I have vast experience dealing with women with these kinds of issues. your job is not to fix other people. It possible but it's a losing game. but at the same time may be this person just needs a good friend that has their crap together (Leave them better then you found them.)

A. Move on instantly.
B. If they are cool and have friend potential, friend them and lead by example, not by direct involvement.

This will save you alot of pain and drama

_________________
…ALL IT TAKES IS A LITTLE CONFIDENCE.
Website: www.ManVsDate.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/SirJohnSharp

Its funny that, when you love someone, you can't bare to see them having so many insecurities. You just want to build them up and make them feel better about themselves.

The thing is though, that trying to do all these things for your partner or lover, could have very contradicting effects. Either you build them up too much, and they become bitches, or it doesn't have the desired effect, and you're disappointed and could even become obsessive.

What I've seen happen more than once is that, the man builds up his woman, trying to build her self confidence and essentially trying to "fix" her. He then has the expectation that she should validate him and make him feel needed and wanted. Which makes you needy and clingy.

So all in all, avoid if possible, accept things as they are, and accept that you can't change people you can only change how you react to them.

Guru

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Welcome to my reality ~ DeAngelo

Yeah, it appears I have become one of these girls. Annoying to hear that I'm not worth anyone's time cause of my problems. People may want to change but they don't know how or don't have the resources to do so. There may be heaps on inner game for guys but not so much for girls. Maybe some forgiving guy (or girl) needs to write a book on how to uncrazyfy a chick so that I can read it? If someone wrote up a plan, kind of like a gym plan but for esteem issues etc, I'd give it a go.

And I agree, it's best not to try and change a girl you're seeing. I've had that many a time before, and I end up worse off cause of it. I'll do that stuff while I'm in the relationship so I can feel I can gain acceptance from the person, but afterward I lose a sense of identity somewhat and I don't feel I can continue to do the activity afterward cause the goal is gone and it therefore seems pointless. A good example of this is the gym, I'll often go to the gym if I want a guy to accept me and he likes gym girls, but afterward it seems pointless that I tried and I feel resentful that guys have such high standards/expectations. However this time round I've continued to go on my own accord cause, it helps with both my mental and health issues. But yeah, it's better that she goes to the gym cause she wants to, not cause you expect it. If she didn't go to the gym when you started seeing her don't complain about it afterward or go on about gym girls to her, that shit is lame. It's your problem you settled, not hers.

I find going to the gym confusing these days cause I'm unsure who I'm doing it for. I've done it so many times for others expectations of me but not myself. I was happy how I was but it seems guys don't like it so it's easier to change than to have to hear complaints about how I look or how much fat I carry, or that I'm not in shape. But I guess that makes me resentful of men and feel like they're all shallow unrealistic pigs.

Anyways, half of that was ranting and didn't make much sense, but that's my crazy two cents.

I've had many woman ask me to write a book for them. But I got to finish the one i"m doing for men first.

But as an experiment I would be happy to give you some food for thought.

In order for this to work, first and foremost you have to want to change. you have to be willing to take responsibly for your life. This is the one thing that no one else on earth can give you. I has to be your choice.

Second, we have to go deep. You have to be willing to push your boundaries, face your fears and be completely honest.

Do you agree to these terms? If your on board let me know. If not, no harm no foul.
-

_________________
…ALL IT TAKES IS A LITTLE CONFIDENCE.
Website: www.ManVsDate.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/SirJohnSharp

I don't know how old you are, but I'm in my late 20's and I see less and less this kind of women, maybe she needs to grow up ? Or she has a deep problem. But you want to be a lover not a psychologist. Sometimes, I still hear such kind of things, if she mention "all men are jerk " ... I just ignore it, like she didn't say anything, or I say "It's not easy to find people with values" ( you imply that you are a men with values ).

Out of curiosity, What part of the country are you from? And what kinds of places do you hang out in.

_________________
…ALL IT TAKES IS A LITTLE CONFIDENCE.
Website: www.ManVsDate.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/SirJohnSharp

I'm going to agree with the previous commentators on this one. If a potential romantic interest has serious, unresolved problems, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, regardless of gender. You can't fix someone else, regardless of how hard you try. It is up to the person with issues to fix/heal themselves. (Note--this should in no way be taken to me that individuals have to undertake such a course on their own. You may be the one learning to walk, but that doesn't mean that someone else can't hold your hand at least part of the way.)

Everyone has issues--the important factor here is not the issue itself, but how you deal with it.

Sure, sent you a PM.

I'm talking to my female friend and she's saying a guy she met wants to hang out with her.
She said she likes him and is turning down the invites for 2 weeks and is thinking about disappearing for the guy just because she feels uncomfortable and insecure about meeting a guy she doesn't know yet and doing it alone.

I wonder how many women are like this? And how to solve this?

It's really interesting.

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"Their compliance is,
'Does she grab your hand?' F*ck you! I want to grab her mind. If I can
grab her mind, she'll be grabbing whatever I want, any way I want her to." - Ross Jeffries