On a date with this girl; bar is moderately crowded. We have our own table. There are 2 empty tables on either side of us.

This guy comes in alone and sits at the table behind me. He's messing around on his blackberry.

We are ready to go, so I go to the restroom. When I come out I see dude talking to my date from his table about 15 ft away.

I walk straight up next to my girl but say what's up to the guy and we then introduce each other. It seemed pretty cordial.

I then lead her out of there.

I've always sucked at handling situations like this, so let me know what you think.

Actually, this is pretty much also how I handle people who are hitting on my girl, I socialize for a while with them both and if I see that he's still pretty much hitting on her (most guys usually backs off though), I take her somewhere else instead, leaving him behind.

I think you handled the situation just right. You didn't act like a pussy and let him AMOG you, you also didn't go overboard and act aggressive.

You DHVed yourself to the HB by showing that you have the confidence to carry the situation, you weren't uncomfortable by the presence of the AMOG which showed that you are used to guys hitting on the girls you are with (in turn it shows that you hang with girls who are hot enough for other guys to desire). You were the alpha male in the situation, well done bro!

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You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Sounds good to me. Well played.

Thanks for the insights guys. Finally putting some techniques I read into play. First time in my life I ever handled such a situation as described. Felt good.

Rak I actually had not even considered all the angles you mentioned - thanks.

i would agree with my esteemed collegues.

you sir, owned it!

You can't really do any better than that, hats off to you!

curiousity is getting the best of me.


what happened, after you guys left?

Viktor - haha. Yeah, things worked out well in a sense, but there's some trouble brewing. Might have fucked it up.

After that, we went back to my place, and made out for hours. I'm a fucking idiot and let it go on forever. Got her naked, had her moaning and shit, but she told me about boundaries and how she wouldn't go any further that night. Should have backed off then.

We have spoken since then, and agreed to another date, but I sense my awesome frame with her has been damaged, and I'm not sure how to recover now. If i can hijack my own thread...any thoughts?

hmmm.... well, what were the boundries she laid out for you?

oh. it was very simple. that she was trying to be a good girl and not go too fast that night. that was all.

Sounds like her boundaries consist of no fucking, one I get a good bit. My advice, accept her boundaries and tell her she's not getting any that night. Keep doing whatever else seems fun to you. When she wants to remove her own boundaries, remind her that you promised not to fuck her. Then either of two things will happen: A) She'll work extra hard to get her lay, or B) she'll respect your deference and be all the more inclined to let you stick her next time.

If you are in camp B), good for you. You didn't "damage your frame" in any way, rather you showed her that you're not some borderline rapist. Go on your next date, play it cool as if nothing had happened. If you want, you can feel her out about her beliefs on dating/sex/etc. Do this early on.

If you meant something else by damaging your frame, I clearly misunderstood the question.

solid analysis. thanks Keksman. Nah - you understood my frame question spot on. We are setting up next date thru email now. In my mind I was thinking, well, I just have to act like nothing happened. really it's the only mental option.

awesome!

be sure to let us know how it goes!