YOU:
You'll be honest? ---- what you havent been so far??? Should put her off guard.

YOU:
I'm giving you a chance because you're somewhat attractive in your two pictures and because you have some nerdiness that's easy for me to relate to.


You're giving her a chance??? Where is the laughter? This is not a neg. This is an insult. A neg is one part compliment and one part playful humor that sorta seems like an insult, but really isn't...

That was an insult... If she isn't attractive, why are you talking to her? You are actually insulting yourself here...

You then decide to dig a deeper hole...

YOU: I also like the fact that you are an INFJ and that you have been to 11 countries, this also gives you positive points. However your profile says your still a child and you say awkward/naive things. So I'm a little undecided here.....


Where is the positive charm in this statement?? You say she has traveled, she is a child, awkward, naive and you are undecided....

hehehe


HEY BROTHER. I have done this so many times, so don't worry. But at this point, none of these are negs. None of them build chemistry. Would you want to date someone who talked to you like that ?

Think about it from her perspective. She doesn't want to be insulted. She wants to be played with. So each comment has to have its equal parts.

It has to have one half compliment (ALWAYS) and one part PLAY (could be a friendly jab, that we know is not true... but makes her feel she has a fun challenge ahead of her or something mysterious!)

At this point, it was just all insults. So this is where I see you going wrong, and like I said, don't worry ... I have blown the most beautiful moments and regretted every one, but just make sure you learn something from it. Right?

NOW YOU GO ON TO SAY...
I'll go against my better judgement and say lets pass up the games and skip to the fun part, we should meet up sometime Smile Are you too shy for lunch/dinner? my number is............


You express your hesitation, tell her you don't want to build any playful games and you want to have sex (skip the fun part and get in to bed) this is how she is taking it. Just look at it from her perspective...

What I would have said at this point was this.... you need to build MYSTERY or excitement. So you may have wanted to say something like this....


YOU HAD THE ASIAN CARD... you had the traveling card and you have all of the wealth of the mystery method, with all the pick up lines and games..

I would have broken out the cube game... something about travel or what she is good at, or along with the Asian card.

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Wow I have to admit, I had the biggest crush on this girl in university, who was majoring in international studies. I can't even talk to you now !!

You seem like a lot fun! Have you ever played the cube game?

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This is filled with mystery. You would not use the cube game unless you meet in person, or you may have to whip it out over the phone, to now get to meet her in person because you have dug such a deep hole... This one is tricky to wade through at this point...

If she says... WHATS THE CUBE GAME?

Then ask her if she believes in ESP and you have a way of proving its true and by the end, you will know EVERYTHING about her. But then you tell her, you can only do it on the phone or in person.

Here is the cube game (get good at this one boys. ITS GOLD and is very true... sorta scary but very powerful)

CANNOT POST URLS YET ... so find this on your own

I would prefer to work the cube in person .. this is a perfect first date game.. and can be crazy fun for her and also lets you know how fucked up she is lol and if you should actually run away!

===========================================
OR you could have tried this...
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Wow I have to admit, I had the biggest crush on this girl in university, who was majoring in international studies. I can't even talk to you now !!


HONG CHOW LING DA DA DING PLING PUT AM?

ha ha ha

Cya around!


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(I would have taken the time to find out how to ask her out on a date in japanese and if she is lucky, you will teach her more) sorry lol that wasn't japanese above. If I couldnt find out how to ask her out on a date in japanese, I would have made it up, but more believable words.' If she asks what it is, you tell her, you can only tell her in person. If she doesn't ask you can try to work the cube in.



Then she sends you her offended email.

At this point, cut your losses. No apologies, no excuses. We must resist the urge to DLV. Trust me, we all are hard wired I think to do this. But resist.

Go back to how hot you are, how many women there are that are hot and waiting for you to take them out... this chick is no one special....

even though she is lol...

but don't think it. Dont even let that thought live...

but you do.......

YOU:
Me: "Sorry, I didn't mean to come off like that. It was meant to be a playful (pulling your leg) kind of thing. I'm totally new at this and I guess I suck at writing letters Sad I'm much better in person or on the phone. I was reading the okcupid forums and a lot of threads said men get better results if your more challenging and playful. But I guess that can come off as arrogant. Thanks for your tip. Smile"
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so basically you told her, you were playing her. Do you think she will trust you after this point? I know I wouldn't.

Now if you were HBD 8, would you respond to this?

So in closing... just remember this as a good lesson. I can't tell you how many times I have learned this lesson and thought, wow, I just insulted almost the most beautiful girl in the world and lost a great chance. But don't look at it like that.

Just move on to brighter things. Focus on the good plays you make, not the bad ones you miss. And enjoy the whole dating process. Don't get cynical. You are trying to become a master pick up artist, or at least, get a lot of hot women and really build a fun life !! lol

Think of the future hotties you're going to be with if you can make this work!

Have fun guys.. i may be around this forum a bit.

Cheers.

ALL Good advice there shockwave.

Love the 'HONG CHOW LING DA DA DING PLING PUT AM?' That's genius!

Not sure about the little bit before though?

'have to admit, I had the biggest crush on this girl in university, who was majoring in international studies. I can't even talk to you now !! Smile'

I usually get burned whenever I mention other women I had a crush on or find attractive even if it is said as playfully as you wrote it. And if its not said playfully you BET YOU'RE ASS you're gonna get burned! lol

whats up man I deal with the same crap on POF.I know what your talking about.Woman dont want to seem to easy so just like in the real world soon as you drop the string the cat walks away (cat theory). its internet game to make it seem like there not to easy.I had the same situation with this girl on POF I was writting her and I gave her my number so she could text me,after that I didnt here from her at all for a couple of weeks.I just got a message back from her yesterday and she was saying"hi how have you been".Just give it some time dont write her and see if she writes back.Thats what I did and it worked.
Good luck.

Wow thanks Shockwave for all that. I didn't respond or say anything else after that last "I'm sorry" message I sent. It's been a few weeks so she's history. Oh well, good thing about these sites is that there's always the next girl. I guess I have trouble with negs online. In person it's easy for them to tell your playing but online it can come across as insulting.

I've tried subtle negs, I've tried blatant ones. I've never once got a girl to respond to me online by using a neg. Not one time. Never use them in real life either, though I do tease. Negs are grossly overrated in my experience.

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31 and still figuring it out.

Amen to that Minsok.