Date: Friday, January 28th, 2011
Goal: Have fun & hook up

Went to Cassiar to get drunk. Got drunk for free; everybody gave me alcohol. Pregame in Cassiar residence was okay. Stuck in my head though.
Teased a cute girl I hang out with, calling her a lesbian jokingly. Got called out on it by a buddy, brought my confidence down.

Lessons learned: Learn to move past any sort of criticism or judgement by others. When stuck in your head, relax and listen actively, in the moment.

Then got a call from a girl, telling me to go to a party in upper cascades. Told me to bring as many people as I could. We all left and went to the party, showed up and was greeted energetically from most people there, brought my energy up. Felt like a social butterfly.

Then I started measuring my night on hooking up. Called a girl from a different rez, asked where she was, told her I’d go get her and bring her to the party. I did. Nothing happened; I tried to be funny, didn’t really work. They went back.
Drifted down to the caf, saw two girls who had rejected me for a number back in September. They were gorgeous, it occurred to me that I hadn’t achieved my goal of hooking up and that I would never get a girl that good looking. Sulked and pitied myself and decided to get a pizza. Went back to my room and felt sorry for myself. Posted a drunken and emotional post of frustration on <a href="">PUA Forum</a>. Went to bed drunk.

Lesson learned: Don’t hang your whole night on hooking up with a girl. Don’t set standards for your night that if you don’t meet them it will ruin it. Have fun, and learn to say ‘fuck it’ if things don’t go your way.

Also, started writing a pick up journal. I hope this helps.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Date: Saturday, January 29th, 2011
Goal: Have a good time, don’t worry about hooking up

Went to a friend’s house downtown to party. My main group was there – about 15-20 people there. I wasn’t drinking, which I’m used to doing, so I felt a little antisocial at first. Wasn’t particularly motivated and felt down about the previous night. Feigned confidence for the first little while, tried to “fake it till you make it.” Didn’t work.

Lesson learned: faking it till you make it doesn’t work. Learn to say “fuck it, this is just how I am, I’m gonna try and have fun with it” in situations like that. Don’t settle for being an ambient backdrop to the party. Be the heartbeat.

After a little while, told myself “fuck this”, got frustrated with being so lame. Drinking games were going on. There was a game of “thumper” and a game of beer pong. Went from watching beer pong idly to being an active participant of the thumper game. People started giving me beer because I didn’t have anything to drink. For a little while I was having a good time until I got back in my head again.

Lesson learned: when having fun like this, don’t let alpha males put you in the backseat. You’re in your element having fun, keep doing it. Join the fun and be the fun, even if you’re not drinking.

It seems that I’m mainly in my head when there are people around me who are funnier, more confident, and more socially dominant than I am. I begin to compare myself to them and how successful they are. When it is just me and a few girls or people who I am comfortable around, I am fine for the most part. It is when these dominant funny people are around that I take the backseat and feel kind of insecure.

Lesson learned: forget any negative past experiences with people you are partying with. Don’t go into a party and see somebody and immediately think of how they made fun of you or make you feel insecure. Pretend you don’t know them if you have negative emotions attached to them. Start anew.

After a while, sat down in a chair in the living room and was ready to leave. Asked when we were getting a cab home. A group of cute girls were there, and I asked myself “why aren’t you up talking to them? Why are you sitting here like an asshole?” So I got up and approached. They were talking really closely. “You guys are talking really close together, is that a girl thing?” was my opener. Easy to reject, but they laughed and invited me in. I was comfortable with them – conversation went smoothly. Talked about Seinfeld and how girls always go to the bathroom together. Made lots of eye contact the whole time.

Lesson learned: do this more often. Don’t wait to approach – these girls were at the party the entire time, and I only talked to them the last 15 minutes before we had to leave. See a girl you want to talk to, take control and talk to her.

Eventually had to leave. Waited outside with the girls, kept talking. I felt really comfortable with them. Cabs came, but there were four of the girls and only four could fit in a cab, so they got into a different cab than I did. Didn’t see them when we got back to campus. Went to bed.

Lesson learned: Don’t be afraid to ask a girl if she wants to take a cab with you.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Sharplin,

Nice to see you try this out. Let's get right to it:
What do you imagine goes on in the board room of the most progressive companies? "Hey, let's make lots of software and have lots of fun!" . . . "This year, we'll make lots of cars and make lots of money!" . . . You must be specific . . . and you must dream big.

Read AFC Daniel's journal thread, particularly on page 11. There's a reason why 'dream' is a better word for 'end goals'. There should absolutely be no restrictions on you DREAMS. This is your life. No one should EVER hold your dreams back, especially not you. Just write that fucker down on a big sheet of paper and sign your name right on that thing. . . date it.
You're going to have to curb down on the drinking because you're telling us an interpretation of events. There's no material to work on here. Try to be specific. Try to be accurate. Just write down EXACTLY what happened. Who said what and who did what and that's it. This is just an emotional interpretation. You're skipping many steps. ^This is correct but currently, you have no viable alternative as you have no plans for a night other than, 'let's feel good and be social and not worry too much." - A better plan ought to read something like, 1. Approach at least 5 sets tonight. Try _____ opener and _____ opener. Tell 'future date stories' and connect our pasts through people we know, etc . . . Details, details, details. But first, read AFC Daniel's journal thread. His journal is not a journal at all . . . it's a strategic plan. You have the ability to do this.

Thanks for the response, it's good to know I'll have some support and feedback along the way.

Yeah, I figured it's about time I grew up and actually started taking an initiative to get better.

I see what you're saying - dream big, know my end goals, but keep the specific steps in mind along the way. I'll keep this in mind.

Yes, I was kind of seeing it from a third person perspective when I was writing it, so I filled in the blanks myself and gave a vague interpretation of what happened, and how I felt about it. I'll be more specific next time - time to put those writing skills to some use.

I checked out AFC Daniel's journal. I think I might emulate (fancy word for COPY) his format, I like the way he lays out his journals: Day _, goals, report, lessons. I'm gonna start doing that.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

^Sounds good.

Many confuse the difference between "dreams", "goals", "strategies", and "tasks".

There's a time to dream, there's a time to think, and there's a time to act, and there's a time to reflect. The important thing is to focus on what's necessary for that time. You have often made comments in the past about 'goals for the night'.

"I must get laid! No let's not worry about that. Let's just have fun! Let's just socialize! Let's just ______." - This occurs because you never set out clear 'dreams' for your self. Because you never set out clear dreams for yourself, you cannot create goals. Thus there is no strategy. Thus there can be no tasks. Thus there is only confusion.

There are of course some people who do all of this just as easily as if they were ordering a cup of coffee and stirring in cream and sugar. For the rest of us, it helps to unload all these crazy thoughts out of our brains and into an organized plan.

So it is true that when you go out, you will not be thinking about larger goals because you will know that the daily tasks for the moment were created from of your larger goals.

Example: An Olympic boxer begins training with the Olympic Gold as his dream. He learns that in order to accomplish this dream, he'll have to accomplish certain goals prior to the games. (Maybe lose certain amount of weight, figure out a few new moves, gain more strength, etc . . .) So he creates daily tasks to achieve all of those goals. When he is actually lifting weights, he's not thinking "Gold medal", he's thinking 'breathe, pace, technique, . . .one more rep . . " - Pretty simple really . . .

Day 4 - Friday, February 4th, 2011
My first kiss close!

I didn't even plan on going out. I was packing for a camping trip the next day, when a girl I'd been talking to texted me:

Her: "Get drunk tonight... yep, sounds like a good idea."
Me: "Haha sorry, no drunk call tonight. Can we still be friends?"
Her: "I don't know about that.. jk, i think we can manage. What are you doin?"
Me: "Packing for my camping trip."
Her: "Oh, lammmme."
Me: "Nah, it's totally worth it."
Her: "I'm going to come visit you!"
Me: "Okay, we can have tea "

I didn't think much of it and kept packing. Then there was a bunch of knocking on my door. I opened it, and it was the girl I was texting with three other girls, clearly drunk. They came in, I introduced myself to the ones I hadn't met. They went into my bathroom and asked if I had dry erase markers to write on my mirror. I gave them the markers and they wrote a bunch of stuff, like "Sharplin, you're a dork ", and "You so sexy".

Then I showed them my one piece snowsuit. The girl I had been texting, let's call her Jessica, then told me she didn't like it and she unzipped it and took it off of me. I thought that was kind of weird, and I said "You would want to undress me". She laughed.

Then they left and said they were going to the caf, and I went back to packing. Jessica came back about 20 minutes later.

Me: "I knew you'd be back."
Her: "I'll always be back for you."
Blah blah blah, can't remember what was said after that.

Eventually she saw my Wacom tablet on my desk, and asked what it was.

Me: "It's a tablet, you use it to write on the computer, like drawing."
Her: "Can I use it?"
Me: "It takes a while to set up, but sure..."
Her: "I don't care just plug it in I wanna try it."

I plugged it in and set it up and she started writing. The first thing she wrote was "Jessica thinks Sharplin is a chicken."

Me: Why do you think I'm a chicken?
Her: I think you know...
Me: Uh... okay.

I had my travel bag on, and asked how it looked.
Then she wrote "Your bag is as big as you."

I looked at her, and she gave me a suggestive look back, so I just said "fuck it" and went in for the kiss cause I absolutely knew she wanted it. We made out for a bit.

Me: "It's about time." (I need to work on what to say after kissing...)
Her: *laugh* let's go party.

So we went to a party. On the way there, she kept saying how I just made out with a drunk girl as if that was a bad thing. I said "So? It's not like we fucked." She then said she would give me a call at 1 in the morning if she wanted to fuck, and I agreed.

This kind of went on like that, we made out again later in the night, she kept asking my friends to distract people so it could be just me and her. I wasn't really into it, so I wasn't making a huge effort to keep hooking up with her. She got all sassy and started saying "in your dreams" and stuff like that to me. Eventually I got bored and went to another party.

This was my first real kiss close. Nothing huge came of it, but I'm glad I got my experience in.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

You know what the funny thing is? Not so long ago you were running your mouth off about how unfair life is... Suddenly you start to go the whole plan and execute route and you get a kiss close. Anyone else here want to try the journeling method?? I know you guys are just itching to do it.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Hey Charplin,

I was kind of busy lately but I finally managed to take a look at your journal. Hope it's going to help you as it helped me. I'll follow you. I'm going to learn stuff I'm sure!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Haven't posted in a while, been really busy.

Eventful couple of weeks!

1. Wedding

Went to a wedding. Very fun night - weddings are even better than word makes them out to be. It was a gay-wicken-burlesque wedding. Yeah, how many of you have been to one of those? It was a blast!

Wedding night:
Goal: don't even think about hooking up. Do whatever fun thought comes to your mind without hesitation.

I ended up having a blast. I got super drunk for free. I had lots of really good conversations with very interesting people. I chatted with a professor about the value of an Arts degree for about an hour. That turned into a discussion about politics and liberalism vs. conservatism, which escalated and spiraled into a deep conversation rather quickly.

I also gave a drunk toast with my brother to my Uncle, the one getting married. This was apparently hilarious, and everyone at the wedding loved it. It was just like in a movie.

This was all fun and good, but didn't have much to do with seduction or pick-up, so I'm just glossing over it.

Missed opportunity:
The entertainment for the night was burlesque dancers. Yes - sexy women dancing and flashing their tits in extremely revealing clothing. Apart from the awkwardness in the presence of my entire family, it was pretty cool. Also due to the presence of my family, I felt the need to keep any game a covert operation. Stealth game was all I felt comfortable doing - I felt awkward gaming in front of my parents or siblings.

Any conversations I had with the burlesque dancers I have forgotten. Point is, nothing happened with them.

Lesson:
Clearly, the lesson is don't turn down such an opportunity! If I had the chance to go back to that wedding and change something, I would talk to these dancers more. From what I heard, they were very interesting and smart people. From what I could tell, they were also very sexy. Next time, I'm not going to pass up an opportunity like this.

After the wedding, I was still very drunk, and decided to go for a walk around Vancouver at night. It was about 1 in the morning, and I was drunk and horny, which is a fatal combination. I went wandering around the city streets at night, and I swear I would have fucked the first prostitute I bumped into. It's a good thing I didn't find any. I walked by the water, had some deep and emotional thoughts (something I have to do less of), and ended up by all the nightclubs.

First set:

This is where my first set appeared, somewhat unexpected. A woman came up to me, probably mid-20s, attractive, wearing high-heels.

"Excuse me, my car is out of gas and I need to get home, do you have any cash you can give me?"

Being drunk and my only thoughts being controlled by my dick, I wasn't quite sure what to do.

"No, sorry I don't have any cash or I'd give you some. Good luck though, that really sucks. There's some people across the street though."

I pointed to a group of young people, probably just out of a club, hanging outside a ritzy hotel.

"Ok, have a good night..." She went across the street to the group of people.

Before I could even get to the next block, the girl came back.

"Are you sure you don't have any cash? Those guys didn't have any."

"Um, yeah actually I have my debit card, I can take out a 20 for ya." Overly nice? Desperate? I convinced myself it was just a nice thing to do. I mean, it would suck to be stuck in town without any gas at 2 in the morning. Still, though, it was a stupid thing for me to do.

We walked together to find an SPAM for me to get out some cash. The whole time we talked about how some guys would try to offer her cash to fuck her, and she laughed at them and said "Who do you think I am, a prostitute? Perverts." I agreed with her, didn't say much else.

Got to the SPAM, took out a 20 for her.

"Thank you so much, this really helps."

"No problem, I try to do something really nice once a month at least, this must be it." That was my excuse anyway.

I walked her back to her car, and that was that. Nothing happened there. I kept wandering the streets alone. It wasn't long before I went back to the hotel and passed out.

Lesson:
Don't follow your dick all the time. One of the tricks to game is being able to use your brain when your testosterone levels are higher than your IQ. Nothing was going to happen with this girl no matter what, whether I gave her money or not. Nothing is wrong with doing something nice like helping a stranger get home, but there are limits. I could have also gone somewhere else with this.


Set #2:

The next day, I went shopping with my sister, who is 14. She loves Japanese culture, so she made me go to a Sakura store with her, which is basically Japanese clothing.

I went into the store with her, and there was a really cute girl working there. It was awkward at first - I wasn't sure if I could game her with my sister right there. It felt weird. We got talking, which she started. I wasn't sure if she was interested, or just being a salesperson.

"God, I want it to stop raining." She said as she peered outside.

"Yeah, keep hoping. Vancouver is nonstop rain I've heard." I know talking about the weather is one of the worst things to do, so I tried to avoid this topic.

"My sister and I are just wandering around shopping, we have nothing to do for a while. Is there anywhere cool you recommend we check out?" I figured it would be an OK opener. I actually did want to find some cool places to hang out.

"No not really, I'm new here too. I just got here in September."

"Oh really? We're not locals either. So you're just here working then?"

"Yeah I work a lot, I'm going to school at SFU."

I can't remember what else we said for a bit here.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" She asked us.

"Not sure yet, we're here with our family so we're probably going out for dinner. What about you? Just working?"

"Not sure yet, I'll find something to do. I just wish I could go clubbing, I'm 18 so I'm underage. It's weird cause I came from Calgary so I could drink there, but here I can't." She went on as my sister bought a dress.

It's not very often that salespeople talk to you about this kind of thing. I was sensing lots of IOIs. I feel like it could have gone somewhere. I just felt so awkward gaming in front of my sister. Whenever my family is present, it kills any game I have. So I left the store without getting a number, name, or anything. I just kept regretting not doing something or saying something, getting some sort of closure.

Lesson:
Don't hesitate, even in front of family. Circumstances may make you feel awkward, such as being with your sister, but don't let that get in the way. Pretend it's just you and the girl, and go with that. What's the worst that could happen? And besides, if it doesn't work out, you will never see the girl again. NBD.

BUT. I'm going to bed for now. More to come!

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Your entire journal is a punch by punch review of what happened. Continue this way and 100 posts later, your journal will read the same. Prior to that point however, you will get bored and quit.

I'm not sure what's going on here but you have not written or committed to any dreams or goals other than, "let's go out and have fun". If getting drunk and acting retarded every night is your dream, continue. Otherwise, I would highly suggest your write down some specific, tangible dreams. Examples: "Get a girlfriend by May 10th" or "Be able to approach, meet, and ask out complete strangers by _____" . . . Your journal is lacking organization and thus your progression too will lack organization. What's easier to do? Follow some steps with a pen and paper or try to organize your outings as you go?

I noticed this as I was writing it. When I finished I actually asked myself "What was the point of that?"

I hadn't been able to update this since then, and lots happened, so I kind of recapped it. No point though really if I don't have a clear goal and dream in mind like you said. I'm going to try to do this more stringently in the future.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Day 0:
Credit to AFC Daniel for the format of this Journal. 1-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Who am I?
When I was in third grade, I had my first crush. A cute blonde girl who I'd pick on at recess. I gave her daisies I picked from the other side of the fence. I put sand in her hair. I was her secret valentine, and I always sat next to her when I had the chance. Eventually I had enough playing around - I asked her out with a Santa Graham. Yes - one of my first and lames AFC moments happened when I was 7. Needless to say - I got picked on by those girls after that.

I'm Sharplin. Lots of you have read my posts, I've been part of this community for a while. Basically, I've been running in circles for years. I've never had a girlfriend. You can count how many times I've kissed a girl on two hands. Sex? Are you kidding? No such luck. I'm stuck in my head all the time, and I don't know how to properly implement any strategy or technique of game. I am too absorbed in the theory and I am too afraid to actually practice what I learn. Hopefully with a journal and some commitment that will change.

Well, I'm here now, and I'm here to change. I've had enough. I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

What I learned:
- I'm still an AFC, two years into the game
- I can't stick to one girl, even for a full night, before I find another that looks better
- I don't give my social life enough priority

My short term goals:
- ask a girl to hang out by March 4th
- hook up with a girl by March 19th
- number close 3 girls by March 19th
- overcome AA by March 31st

My dreams (long-term goals):
- maintain a positive outlook and don't let emotions bring me down
- become comfortable with myself and my current situation, achieve a new level of confidence
- get a girlfriend that I truly like

I am going to update this journal everyday. Every morning I am going to have a new goal, and, well, I better have something to show for it by the end of the day.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Alright, so let's get started.
What are all the things that you need in order to ask a girl out, hook up with a girl, and number close girls? (I've left aa out because when you obtain these 'things', aa will be reduced but not gone. You'll just need to grit it out and go for it at that point knowing that you're going to battle 'well armed'.)

1. You'll probably need to be able to smoothly open any girl that strikes your interest. To do that, you'll need to have a bunch of openers ready to go. If you know it and you believe in it, then 'not opening' will painful. It would be as if you're holding the latest model snowboard and you're at the base of Vail and not going up the lift. Hey, when you're a kid and dad buys you a new pair of Nike kicks, what do you do? You put them on and prance around town like you own it right? Let's get these openers NAILED! Write, write, write. You're a writer. Get it going. Read tweeby's latest post. That's a great beginning. Do the same for yourself.

2. You'll need to also know a few routines and you should also have these simply nailed. Read AFC Daniel and the f'ing Italian's latest posts. They're really getting the hang of it.

3. You'll need to close. Read the # close suggestion I wrote for grand master a while back. You'll want OWN a few that you can do over, over, and over again.

4. You'll need to create some 'go to' date ideas. In Shanghai, I used to pop a girl on the back seat of my bike and motor her to that water village where they shot Mission Impossible. That was a while I go . . . but I remember every street and turn to get there.

This is all I can think of but if you can think of more 'SKILLS' needed in order to accomplish your list, write them down. Then you'll want to plug these into a calendar. (Write 20 minutes of openers at 2pm. Research routines for 30 minutes at 3pm, etc . . ) Eventually, you'll do the same for field excursions with the same level of ORGANIZATION.

You may have noticed that the ideas I am offering you are bit more rigid and scheduled. Read some of the other journals and I am sure that you will agree that many already have an ability for organization. You'll need to TRAIN yourself to do this as you do not have a history of following a schedule. Take these steps . . . and every step you take, you will notice smiles unconsciously forming on your face from time to time. This is your soul thanking you. Get going.
You do this because you know you're not going to get any where with the first girl so you just hop to another telling yourself the first wasn't that great anyways. From now on, you stick it through until you either get a close, a schedule constraint ends the conversation, or she tells you to please, please, please fuck off.

so what happened next!?