| My PU game is far from perfected, but I've mastered the relationship game. Before I delve in further, however, let me clarify linguistics. When talking about "PU" and "game", I will be referring to natural game, the social dynamics aspect, and such--not routines, canned material, and all that shit. In essence not the gimmicks but the underlying stuff you learn, or learn to fake by means of employing the gimmicks. I am also assuming you are talking about a traditional, exclusive LTR.
Most fundamentally, a healthy relationship works only if you're happy and content with and by yourself. Like in PU, you cannot need that other person to fill you out. Otherwise, you become clingy (or needy), neglect other aspects of your life; aspects that led her to enter a relationship with you in the first place.
Since you must be fine without her, it follows that you must have solid inner game. Without, you can't develop trust, which will lead to petty arguments and break you up or make you unhappy in your relationship. If you have the requisite confidence--"I rock her world each and every day"--you will also not make the mistake of making assumptions. Making assumptions is another fatal sin in relationships. She may flirt with other guys, go out and get shitfaced while you're at work, dish you stories that don't seem to add up. Don't assume things. Instead, be aware that you leave nothing to be desired and that you need her to retain some independence as well. You'll find, there are benign explanations each time. But so much for the foundation.
Employing PU techniques are essential in the beginning. Making her wait, keeping her guessing, always being in charge are things that will stoke her interest. But there comes a pivot point, when your relationship tips from game playing to partnership. Ease into it, but from then on the dynamic should change. She needs to know that she is it for you, that you adore her, think of her, blah blah blah. While I may catch flack for this, think of all the romanticized TV shit. Tell her how much she means to you, give her flowers, surprise her with a picnic, make breakfast in bed, make sacrifices for her (small gestures will be enough). You will be the boyfriend she brags about to everyone she knows, her girl friends will be jealous, and when you hit a rough patch, her friends will tell her to get through it since you're a winner. At this point, it's important to keep in mind what I laid out as the fundamentals. Yes, there are contradictions, but it's a balancing act.
Next, remember that she's not perfect. She will make mistakes. Maybe throw a petty bitchfit. Be forgiving, you're better than that and can swallow your pride. Once she's thinking clearly again, she will appreciate it and value you even more, since you can forgive her flaws. This is an instance where you shouldn't freeze her out, or punish her for it. It's not a fight for power, it's not about playing games, a relationship is a cooperative project. Even if you fight and she tells you to piss off, it's never a good idea to freeze out. If you do, she's left with negative feelings to dwell on, wondering all the while why on earth you aren't making an effort to fix it.
In sum, be truly confident, keep your cool, and be upfront and honest. PU can help you get her, unless it's a gimmick-based game. But to keep her, you have to change a bit.
As for "the one," I think it's a necessary fiction. You have to believe in it during the course of the relationship. But from an outside perspective, there are thousands of girls who can make you feel that--or really just one, who you will never meet. But that relates to your other question. What I describe above only works on girls who are like that themselves. My method may not work with girls who lack self-esteem, are emotionally immature, or have not developed a strong enough personality. But if you're looking of "the one" to settle on, why settle for anything sub-par? In the meantime, keep playing the game until you come across one that can match you.
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CHAT
