How do I proceed to the next step with her? tricky situation



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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:53 am 
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2 Weeks ago a female friend had put me on video call on Messenger and she had another friend there, we talked and I got her facebook.
( first to put on notice, it was a busy week for me and both of them live rather far, also I need to mention I am 17

I talked to her for a while both in messenger in facebook applying internet gaming as much as I can ( although I hate it before meeting the girl first hand, but then again I had no time ) , she seemed interested already.

So 1 week after getting to know her, I grabbed my car and drove to their town
I came with 2 friends and they were a pretty big group, around 15 people I'd say,
I was being social with the whole group but she was clearly interested in me, kept walking around and coming back to where I was sitting etc.
But isolating her became impossible, even when I decided to give someone a ride back home and told her that I allow her to come to entertain me , a female friend of hers decided to join us.

Then i just gamed another friend of hers, just so she could get abit jealous - because I knew I just couldn't isolate her there.

Alright then, so yesterday we had a mutual friend birthday party, once again she was there - I was inside being social with the whole group, having a good time etc and she just sat outside with 2 female friends talking, after me and a friend decided we'd take them to sit in a mall nearby, so we did - but they seemed isolated from us, we sat for 2 minutes talking far from them - when we came back they turned away 'nicely' to where we sat.

Then that female friend that interdouced me to her came and told us that while we were there last friday, a friend of hers overheard us calling her a 'slut' and she cried alot that eve, which wasnt right - but I could then easily figure out thats the reason for grabbing distance.

After a while we just part ways that night , its important to take notice that she still trys to talk to me in messenger, but in real life she was annoying and chilling due to that subject I suppose.

what do I do about it?
Problem isolating, and what I wrote about up isnt helping me.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:38 pm 
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Anyone, please.
I would really like to get it on with her.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:14 pm 
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Clearly this girl has insecurities. your young and im guessing the girls are very young too. if a girl cries over being called a slut that means she doesnt have a strong frame. when you say you gamed the friend i assume you ran some routines. what you should do is be your natural self and convey your natural personality. it is the best way to be congruent. if your trying to isolate then dont bring so many friends and meet up with her and a bunch of friends. unless everyone has the same idea as you its not gonna happen. your wings need to be aware and work with you. bringing friends who support you in your goal is key. this situation looks terrible. you lost all the power in that her friends look down on you for the whole slut ordeal. if you did call her a slut. then you messed up and take it as feedback by not talking trash about girls. never ever make enemies or disrespect people. and also in large groups you dont have to work the entire group remember. they are not there for you specifically. you need to DHV and not show needyness. so far youve chased after her and invited her out and you seem to want it so badly. just relax and good things will come. you need to be assertive but dont over think it. get out of your own head for a bit and try to stay calm about it. if you really dont want to give up then find your sticking point specifically and figure out its counterpart and opposite. that will be a great way to solve your problem for the future. just remember your only 17 youve got plenty of time ahead of you to get good. so fail as much as you can and learn every time. failure equals feedback

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:14 pm 
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You've been of great help, thanks.
Besides the point where you said I asked her out and made me look needy - in which part did I mention that?

Both parties were mutual friends parties - that we attended together incidently :)
I will try to learn from the experience.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:22 pm 
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You've been of great help, thanks.
Besides the point where you said I asked her out and made me look needy - in which part did I mention that?

Both parties were mutual friends parties - that we attended together incidently :)
I will try to learn from the experience.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:54 am 
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Glad I could be of help.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:03 pm 
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Seems unclear, but from what you said, she supposedly overheard you calling her a slut.

Ok two things - ppl turning away from you requires some explanation - that's not normal behaviour. Secondly, you learned that she thought you called her a slut, that also requires some explanation.

So you have two reasons to be very pro-active right now about approaching her and having some words of exoneration. To not do so would be strange, and even wussy.

The question must be asked - what reason would you have to call her a slut? For example, what was the context of the conversation? Did she over-hear ANYTHING else that would make what she thought she heard more likely?

Bottom line is, what did she think she heard that justifies her crying all night and shutting you out like she did something wrong?

But don't confront her head on with that, just ask her questions and encourage her to talk about it. If you're giving off a caring vibe , she will slowly doubt what she heard the more she tries to describe it.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:32 pm 
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^
You got it all wrong mate. I cant even go through the whole misinterpreter ion :P
Jedi got it right.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:54 pm 
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well every women has insecurities the hotter they are the more they have, weird isnt it but the fact of the matter is that ur game got pulled out from you.


1. maybe u didnt pass her friends shit tests

2. maybe u got put in the friend zone after the first night

3. you cant stop ppl from hearing what they want to but you can work around it by a date or just being more friendly and talking to her about how u didnt say that about her u were calling your friend that or something even if it happened or not if u say i didnt say it or blah blah blah u just went from alpha to omega

the real test in the game is can u bounce back and get with this girl because if i have to fly to you and get her to prove a point i will and it will pain me to od soo lol just kidding, ur young keep trucking and move on if it got too bad


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:24 pm 
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Thanks , I will try my best - if it got too bad
I have certainly learned from the experience and will be better for the next time :)


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