I wrote my previous post on how to react to rejection generally. I thought it might be useful to provide specific examples.

Ways to Respond:

Situation #1

You have approached a group in the bar and spark a conversation with the woman you find most attractive. Then friend X exclaims, "She has a boyfriend you know!"

Response

"Oh cool! I have a couple boyfriends myself." Say this with a huge smile and a playful tone. If the friend continues to harp on the subject, you might throw in, "I'm just engaging in polite conversation. No ill intent here! Just being social.”" If the group accepts the rational, continue with the discussion if you feel up to it. Otherwise you always have the option of moving on. Your exit statement should be congruent with the conversation up until this point. For example, "Okay well it was great meeting all of you. I've got more socializing to do". Your body language, tone of voice, rate of speech, and so forth, should all be congruent with the entire conversation. Refer to paralanguage for more information on this.

Situation #2

You have successfully approached a woman at a location where you can hold a conversation (i.e. not a loud bar). The conversation is light and you are discussing her new kindle. Finally you say, "I have to run, but you are cute: we should grab some drinks later in the week." Her response is polite: "I'm sorry. I'm very busy with school right now, I simply don't have time. Sorry!"

Response

"Don't worry about it at all! I hope you can simply take it as a compliment. Thanks a lot for your advice on the kindle and nice meeting you." She will almost always reply, "nice meeting you to." You simply can smile and walk away. That's it! Simple. Usually a polite excuse is a nice way of saying no. Unless she offers another option or she is sending a strong message of mutual attraction, I would not press her any further. Admitting failure is nothing to be ashamed of. Talk to the next attractive female you see!

Situation #3

Some of the more difficult rejections are the brush offs or the conversations that run dry. This predominantly happens in a bar or night club setting, where women's defense mechanisms are on full alert. Usually women have been dodging advances all night and will be very blunt if they are uninterested, although they may have held a normal conversation with you in another setting. Or they will feign boredom. For example, imagine you approach three women with a friend. You perform a basic approach, but it is obvious they are not interested. The conversation feels as though you are pulling teeth or dragging them along. In other words, it feels like work.

Response

Although you have not been explicitly rejected, you can tell the interaction is not progressing forward. Despite your full utilization of conversation techniques, the girls are being difficult. At this point, I will turn the tables and reject the interaction as a whole. I may say, "Well great meeting you guys, I am going to grab a beer." This allows you to take control.
Nevertheless, this tactic needs to be utilized carefully. If you become overly dependent on cutting things short, it may result in losing out on situations that were not as bad as you may have believed. Do not use this response as a rationale to escape the feelings of insecurity. It should come as a result of a genuine disinterest in the interaction.
However, if used properly, this response can reap positive results. By leaving a lack luster interaction early, rather than staying around to be more bluntly rejected, you may save face for later on. For example, you may bump into the same girls at a later date or later in the night and hit it off on a more positive note. Also, because you have previously interacted, there is a sense of familiarity that can be utilized to build attraction and rapport. I have the option now to return to the conversation if I so desire.

Situation #4

Worst case scenario. You approach a girl, only to be directly denied. She might say, "Sorry, not interested." At the very worst, "Fuck off." Like situation #3, this will happen seldom outside of the bar scene.

Response

I fully empathize with everyone who feels this is a horrible experience. Even the most conditioned daters can be caught off guard by such ferocity. The #1"No No" is to react with anger. Do not react at all. Walk away, laugh it off, and resume approaching. Although this may appear to be the most difficult experience in all of dating, it is, in actually, nothing more than another reality that, when understood, hurts no more than a paper cut. It's one of those, "Oh well!" moments that we have to take right on the nose. All you can do is laugh it off and take the blame off yourself.

-Ben Reed AKA Breednow

www.breednowornever.com

Breednow-or-never (Dating Advice for Smart Men)

_________________
Ben Reed is a life coach and social dynamics expert originating out of Philadelphia, PA.
-He currently is launching his new website in june:
www.Breednowornever.com

I had an experience just like the last one you described and my reaction sucked. The ensuing conversation on the forum here led me to change my response drastically.
What works incredibly well for me now is.

"ouch, well the reason I came over here is because it looked like something was bothering you." rock out "but seriously, are you okay?"

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

I had a direct rejection last night, but admittedly it was my fault. haha I decided to drink last night instead of meeting women and it wrecked all of the game for sure. She walked up to the bar and my friend asked her if she had met me yet. She shook my hand and asked my name. I told her and said "and you are?". She just shook her head and turned away. I laughed and honestly it didn't bother me all that much. A little curious as to why it happened now that I am sober and can think about it, but I'm going to guess my intoxication was apparent.

all of this is a load of rubbish. just because a woman rejects you it does not mean it is a rejection. the reason for the rejection is that you showed approach anxiety (AA), neediness and desperation, and they knew that you were hitting on them. women are extremely perceptive. the response to all of the rejections to the situations described can be summed up in 7 words "DON'T GIVE A SHIT AND MOVE ON!". before you go in to a set you've got to have the frame of mind that you dont care if she rejects you. tell yourself what ever you say or do, you're gonna be rejected. you dont have to be nervous, or worry about what you're going to say or what she's going to think about it. therefore you'll be less stressed and more focused on your game.

women get hit on all the time when they are out by so many guys. they get frustrated that they meet al of these losers and so they filter the out the losers from the cool guys by using their BITCH SHEILD. the first thing you need to do is some research on the other guys how have approached and failed. find what they said and did. I assume they were all sucking up to her saying things like "You're so beautiful, you're so cool, can i carry your books?" all of this BULLSHIT. she has heard things many times and gets very bored and annoyed. therefore one must be atypical, stand out from the other afcs, show her that your not a push over and you're the man.

you're objective is to destroy her BITCH SHEILD and pass her shit tests. usually when guys come front a chick and then when she gives them shit, they freeze and never know what to do.

The idea is not to find the best opener but how to handle yourself after the opener and fight back when she gives you shit.

I think in this situation you should be indirect and use an opinion opener "Hey". wait for her to say "WHAT". then say "i can't stay for long as i've got to meet up with some people. but i need to get your opinion on something. I'm taking my grandma out for coffee later and wondering which is the best place to get coffee Starbucks or NAME OF ANOTHER?". Say this opener confidently and commanding. if you sense/notice that she's about to interrupt you and about to be bitchy say "Now, before you answer, take your time to think about, which is the best place to go?". by interrupting her, you'll catch her off guard and will ruin her bitch rampage that she was about to initiate and will lose her train of thought and will answer. when she answers and ask why you are asking her, show her that you positively validate her by saying something like "thats a good question, has anyone ever told you that you look like a woman that has very high standards when it comes to food and drink?". this will really get defence mechanisms go crazy, because these are unexpected remarks. then she'll think that you're just hitting on her so respond in a way that you approve that she is a straight forward woman and compare her to all of the sweet bubbly girls around. this will bring down her bitch field.

key points:
emotionally detach yourself completely. watch out the split second you sense she is about initiate the bitch mode and interrupt her before she says anything. dont show any signs of weekness and be cool and confident. catch her off guard by showing approval of her remark, dont compliment. dont get angry at her.

another point to make is that when a woman gives shit to you, show her that you are entertained by her bitchy persona. have in your mind that she is a little girl being praty and you're enjoying it. tell her how much you love it and then she'll realise that being a bitch would not make you go away and that you can handle it, therefore she'll get out of her bitch mode and then you an engage her.

Hope that i have helped. Happy gaming dude

It's hard to take your response seriously when you say, "All of this is rubbish." The reason I provided these perfectly usable and viable means for dealing with rejection, were because many men do react negatively and emotionally when rejected. It's a natural response, but it is not a response that will help us towards the end of maintaining our logical and calm disposition, which is abosolutely necesary for further approaches.

I completely agree with you that we should detach ourself emotionally from rejections. Also you are right in saying that there are many cases in which you should try to "break through her bitch shield."

I assume this is what you meant when you said, "Just because a woman rejects you it does not mean it is a rejection." What you meant was that a percieved rejection may not be rejection necesarily. It only appears as one because you are perhaps overly sensitive, you read the situation wrong, or you read her wrong, etc. So I agree that we need to be wary of not giving up simply because we have percieved rejection at first glance.

But what I was attempting to accomplish by my original post was to address the problem that results when men fail to react properly to actual rejection (i.e. controlling your natural reaction of becoming pissed so to speak. ) Thus I was simply adressing the issue of how to react, if the rejection is in fact imminent and you have reached the conclusion that you are being rejected.

Lastly, it is absurd to argue that we can always blast through any bitch sheild and get every girl all of the time. This is a huge misconception and it needs to be fixed. There are cases, reguardless of you abilities as a PUA, when you will be rejected. These are the sitautions that I am refering to, and how to respond to them, through my examples.

Hopefully that clarifies the intent of the original post : )

-Ben Reed AKA Breednow

www.breednowornever.com

Breednow-or-never (Dating Advice for Smart Men)

_________________
Ben Reed is a life coach and social dynamics expert originating out of Philadelphia, PA.
-He currently is launching his new website in june:
www.Breednowornever.com