So here's the deal: we've been together for a good few of months now, and it's been lovely in most ways; she's incredibly pretty (HB8.5 if you really must know...) smart, funny...basically, wife material if you were to go that far haha. I utterly adore her. We hang out all the time and the conversation flows and stuff- we're always cuddling (like constantly- she'll just hug me for no reason!!) and she doesn't hesitate to hold my hand in public etc.
But the problem is, WHENEVER it comes to kissing and beyond...yeah, she totally freaks. We're both 18 and I'm her first bf. We've tried it on several occasions, and she just freezes up and looks completely terrified. It's like kissing a statue. As for sex and anything else, she looks physically nauseous at the mere mention of it. It's so weird- she's not hyperly religious or anything, and I know she's attracted to me...what do I do???? She's so perfect in every way and I could never leave her.

Oh and btw, I've tried 'getting her comfortable', and she's fine with gentle stroking, but the moment it gets remotely sexual she freezes up. I did that before kissing her once, and her eyes started to well up. When I asked her why, she just shook her head and said 'I don't know, it's just frightening', and she couldn't explain why

is she a virgin? if the answer is yes, you are playing the waiting game.

If you are not exaggerating her response to sexual stuff, I'd wonder a bit about some kind of past trauma.

i agree completly, remember for a woman, the first time isnt like it is for a man. if not handled properly, it can be somewhat traumatic for a woman. in short, for her, this is a BIG deal. if shes a virgin, then, just wait it out, and take your time with everything! it will be worth it!

but, as above... if shes NOT, and shes been there/done that... then there may be something underlying here.


good luck brothahomie.

yeah.

and fwiw, one of my long-term girlfriends was kinda religious and was a virgin at 26. I was her first. I think she waited about 2.5 months of making out and getting 'mad' at me for pawing at her. Then showed up one afternoon in makeup ready to rock.

So my point, to follow on to Viktor's statement about how big a deal it is to them... I did nothing the day after the 'event'. She was furious with me, cried, and asked why I didn't get her flowers and take her out to dinner after something so major. so um...yeah.

Oh yeah, she's a virgin alright.

myself, i have never been with a virgin, so i dont know from first hand accounts. however, i have seen friends deal with it. its not pleasant, i assure you. for a guy, your a virgin, awesome... go, tap an ass, and BAM! your no longer a virgin. but, for a woman, even if your gentle and easy with her, that first time, is physically traumatic on a woman. not to mention the psychological experience, the emotional experience etc.

heres something i learned from my observation. when a man is banging you, the man is banging you... thas all they think about, thas what they concentrate on. btu, when a woman is being banged ESPECIALLY when its their first time. the woman will ask herself questions. do i really like him? does he really like me? is this supposed to hurt? is this right? blah blah blah. it can be something that really scrambells their eggs (pun intended)

so, be mindful of that, my young padawan. the whole situation, may be something YOU are not ready for. but, if it goes all the way! take care of her, coz she will need it.