so, its almost 2am, and im sitting here typing away on the MPUA forum.... and im thinking to myself, MPUA means Master Pick Up Artist. but, after my performance tonight, im kinda second guessing if i should be here or not. im thinking, maybe im not even ready for this.

let me fill you in on how i succumbed to AFC-itis yet again... and i think, i may have even hit BAFC levels.

so, i decided to hit up a local pub for karaoke night that a good friend of mine hosts. figured id support his night. i got myself all dizzied up in a nice pair of shoes, nice jeans, a black T and a white "tapout" hoodie (my style is all tapout/MMA) i looked good, smelled good. i thought, okay, heres my A-game. lets go do this!..... and thats about where it ended

so, i get there and say hi to my friend shoot the shit for a sec, ditch my jacket and grab a pint. so, im chillin with him, talking and the place is PACKED!!! a totally target rich enviroment! alot of HB5 all the way to HB9.5 (i RARELY give a 10) all over the place. alot of the are drunkereds, and their NUTZ! im not really into those kinda chix, who you KNOW a year or more of this, and they will be burned out, and used up. so, im kinda selective. anyways, so, his group of regulars who sit right next to him are alot of AFC's and girls who are like a 3 and less... except for this one HB7, whos not bad. a TINY lil blonde. anyways, i dont know them, didnt say anything to them, even tho i caught HB7 in a longer then average eyecontact, and a smile. but, here comes AFC-itis.... i didnt say boo... not even a word to her. (i know, im lame)

and it gets worse, there was this readhead. a solid HB9 standing alone, in the corner, txting. she was alone all night, even walked around a bit. and at no point, did i approach or anything. yeah, also lame, i know. but at least, i should have said something to HB7 coz A) she was right there, and B) she knows my friend the host.


yeah, i dropped the ball, not once... but twice. well, twice that i know of... who know, i may have dropped it a dozen times tonight.

You seem to be fishing for some kind of response, so here's mine. You don't like this bar environment. Hey, welcome to the world of most adults over a certain age! That doesn't make it impossible to succeed in such a place, but it does mean you'd rather be somewhere else, communicating on other terms, with a larger proportion of higher quality clientele. Find other venues.

Lately I've been focusing on art events. If I do go to a bar, I bring my sketchbook so that I don't have to participate in the goings-on in the standard way. Just ordered new 'serious' pencils and sketchbook tonight in fact. I've got some art supplies presently, but they're of a lower quality, which in turn creates frustration when I use them, which interferes with any game I may be trying to run at the same time. Nothing like sitting there thinking "fucking oil pastels, fucking loudmouthed jock assholes...." No offense, I'd get along with MMA jocks just fine. But guys who think they've gotta talk at volume Eleven to have a good time nearly bring me to open laughter, and silent weeping. I decided if it really bugs me I can just use it, I can "draw the noise."

You think a lot.
Sometimes it is okay just to go say "Hi" to someone, and listen to them, and see where the conversation goes! You seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on results, and worrying a lot about whether you will succeed or fail. Once you realize that nothing permanently bad ever comes of starting a conversation with someone, even if you do get blown out, you'll see it is no problem. It can only affect you if somehow you derive your value from your ability to pick up chicks. But you have to start some conversations before you come to know this, so stop beating yourself up! For now, just start conversations. Make eye contact. Smile. Baby steps. You'll get there.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

thank you both! i really appreciate the pat on the back.

Wal: your right, i was focusing so much on the end result i wasnt even thinking about just saying hi. i so worried about what might be said, that i didnt even say anything. i wont make that mistake again.

BV: ya know, i wasnt fishing per say... i was more venting i suppose. i was so upset with myself. there were two points tonight i could have made some kinda move, yet all i did was chill with my friend, and drink. ALSO: no offence taken, im not the typical MMA jock speak softly, carry a big right hand i always say!

again, thanks guys!

So you're saying I guessed wrong about not liking bars so much? In that case... realize that hanging out with your buds is a comfort zone. Very easy for those buds not to do anything, not to approach anything, and to talk each other into staying put and not do anything. When it's time to sarge, you have to ditch them. Don't stay in your comfort zone, go sarge. Just stand up and say "I gotta go hit on the ladies now." Otherwise you'll sit there drinking with them for 2 hours and nothing will happen.

yeah, i do kinda like bars. but your right i should have gotten up and just did it.

however, theres no one to sarge with that i know!

This is what happens when reality meets fairytale.

Seems like you built yourself up to be a romanticised notion of a PUA, had a minor slip, this conflicted with the fantasy and "ouch, guess I wasn't what I thought I was"

Just pay attention to yourself and try and keep your in head chatter genuine and this sort of stuff should be less and less frequent.

solid!


thanks

Happens to the best of us man. You can try conditioning yourself for rejection by going out and purposely get blown out. "Hey... Nice tits! Are you free tonight?" You should burn sets to the ground. Once you are conditioned, you will realize that rejection isn't shit. Then, shoot for some successful approaches. After a few successful approaches, you might even be able to reach social god mode.

lmfao.... social god mode!

i love it!

however.... im so far from that, isnt even funny.

I don't personally believe in sarging with anyone else. Combo of having done it by myself all my life, usually having lame friends who weren't a value add, plus the Seduction Dating list was rather prejudiced against using a wingman as a crutch. Their opinion was you shouldn't be using a wingman unless you know how to sarge by yourself already. Now, maybe in a PUA Lair you'll learn differently. I've never done that so I wouldn't know. But I definitely think, hanging out with your standard knucklehead AFC friends is a complete waste of time. They will have their own learning curve, and it could be gutless and sloooooooow compared to your own. Ditch them and get on with the job. Don't get stuck in the AFC comfort zone of your buddies.

Oddly, a woman that you really are "just friends" with might be useful for going out on the town. I had a friend like that in Seattle once, until she moved out of state. We always made it a point to split up, so that nobody would think we were "taken." I didn't know anything about PUA back then. I wonder how I'd utilize such a woman friend in the present day? Er, the other problem is how would I make such a friend. Single, wants to go out on the hunt, sufficiently attractive, yet for some reason I don't want her. Probably the best candidate would be someone reasonably good looking but "too skinny for me." Also a bit of "incompatible baggage." I can put up with a lot more in a friend than I can in an relationship.

I do this with a lesbian friend.

_________________


"Their compliance is,
'Does she grab your hand?' F*ck you! I want to grab her mind. If I can
grab her mind, she'll be grabbing whatever I want, any way I want her to." - Ross Jeffries

manipulators...

@ Viktor

When you have doubts like this(happens to me when I see a girl with a possible bf and unwillingness to get my ass beat down and willingness to approach conflict) Then you notice something unusual, interesting, basically situational opener, make a rough draft of couple of topics in your head your gonna be talking about and just go and say it, its like switching your mind off)or letting it get as much AA as possible) and still going there. AA ill go away immediately.

Situational openers are my favourites btw.

EXCELLENT advice. The hilarious purposeful blowout is actually so fun and so powerful for reducing AA we teach it as part of all our courses.

Also, from your perspective, you were thinking "omg there were a couple of HBs and I DIDN'T APPROACH! I failed!" Well, from everyone else's perspective, you just hung out at a bar. Nothing bad happened. You didn't do anything "wrong." You don't HAVE to be an approach monkey and do EVERY set in order to be an "mPUA." It's ok to have a day where you just see some friends, have a drink and relax. It doesn't mean you've "regressed."

Just make sure that NEXT time, if you do actually see a girl you're interested in talking to, and you do have the time and the opportunity to approach, DO SO.

The best mentality to have when approaching at night "I'm out being social and meeting people"

The best opener that's simple and congruent with the above mentality "Hi! Are you guys fun?"

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com

I usually don't do night game, so whenever I go to club I'm actually having fun.I like dancing so I dance. I see girls bored and having bunch of chodes who are dancing in the circle around them, I cut through and take girls away from them.(and dance with almost every attractive girl in the club) ecause I WANT TO. and I'm here to have fun...as a result I end up with bunch of girls asking me to join them,and two numbers from a different girls, who approached me themselves. ( I didn't even have an intent to n-close anybody)-the key is HAVE FUN. Girls want to be around fun guys.