Okay, so I am litteraly cell schocked. I REALLY need someone to talk to right now, about this because I feel sooo bad... Never felt so awkward in my life...

Alright there's this chick at work she's 25, I'm 19. I ran a little game on her, etc...She was allways sending me mixed signals, I couldn't read her. Basically I had/have this massive one'itis for her. Like MASSIVE ONEITIS. Last week I got her number. Sent her a text telling her to come join me to hang out. She responded with a "Sorry I already have plans". I called her she didn't respond.
I met her at work after a few days (we were working together that day) and since I assumed she wasn't interested in me I kinda called her out on it when we talked. It went something like this:

:random convo, etccccc....
ME: Hey, I called you how come you didn't pick up?
HER: Oh, you called? I wasn't available I guess. What did you want?
ME: Oh, to go hang out you know.
Her: Oh
ME: Hey, you can make it up to me how about going to that movie you were talking about all day?
HER: Yeah, sure, when?
:talking about arrangements:
ME: Sunday 2pm
HER: That sounds great.

(Keep in mind, I could tell that she felt nervous and a bit awkward talking to me. But I thought what the hey the worst that can happen she will flake on me, and at that time in my life I was kinda "Over" the infatuation and didnt really care. I was actually suprised she said "yes")

We didn't really get to talk after that...
Anyway, I'm all excited today getting ready, and stuff, then I see a text:

HER: Hey, sorry, but I can't go to the movies tomorrow. My boyfriend doesn't want me to go. Don't be mad at me, please.

I'm like WTF boyfriend? Ok, I have to sort this shit out. My infatuation was getting the better of me. Basically I couldn't function properly, I was thinking about this girl 24/7, and I didn't do anything productive for the last 3 weeks, cause I just couldn't. Everyday felt like pain while I waited, and tried to play everything cool, by trying not to be needy patient etc... Basically having a higher value mindset, but it was killing me - physically, and mentally. Like really bad.

So I called her up, and started talking to her. There was an air of awkwardness in the air already as soon as she picked up the phone.

Let me run down the convo real quick:

As soon as I started talking to her I could hear a guy coughing intentionally (I'm not that stupid) he was there the whole time. Basically she thought we we're going out as friends (yeah right) and she said usually her boyfriend allows this kind of behaviour, but not this time, and she doesn't want to fight over it with him. And she apologized to me. She asked me if I assumed something more out of this thing, and then it happened, basically I let go all of my feelings for her, I said everthying. EVERYTHING. About how I should not be doing this, but I like her more than a friend, I have real feelings for her etc..

She kept apologizing saying she's feeling really bad, and she thought I knew she had a boyfriend since everyone at work knows that. I didn't get the memo apparently.

She kept telling me how I'm a sweet, attractive, guy with a great personality, but she has a boyfriend bla bla bla. While I was AFC'ing my never ending love for her, in a calm way I might add, I kept it together talking in a real calm manner as to not make her feel even worse about herself.

She's a really nice person though, she talked to me for 40 minutes, and she actually HAD "THE BALLS" to do that. She could have never picked up the phone at all, but she did... and her boyfriend was probably listening to our convo as well. I could feel it.

I ended the convo with a question, if she ever was attracted to me, physically or otherwise... She kept saying since she wasn't even in that mindset as she has "someone" already. She said, that I am a little to late, and she would have gone out with me if she wasn't commited, or when she doesn't have a boyfriend "she'll give me a chance" or w/e

she also said "I thought you weren't interested in me since you said "im not really your type" (she still remembers that neg lol)

It ended in sort of "let's not talk about this anymore, I really feel bad, and I have to think things through,I'm sorry If I caused you pain, see you at work on monday, and let's try to stay friends alright? You're really confident, and you have the right to stay confident, because that's why people are drawn to you. You're really special, and please don't ever change the way you are"
I was all like "You're a really nice person. I just want you to be happy, it doesn't matter if it's me making you happy, or me he's a lucky guy, bye"

That's only like 5% of the convo which lasted 40 minutes.
I am sorry it's very poorly written all over the place, but to be fair english is not my native language, and I really feel fucked in the head right now.
I know this was really immature of me, and I did this thing to overcome my infatuation with her. I thought if I spilled the beans about my feeling she'll basically write me off forever and I could get over her. It did help, but I feel bad for acting like such a pathetic piece of pussy shit...

I need some word's. Some help. Yes, I am needy, and AFC, pathetic, all of that, but I feel really bad right now, and I have noone to talk to.
Please tell me something insightful. I poured my heart out... twice now.

What should I do now? How should I act when we see each other at work? How will he persioption of me change now that she know's that I'm really intersted in her? stuff like that would help from you guys with experience.
What will she do with all of this information I've given her?

I feel this massive respect that she actually talked about this with me, and didn't just ignore me which is waaaaay easier. I could tell that she genuilely felt bad for causing me pain...
This experience made me think, that maybe I really am not that mature after all. I'm just a child. A sad child... A joke.

(I'm not actually commiting suicide over this just to keep things clear, but I WILL get drunk as heel tonght, so maybe I can forget this ever happened)

On the upside, at least I still have my dignity. Oh wait.....

Thank You

when you get to work, you act like this never happened.
simple as that. you have to act like this didn't affect you,
even if it did.

and in the meantime, look up ways to get over your oneitis.

I honestly don't think you did all that bad Broham, Even tho you poured you heart out I would just act as nothing happened, and go on with life, she is just a bitch. No need to get all fucked in the head over a bitch.

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Dont Light The Dynamite, Then Get Mad At The EXPLOSION.....what did you expect?

What happens if I don't, because I'm not sure if I will be able to?...
thanks man, I feel like I fucked up big time though

I'm like the oneitis king. Bonus points for it being an older woman too, I know all about that.

She will be different around you. That's unavoidable. She may be really quiet around you. She may seem more concerned and sensitive than usual. She will certainly be more cautious around you. Actions she would normally do will now be prefaced in her mind with "Could this be interpreted as flirting?" You will definitely notice that self censorship.

So how do you act? Well obviously regardless of how you feel, you can't act as if you are still hung up on her. This will just continue to make her uncomfortable and create a toxic work environment. The only thing to bring things back to normal is to let time pass. Really study pick up. Apply it. Go out into the field. Get numbers. You hear this all the time, I do too and I hate it, but there really are more fish in the sea. Meet these fish. This girl can stay on your mind and in your life, but that one prospect gets pushed back further and further when more start coming in. Most importantly, let her know about it. You don't have to sound over the top like you are intentionally trying to create jealousy, because really you're not. You're just showing her that you are desirable to other women and you are used to getting women. If you ask her about her plans for the weekend and she tells them, she may be expecting you to invite her somewhere. Instead you say, "That's cool. I'm taking a date to that new coffee shop downtown. I'll let you know if it's any good."

A girl who LJBF me recently came back into my life. I'm treading water emotionally, but one thing is for sure, until she wants to commit to a serious relationship, I am not going to sit aside and let other opportunities pass me by.

So what we all fucked up many times, I know it hurts (I've been there) but the best thing for you right now is to forget it, I know it's gonna be though, because you get to see her everyday, but eventually you'll get over it, you can speed this process also by trying to get in to a relationship with another girl, try new things...

At work just act casual as you do with other co-workers, BUT many guys make a mistake like that, when they try to fuck their co-worker/neighbour/friend/someone they see every day and then they are super rude to that person, don't do that, just be normally friendly

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Wow. Thanks, I know what you mean. It's like I know the advice" Go out sarge, fuck girls, you will forget her" etc... but still I don't want to believe it even if it's true.

I like the pain... I like it? How does that make sense? I enjoy investing massive amounts of emotion into somoene, and not get anything in return? Logic is not working for me at the moment.
It's backwards ass thinking at it's best, and I hate myself for it. I guess it's pretty early, the convo has been like 3 hours ago.

You know what the sad thing is though? I kinda hope that that my "confession" will flip the attraction switch (if she actually wasn't aware I was attracted,( but COMMON I ASKED HER OUT, ASKED FOR HER NUMBER ETC), and she will come running for me, leaving her boyfriend and all that.
oh boy, I can tell, I am going to get fucked in the ass by women all my life if I keep this kind of selective mentality ...

Red Rider put the penis in the vagina on that one! DAMN if I ever get the Itis ill keep that in mind.

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Dont Light The Dynamite, Then Get Mad At The EXPLOSION.....what did you expect?

You need to get off this forum for a while and recharge yourself. Take a drive, go for a walk, get fucked up, but dont come back on this forum tonight. For that matter, do anything you can to get her off your mind. You almost just got off the phone with her tonight so you're mind will be jumping all over that place, you're pretty much no good right now.

In order to come to a rational and logical decision to this, you need time to yourself. Dont have a "game plan" for when you see her next or criticize how you're gonna act around her. Devote your energy into getting over her as soon as possible.

And this is why there's such a stigma about people trying to date within their jobs. Life is shitty enough, you just made it like 1000x harder because now you dread going to work (Even moreso)

I'm gonna be the realist here and tell you, that is almost definitely NOT going to happen.


By calling her obsessively and getting all emotional and spilling the beans in front of her bf, you basically just made yourself look like a huge clingy loser(no offense, but look at it from a non biased viewpoint....you majorly messed up)


I'd forget about this girl, and its not a good idea to go after girls with bfs. Wouldn't you be pissed if some kid was trying to steal your girl? I'd crack your head open lol.

She went through all sort of troubles to make excuse to NOT HANGING OUT with you, and you know it yourself. ENOUGH SAID, MOVE ON.
DON'T EVEN DREAM ABOUT BEING FRIENDS with her. She's doing EVERYTHING she can to avoid you.
The best medicine for oneitis is go fuck other girls, you have to LEARN how to LET GO. That's all we can do for you, we PROVIDE advice, methods, steps that you need to do to get over it. But the key important is still yourself. If you DON"T wanna TAKE A STEP FORWARD, no one can do that for you.
PS: Never confront a girl why she didnt return your call, you will just fell down the ladder and appear as a clingy needy pathetic AFC to her right at that moment.

^ He's one thousand percent correct! This is NOT going to happening! Forget About it!!!!

And pick yourself the fuck UP! Wtf is wrong with you bro. Its just One Bitch! You don't even know her so how the fuck could you feel anyway about her!!? Your mind fucking the shit out of yourself. How can you have feeelings for a girl you DON'T EVEN KNOW! She isn't that special! What's so speciial about her please tell me! The only thing you know about her is she's got(if she even is)! And excuse the cursing but I'm just angry that your could even let this happen to you. There are 4 billion women in the world which meanings if you screw up 1000 women a day(not possible) for the next 10 years you still wouldn't have spoken 95 percent of the women around. One day your gonna come back and read this and laugh ar your self I promise. I know its eaiser said than done, I've had oneitis before but that was from I girl I was actually fucking for 6 months. Grow bro and do it fast. Remember your only 19 you have years of hoe plowing to do

I suggest apologizing to her when you see her; because you just made work really uncomfterable for the both of you. Tell her "listen im Sorry, I was being stupid. I know this makes things akward for us now but just know I'm over it and we can be cool. Either way its okay. Cya around(smile)". That'll take the wieght off the situation,

Anyways good luck. Remember" its just a bitch"

is this one-itis plague contagious? if so, i'm staying inside my apartment for a week! no exceptions...

what the hell

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"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)