You're right guys, you've given me all of the right advice, and now it's my job to man up, and get through this, Usually in life, I'm a very positive person, and it's hard to get me down, but this always has been a brainfuck to me. Oneitis;

I guess what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and wiser, and more mature (I hope).
While I've been rejected many times before I've never actually poured my heart out like that to anyone before.

I feel like a jackass right now tbh.. This girl actually put me down soooo gently. She talked to me for 40 minutes on the phone and kept telling me how theres nothing wrong with me, and how great i am (which is bs I acted like loser) next to her boyfriend I could actually hear him whispering to stop talking to me and stuff. I actually feel bad for her, having to put her in this awkward situation. I don't really care if I feel terrible anymore, I just want this to be over, and still keep her as a friend because she's a great human being overall.

We'll see what happens. Thanks guys

Starting with the past. You fked up by
-thinking about her for 3 weeks and being unproductive. never go all-in.
-calling her back after she says she has a bf. you got balls to call her after she texts you that!
-spilling your guts to her on that call. this is especially bad when you've never been in a relationship with the person.

Remember that you can't undo the fk ups, and the only way you're going to get over her and move on with a clear head is to accept that you fked up and you cannot change that. Accept it.

Present and Future:
Take the advice of pple here and go do something. ANYTHING that will get your mind involved. Also you're going to have moments of weakness where you want to call her. So please delete this girl's number and email from your phone. Give it to a friend if you don't have the courage to permanently erase it yet. Also clear your inbox of her messages. Don't listen to any songs that remind you of her. You're now in detox from yourself. She is not the cause of your p*ssy feelings, you are to blame.

Look at this entire thing from the girl's point of view, she just witnessed a trainwreck that is YOU. Sorry to be so blunt. I've been there too. This is not attractive to a girl, this is sad. She doesn't know you well enough to date you out of pity. Otherwise she'd take every guy who's heart she broke.

I know you're holding out hope she she will pity you, break up with her bf, and date you. As time goes on, you'll stop hoping for this to happen because you've moved on. Deep down you know I'm right. So instead of wallowing in sadness for a year, why not get yourself a head start on enjoying your new life today? When your head is clear at some point down the road, you're going to wonder why did I wait so long to get on with my life? Why did I sit around waiting for a bitch to call me? RIght now you're not calling her a bitch, but when your head will be clear that's how you will remember her. That fking bitch! You cant say this now because you think you love her. I know this because I just went through it. I survived the aftermath and lived to tell the tale. lol.

The only way a girl who turns you down is going to want to be with you after rejecting you is if you hold your head up high, act like rejection is no big deal, and life your life without her in it. While you are doing this, called living your life, you are looking forward. You are not dwelling on the past.

You're looking for answers, you won't find any, just advice.

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I gotta play somebody, might as well be you.

Don't dwell on the past, man. Females can be tricky and evil creatures sometime who seem to take shape of some amazing person. Fact is, this girl is a shitty person and you didn't deserve that. With that being said, you don't want somebody like that in your life. You seem like a good dude with alot to offer, so don't "settle".

I hope you werent serious about the suicide. You may think nobody cares, but I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we all want to see you fight through this.

You need to take control of these emotions you have and realize all the good things you have in your life. You're 19, you have you're whole life ahead of you! Go out and do something great.

Thanks guys. This really helps. Really. I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. I don't really talk about these things with anyone else in my life. I don't trust my friends with that kind of information even if I'd love to talk about it... Thank God for forums like these, or I'd go batshit insane. Don't worry about the suicide comment. I would never commit suicide for something stupid as rejection, even if it does hurt a lot right now. I'm not THAT sad lol

Anyway, I'm starting to look into this experience from a different perspective. Why did I fuck up like that? I thought my game was pretty tight up to that point before screwing it up on purpose.Hell she already texted me that her boyfreind wont let her go I KNEW that if I spilled my guts it would be game over for me. I thought I would reach peace with my oneitis, I thought getting everything off my chest would stop it for sure. It did help in a way. I know that I've disqualified myself for good. I accept that now.

Still a few questions still linger in my mind. This girl always sent mixed signals in the past, last night during the phone convo her excuses were:

"I didn't know you were into me" (I am almost certain she knew... I asked for her number, I told her we we're gonna hang out sometime. I did disqualify myself with a few negs in the past like "too bad you're not my type" I guess. Also we were flirting alot)

"I thought you knew I had boyfriend" (even though she never mentioned him once...)

"I thought we were going out as friends" (I guess that makes sense because I didn't ask her out on a "date" per-say, but asked her to join me if she want's, very nonchalent like I didn't really care much. Maybe that threw her off? Anyway, I think I played this part well.)

"My boyfriend wouldn't let me go out. Usually he does" (What?)

In conclusion I'd like to think that I atleast managed to actually build genuine attraction, and at one point she was actually into me as well. She wasn't going to start saying how she was into me even if she was because her boyfriend was in the same room as her when we had our phone convo.

I guess I will never know for sure, but damn it would be nice to know if I ever had a chance lol

cmdash, you want to know the answers to these questions now because you're emotionally invested in them. But even if she gives you the answers to these questions it wont get rid of your emotion for her, you'd just ask yourself more questions. Once your emotions for this girl go away, you won't care what the answers to these questions are.

_________________
I gotta play somebody, might as well be you.

true...

Anyway, I'll update you guys after I get back from work on Monday. I'll try to act cool, but I wonder how she's going to act. She will probably avoid me, which is fair, but let's wait, and see.

Hopefully if I act like nothing happened she will to, and we can continue communicating at work as friends.

If you were really going to commit suicide, I doubt you'd be posting on an internet PUA forum.

Stop being a needy attention whore and maybe (whatever problem you described in your TLDR post) would work itself out.

_________________
I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.

Check out my lifestyle/PUA blog at www.imperiance.wordpress.com

Oh, the irony...

All of your other posts are trying to convince everyone here how much of an alpha male you are. From your self-contradicting self-help blog to your "internet gaming is for pussies" rant, it is evident after six posts that you are the needy attention whore.

This forum is to help others (and yourself) out, not to maliciously attack others without offering any solutions.

C'mon what'd you expect going after a woman 6 years older with a boyfriend? All you'd get from her is a quick lay and asking her on a date isn't increasing your chances. I will only say this once... GO OUT AND MEET OTHER WOMEN!
It hurts and it sucks, but it's just the need for female affection...the good part though is that every woman can give you that...

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Optimistic?

1.. sorry for your pain.

2... please dont commit suicide

3.. please dont even cry wolf about if,, unless you really mean it (i understand you may have)

4.. you already know what your problem is.... you have "oneitis"

5.. you know the game,, you know the rules... i dont see why you need our advice.

6. you know what you need to do..... break your "one it is".

7.. when you see her at work,,, pretend this never happened,, ignore her

8.. never talk about this stuff agian.... to her... at work.. and so on.

9. you knew the traps,, you fell right into it.. (assuming you knew the game at the time)

10. you knew this girl was a high flake risk... were you really suprissed when she cancled on you,, and metioned her boyfriend?... i was not, when you got to that point in your story...

11.. come on dude,,, this is an easy one..... you did a good job at first,, you meesed up,, now its over,,,, but you learned some good leasons,,, now its time to move to the next girl.

12. try to get over these clingy tendencys.... focus your energy on a new girl.... since you have so much of it,, focus on 3 new girls.. so you wont be clingy with any of them.

Ok guys I really need help right now. I don't why, but I always seem to do better at pick up when I don't even care anymore...

Here's what happened today at work:

We met. We talked, It wasn't that awkward at all, she was really sweet I didn't bring anything up. Actually what happened I somehow managed to ask her out for a drink after work to talk and stuff, and she said yes (woah wtf )

Anyway, after work we go into this bar, and I did fuck up plenty of times, because I wasn't prepared for this, and acted a bit AFC. We drank some orange juice talked, I tried my best to DHV myself, and tell her how I felt bad for acting so childish when I called her. I tried to disqualify myself with talk, like "we could never make this work, were to similiar... bla bla"
I could tell she felt relieved.I told her that I still feel attraction towards her, I can't switch it off like a switch.

I then thought about asking her about her relationship with her boyfriend. I used a boyfriend destroyer for this one. "So how does it actually feel to be in a perfect relationship?",
she started saying how it's not that perfect all, bla bla, and it's not that serious, apparently they've only been together for 4 months, and they don't live together. She said she doesn't believe in perfect relationships, and she doesn't believe in love. lol

I was a bit lost, but I tried to keep my game as tight as I could, though as you could tell, I had to start from scratch cause I fucked up so bad before this.

I tried some kino tests on her, I did a kino compliance test on her. She gave me her hands palms up (thats not good right?), and basically she didn't move her hands with mine, so yeah she failed that one, but she got a bit more comfortable when I tried it again with some added humor and patter. She actually held my hands, and squeezed a little (which is an improvement)

Anyway we joked around, had some fun talked for like an hour, and I ended it there. She actually offered to pay for me. It was her treat.
Basically I've fallen into the LJBF zone which is not bad at this point I still got some kino going etc...

I kinda asked her if she want's to meet again later, and she said yeah I'd love to meet me again like this (she meant she wants to meet as friends, which is fair at this point I guess)

I told her that I'm gonna feel bad because she payed for my drink, and I'll feel like I own . She told me that's how she wan't me to feel jokingly lol

Anyway, I could tell that she feel a bit awkward, like she's torn or something I dunno. Tbh she want's to be friends or whatever I'm not sure. When we walked out I gave her a hug, and walked away (yes the hug felt awkward even for me, but I felt like I wanted to pass this kino barrier if it does somehow work out you know? I don't know if she took it too well tbh) I did get some IOI's, but it's REALLY hard to read this girl. Maybe it's the fact that she's in a relationship, and feels like she can't move forward.

DId I play this right what should I do now? I know I can ask her to hang out with me again? I'm just not sure if I can get out of this LJBF zone (or even if I should bother at this point).

Still an interesting experience. I feel like I'm gonna hurt myself again, but it's so addicting...

Hey man,

I actually know what you are going through, I had it a few months ago. You need to realise that actually if this is going on, you cannot let it affect your thinking. She has a boyfriend mate, that means she is true to him. A lot of girlfriends are - atleast within the 6 month period of the relationship (this is the most affectionate period 70% of the times in a relationship.) She will not leave you for him, so it wouldn't be good to invest a lot of time in her.

Keep it casual, and whatever you do - do not, I repeat, DO NOT, let this girl get to you. It's not worth it. I mean she is a human being and if you like her, you do. But it's worth it to lose yourself for her. Come on man, you're a great guy - why get lost because she isn't responcive to recognise your awesomeness?

≠ LD

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I wish she could just say no to me. I really do. I don't think I have closure with this one yet, and it feels so bad. She might be too nice. I never had this happen to me before, I'm used to a girl actually telling me "no", or at least ignoring me to the point where I just don't bother. Even if she doesn't like me at all, she's very responsive... keeps throwing me off... gaaaarrgh

I feel like I'm letting you guys down, by still trying to persue her lol So many good suggestions which won't register with my thick head...

Looks like this story is just gettin started. Bookmarked!

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I gotta play somebody, might as well be you.