confident person that like a piece of their clothing and want information (they love shopping, man, give them some bait and they'll swallow it!)

Yep I thought it was an easy way to get attention. But it clearly shows it limits.
I am not sure about this, since it limits the girls I can approach. I'll field test some more to see if it's really a problem.
Great tips! Thanks

EDIT: realized I didn't quote properly.

First number close in day game

I had a really bad news so I wasn't in the mood to sarge... but I made the effort to move my ass thanks to the gorgeous blond of Thursday. She gave me some hope

I met a friend. We joked around but I still felt like shit.

***

I am looking for hot girls, I missed two good opportunities. I am totally in my head. My wing opened a two set (a 9 and a 7,5), I talked to the 7,5 to help him.

She's from the US so I practiced my English. I just asked a question, made a comment about her answer, asked another question and so on. I guess I started to get her interested (she brushed her hair aside, funny look). My wing was struggling with his target and the HB9 dragged her friend away.

***

Then a HB8 passed me by, I run after her. I "attack" her from the side and turn around.

I was in a district full of tourists so I started in French by « excuse me, do you speak French? ». She stopped easily.

Her in French: not really
Me in English: I was walking with my friend and I saw you, you are cute I just had to talk to you (I had to look for my words so I didn't make EC when I made the « compliment »)
she looked surprised.
Me: where are you from?
Her: Switzerland/Zürich
I made a lame joke about Switzerland and she doesn't laugh, asked a few more questions and tried to make comments about her answers. I asked too many questions though. I talked really fast, but I was not overwhelmed by emotion so my brain was able to process things.

I found out she's an exchange student, so I make her practice her French, as I get bored of this, I told her she spoke good French (true) but too slowly and I switched to English.

Me: do you like coffee?
Her: actually I do
Me: I know a place where they make a great coffee (I kiss my fingers to show it's a delight, dunno how to explain it, it might be a French thing).
Me: Give me your number so we can try it (I took my phone out assuming she will give it to me)
She hesitates.
Me: If you don't want to give it I can go away (I walked two steps away from her)
Her: well, I am going to give it to you (since it's a new number, she doesn't know it and she shows me the SMS with her number on it, so I guess it's legit. I forgot to call her right away so she doesn't have my number)
...
Me: what are you up to?
Her (embarrassed/pissed?): meeting friends
Me: Have fun

I think it's a weak number since she just asked 2 questions (are you from Paris? And my name before I #closed her), a part from talking to me I didn't notice any IOI. I guess I got the # because she is new in town, maybe bored. I felt like shit during the interaction but I was enthusiast to hide my nervousness.

Weak or not weak, it's my first number in street game!

I was really tired and I couldn't find any hot girl alone so no more approaches.

***

So far, I think I was too focused on calming down, speaking slowly, not moving too much not saying stupid or weird things etc... But I am full of energy, I need to do react fast and speak fast. This way, I fell like I am more spontaneous, I think less about what to say, I just say it.

Oh, and I weight 74,6 kg now

I am getting obsessed by PU

More direct yesterday.

***
Finding a hot girl by herself and not on the phone is fucking hard (and I was next to Opéra Garnier....it's always packed with hotties!). The good thing about it is... if I see one I just HAVE to talk to her (I chased the first girl for something like 2 mins!).

One HB8 on natural looks but all dressed up (high heels, mini skirt, make up etc...). Same approach as usual except I started by « excuse me do you speak French? » and I was careful not to open from the side where she holds her purse. Opened easy, she smiled and was flattered.

It was my first approach so I felt my heart beat really hard in my chest.

I just asked questions, and couldn't find any proper statements to make.

It was turning into a questioning and my heart couldn't slow down, I was too focused on it.

I ejected.

***
One 7,5. She stopped, I said she was gorgeous. She said « oh » walked away slowly, I persisted a bit « I express my feelings and you just walk away, OMG you are breaking my heart, you are so mean » she smiled but kept on walking. I didn't like her enough to persist more.

***
I was so weak with the swiss girl I couldn't find the balls to call her so I texted her instead... just because I felt uncomfortable to do so...

EDIT: I guess I wasn't so weak got her interested enough to answer. EVERYTHING is about your own beliefs....

***
-I need to do some warm ups so when I see a chick I like, I am actually ready to talk to her
-When a girl is just cute, I cannot tell her she's gorgeous. I don't like the translation of cute in French, so I'll go with adorable. I really need to believe it, I think the girls can feel it.

-From now on, I'll assume she is attracted by my boldness and my looks/style/BL. I'll try to screen HER and I'll talk about topics I like (and where I can actually make statements!): traveling and taking care of oneself (sport/style/make up)
-I am going to plan a structure in French so if my body abandons me I have something to hold on to.

i'll follow your journal.

couple quick notes. To make convo more fun try:

instead of asking questions-make a statement.

e.g. instead of "Do you like coffee?" "You look like a person who loves coffee"

1)yes-"I know this great place. They have best coffee in Paris." (Describe how awesome it is.) *Look at your watch*I gotta go now, but you look pretty cool. Write down your number, I'll call you."
2)no-"then what's your favorite drink?"(Names drink)U can make a joke about it. then "I know this great place...bla...bla...bla, Write down your number, I'll call you."

Try it out.

Keep up good work.

P.S. 176 cm is 5 feet 9 inches.

Thanks Fighter!

I did 2 warm up ons saleswomen, they're really great to warm up since they have to talk to you.

***
First direct approach. A 7.5 the usual opener with more conviction.

Then I practiced my transition on her looks, I obviously checked her out from head to toes and asked what she did to be so good looking.
Her "haha I don't know"
I start to screen her a bit, she failed on the sport practice.
She seemed to be lame, she had a voice coming from the nose.
I didn't see any reason to continue so I left.

***
Second direct. An 8 usual opener.
She stopped but she wasn't really interested but was polite.

***
Third direct. A 7.5 usual opener
I asked her to make me a compliment, she did twice (the second slowly into my ear), transition, checked her out, she laughed when I teased her because she doesn't practice sport.
Me: My friends are waiting (I have nothing to say and it's obvious she's into me)
Me: I want to meet you again. Do you like coffee?
Her: No but I like tea
Me: then give me your number
Her: no, I want to set up the meeting right now
Me: no, I want your number
Her: Are you a stalker?
Me: Yes
Me: Let's trade numbers
Her: ok

We traded numbers. When I gave her my first name she goes "oh another Znak", I teased her on having too many stalkers, she said that they are just friends.

It went really smoothly, she was fun so talking with her was a pleasure.

***
Then with my wings we approached chicks pretending we are gay, rate us. I teased them on not giving me a ten etc...

We got hilarious interactions. It was really funny (at least for us ).

***
I keep on stalking the swiss girl, just for the hell of it. I am waiting for a FUCK OFF answer to stop, but nothing yet.

I am starting to have fun in this PU thing